Confidence for Interview

[frank1538]

I agree that confidence will help.  But, I must say that Jingwen was very nervous, at least going in.  Two things weighed very heavily on her.  One was that this was the first time she was going face to face with the mighty US government which had been holding her fate for a year.  Second was her inability to speak English.  I don't know if her nervousness was displayed during the interview, but she did a fine job as evidenced by the visa (now expired) in her passport.

Frank,

 

Did you go to GZ? Or did she ask you to go?

I was there, and it was never a question. From the beginning, she and I both expected that I would be there. The interview was certainly a part of it, but Jingwen had never been out of the country, and she was also worried that she would have problems traveling to the US with her limited English skills.

 

Besides, she needed a porter to carry her bags. B)

[Two-Trees]

Please... CHILL OUT!

 

Fear and nervousness are contagious!!

 

The night before our interview we did not practice.

 

We did not have a massive binder of e-mails and pictures

-We just had 3 or4 e-mails and 3 or 4 pictures.

 

We did not buy a special set of clothes

-She wore a clean denim skirt and a pink cotton shirt

 

We did not get nervous and practice questions for hours

-We went to dinner, held hands, took a walk, and talked

 

We did not get stressed out or nervous

-We knew that we would find a way to be together, regardless

 

We did not spend endless hours on CFL stressing about it

-We enjoyed the process and the end of the process

 

 

So those of you going for your interviews...

 

RELAX -Fear is the mind killer

 

Do what the forms tell you to do

 

Get together a couple days before the interview & emotionally reconnect

 

Get to the interview relaxed & speak from the heart

 

Know that even if the interview doesn't go well that you can and will work it out.

 

The system is not perfect, but it works. (Some times slowly...)

 

Please don't stress out your SO about her/his interview.

 

We actually enjoyed ours.

 

You can too.

 

 

 

Charles & Hong

 

Been there, Done that.

[Dan R]

Aw Charles you are making it too easy. No anxiety? No last minute break up? Where is the fun?

 

Thanks for bringing things into perspective. After all these are cut and dry government procedures with set guidlines even if we aren't given the book.

 

swedish proverb “worry gives a small thing a big shadow, ”

[david_dawei]

Wow,

Once again the timely posting of a topic. This touches not only on the fears I know Jen will have, but me as well. Having made a dreadful mistake a while ago of telling her of possible problems about language issues I had to go on damage control to calm her down. Fortunatly, that was many months ago and for the most part I've brought her around but I know it is still there in her mind as she does mention it from time to time.

This really helps since I will be there, I have some ideas of how to proceed.

The night before, no cramming. We'll go out for dinner, relax, but try not to be uptight about it.

She already has shown me, how she can make herself look very professional and I'm sure her attire will be apropriate.

I will make very sure that she understands that this is only a formality and we will be booking our flight home the very next day.

I will also take every moment we have before to re-kindle the feelings we shared when we were last together starting with the brand new ring she will finally have on her finger.

And most of all, I'll continue to make her understand that all I am there for, is her, and to be or do what ever she needs. This is not so much to help her though this "terrible" ordeal, but rather to show the gratitude of the fact that our lives are moving forward again and our waiting is almost over.

hey jim.. sounds like you got it under control now !! Best to you two.

[david_dawei]

Please... CHILL OUT!

no Freudian slip here ! Just Freud in your face

 

When I think of the natural friendly and confident manner of Zixuan, I do want to make sure she shows up feeling more natural than doing a drill...

 

So all this is well taken !

[Feathers268]

hey jim..  sounds like you got it under control now !! Best to you two.

Thanks David, it doesn't feel like it yet, but I am getting there. But then, 75% of the stressing now is working on the many little details of getting her here. This really has put my mind at ease about the interview and I think I'll refer Jen's cousin to it to help relay the message about relaxing also. Jen has been so busy shopping for me and for our home( I still really like saying that ), she has not had much time to stress so maybe I'll keep her at it for the next week or so. That way I can get there and we'll do this together.