Having children in china

[beijingjenny]

I don't see what would be so difficult about raising them in China. In fact, I think for us it would be easier - I mean, a full time Aiyi for $100/month. Where you gonna get that kind of help in the States. Right now we have things easier in the States cuz of welfare and my parents. But in all, life was much easier for us back in China and would be for the kids too. Besides just the fact they are also Chinese and need to know that part of themselves.

[jgrier5]

They are Chinese and AMerican. And I feel that American society is more accepting of "diversity" than China. Think about it, when you walk down the street in China, what do people do? Stare. Now imagine people doing that to your kids.

[Dan R]

I grew up in the U.S. and I have been stared at, beat up, vandalized, been excluded and had a pet killed because of who I am. J. you are younger and I hope your observation means things have changed.

 

Maybe having the experiences I do I am not so concerned of what may happen in China. I don't expect it would be any worse and think it would be less of a problem.

[jgrier5]

Well Dan, I don't know you well enough to know why you went through the things you did. The facts specific to your case may be totally different than the issue at hand.

 

Secondly, our child will be part African-American and part Chinese. A unique combo! I would take a second look at a person who was that combo here in the states! Just because it is interesting. So imagine how children in China, having only been exposed to ppl who look like them, would act...

[Dan R]

My skin color may be white but growing up no one had any problem of recognising me as Jewish or using the common expression of the time "an inside out n***r".

 

I guess you may not have gotten to many different regions in China. The ethnic facial differences are very wide. In skin color, eye and face shape. Of course people speak distinct dialects as well. We may stand out there but also my SO is never thought to be from the north and has even been called Japanese.

[jgrier5]

On the contrary, I have travelled to several different provinces in CHina, and I found that despite the different dialects. But that sort of "I am a different from other chinese" is much more mild than how different my children will be from the general population.

 

As I mentioned before, our circumstances may be a bit different. So what is good for me any my children may not necessarily follow for you.

[Dan R]

are you saying I don't know what is best for all of us?

[jgrier5]

yes.

[Guest aosnow]

when I said I could never consider raising a child in china, "i couldnt do that to a loved one", i was not dissing CFL. However, I will state AGAIN, I married a chinese citizen, but I did not marry china and everything chinese. It is not required for a K1 visa to ignore the problems of china and speak nothing but kind words for the country, it's politics or it's culture. Sorry to break the news to some.

[david_dawei]

Any good book on chinese culture for travelers will tell you about the 'stares' you can expect.. And I found the kids willing to fulfill their curiosity by coming forward to say hi. I don't think that kids would be the issue , but whether acceptance by adults appears to happen or not. They may not be used to see others of different skin, but I wouldn't hold that against them. Everyone situation is unique.. I just hope that prejudice doesn't sneak into the mix.

[david_dawei]

when I said I could never consider raising a child in china, "i couldnt do that to a loved one", i was not dissing CFL.  However, I will state  AGAIN, I married a chinese citizen, but I did not marry china and everything chinese. It is not required for a K1 visa to ignore the problems of china and speak nothing but kind words for the country, it's politics or it's culture. Sorry to break the news to some.

I did not take this as a diss... Your strong opinions for preferring to stay in the US are no different than, say my strong opinions for wanting to go back to China to live. You've got no love lost over China, as I feel for the US. I don't see any big deal in it. As long as we're not attacking the other just for their point of view... But I think that subtle forms of prejudice often are at work.. and frankly, my prejudice for China means on some level a prejudice against the US...

[Guest fhtb]

But I think that subtle forms of prejudice often are at work..  and frankly, my prejudice for China means on some level a prejudice against the US...

 

Oh, this is pure silliness.

 

China has 30% of the world's fatal traffic accidents. It has a huge percentage of various epidemic diseases. It is crowded as hell and in some parts, unbelievably polluted. Finally, you are only allowed one child, you can't vote, and if I worked there, I would only make one-tenth of what I make in the USA. I would consider it irresponsible to my children to move to China.

 

If that makes me "prejudiced" against living in China, sign me up.

 

Some people can see "prejudice" in a bowl of soup...

[david_dawei]

I'm glad you see it this way.. all distinction is silliness in the end.

 

BTW: I have a prejudice for clam chowder...

[beijingjenny]

Jgrier, I knew a lot of mixed and not Chinese at all (by ethnicity anyway) kids in China and they were all very happy and well adjusted in Chinese schools and the community. They are probably quite an oddity at first - especially the more "white" ones who speak Chinese like any other Chinese kids. But I never heard of any troubles of being treated differently.

 

That's not to say people are all accepting of course, but it would prob be harder for the parents than the kids.

[tonyontherock]

Having lived in this part of the world for 6 months, I do believe it is better living here than the states. I do work here. The pay is lower than say in New York city, but still pretty good compared with the cost of living.

Air quality is bad and it is indeed crowded. What I hate the most is the import duty on cars. Otherwise I could buy a nice little yellow car Hong Kong and drive over. Food is cheap, so are most other services. If you turn a blind eye to what the government and officials are doing to the people, it is actually nice place to live. The people are very friendly and strangers can become close friends in a matter of hours. Every one lives like there is only today. What is not to like. If I get sick, I fly back to Hong Kong and see doctor Schwartz.