griz326

I ask here because talking about death is "inauspicious;" my wife simply will not discuss such things - period, exclamation point, the end. She won't budge on that.

As I said in the other thread, Lao Po's mom is declining. My belief has always been that I want to see you while you're alive and decent shape. I see no sense in funerals. So as a result, I presumed that I should send my girls back to China ASAP to see the aging family. At our card game last night, my buddy, who did quite a few years in 'Nam said, funerals are very important over there and suggested that my premise might be wrong. He said that I'd be sending the girls over for every funeral and that going there to see them when they are alive wouldn't count for beans. Does anyone know for certain?

Driving north to Cranbrook, British Columbia from here brings the fares down quite a bit. I've got to re-learn all of this stuff all over again

STORY #1: Carried a pair of Nikes to my nephew because his mom didn't trust that she could get genuine Nike shoes in China. STORY #2: Just before spring festival, I carried several boxes of cigars and several bottles of hootch over in my checked baggage. Crossing over from Hong Kong to China, they were checking bags (the only time in all of my trips). When I saw that, I took one of the inspectors aside and told her that I had more tobacco and liquor than the signs said that I could have. She and another inspector walked me into a room and searched my bags, inspecting the cigars and the booze. They smiled and said, "It's okay. Go now." MORAL: If they're checking bags, be honest and don't expect to slide through.

Lao Po's mom is in declining health and Baba ain't no spring chicken. As a result, I feel it is my responsibility to get both of the girls back to see the 2 grandmas and grandpa before they die. ...so I checked fares from Montana to Nanning on Orbitz and saw that each ticket costs $990. I can live with that even though it's substantially more than I paid when I was courting Lao Po. HOWEVER, the fees on each ticket amount to $457. What's up with 'DAT? I really haven't started shopping yet, but my first probe just blew me away! Are those the sort of prices I need to adjust to? (Trip dates covered all of January - I'll refine those later) Of course, living in Eureka, MT raises the rates on the trip quite a bit...but the fare fees are nothing less than mind-boggling. Can anyone explain those fees and how to get around them? B)

The back surgeon who saved my life this summer and has me walking today, told me last week that he doesn't want to operate on my back again unless there's spinal slippage. In my situation, I'd happily go to a healer like the one you're talking about now (even though my surgeon did a good job), because of the risk:benefit ratio. I'm hoping I don't have to ask you to make that connection for me, but it's comforting to know, that I know someone who knows someone.

Lao Po came downstairs this morning while I'm working away on the computer, trying not to be distracted by the discomfort of sitting. She looks at me and breaks out into wailing. I thought someone called her and told her someone in the family died. It was terrible. Finally, I got her to explain that she was worried that I'd never be able to walk, or drive, or fly in an airplane again. Each of those is a real possibility and one that I'm preparing for, however, I've not given up the fight. I doubt that I'll ever return to 100%, but I fully expect to get to better than 85-90% which should be good enough to resume a normal life and am hoping for 95% or better. I've shared those thoughts with my brother and my closer men friends, because there's no sense in trying to fool my friends. However - and this is my fault - I never expected one of those men to share my candid concerns with his Chinese wife. This morning, Lao Po talked on the phone with one man's wife and Lao Po was wailing at my feet minutes later. Clearly, I misjudged the man. Because of the way this information came back to me, he gave his wife the full, man-talk details of what I shared with him. I mistakenly believed that he understood the lines in the sand defining man-talk from women-talk. He will never again be trusted with candid information from me. This is very sad because I was starting to believe he was okay and I really hate to have to be on-guard with people I allow into my home. The moral of this tale is that if you have sensitive information, you do not want passed in explicit detail to your wife, be very cautious about sharing it with someone who might pass it along to one of your wife's Chinese girlfriends. OBTW - I tell my wife the truth about everything, although I wrap some of the information in soft, cushy wrapping paper with a pretty ribbon on it.

I'm surprised you haven't eaten any pigeons, Mick. They are almost as good as mountain chicken, but you gotta bag a lot of them because there ain't much to 'em. Haven't seen any opossum or coons around here, but it ain't bad eatin' if you know how to cook 'em. I always had a little taste of my neighbor's possum when I'd visit with her family at Thanksgiving. She knew how to cook 'em. Really! You guys are funny! BTW - Next weekend, I'm going to take a ride in the forest to see if I can get some mountain chicken. We'll see how I hold up on those forest service roads

Yup, it's getting cold outside, so the Rocky Mountain mice are sneaking into the house. Lao Po, being a Chinese mouse, is a little worried that I'm poisoning and trapping those critters. Perhaps she's worried that she's next!

I'm pleased to say that I'm back to work...half-time to start. The first few days was pretty tough...and half-time quickly turned into 7/8s time And Lao Po has expanded her egg business by buying our neighbor's chicken eggs - PLUS - she's gone into the baby sitting business. Gawd bless her!

Hard to believe that China beats the USA in greenness! Everywhere I've been there it reminds me of Pittsburgh circa 1957. Of course, China is still developing...that just happens to be kicking our butt! http://www.smartplanet.com/blog/business-brains/which-country-has-greenest-reputation-hint-not-the-us/18494?tag=nl.e662

Considering the progress made since my first trip China 30+ years ago, I'm inclined to think that they're doing a pretty good job overall. Looked at the Politburo because of that erroneous post elsewhere...but still think the qualifications are quite impressive. We too have princes and litmus tests for both parties. Youth rarely gets much power until the youth is gone from them. Of course, Obama is a young guy and we see what he has done. I imagine that if we compared backgrounds of our politicians, we'd find far too many lawyers and far too few engineers. ...as for Hoover, there's an exception in every class I'm inclined to think that China's last 30 years delivered more to the people than the last 30 years delivered to the people in the USA. ...although there are so many more ways to consider our situation compared to the basics that were essential for China in that time that perhaps such a comparison is invalid on the face of it.

I'm reading the backgrounds of the 24 members of the Chinese Politburo after a person on another forum asserted that they were all engineers... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politburo_of_the_Communist_Party_of_China#Current_.2817th.29_Politburo_members.5B2.5D ...well they are not ALL engineers, but they all seem to be very accomplished. There are a boat load of engineers, chemists, mathematicians and economists. It surely gives me a sense that China is being led by the best and the brightest in China. We do not have a politburo, so a 1:1 comparison is not possible...but I wonder...

I'm sorry, even though I'm an old radio guy, I didn't catch the station name. It was the station that our daughter last listened to from Guangzhou. Pretty nice music selection though.

About 7pm last night, I called Lao Po into the kitchen. A Chinese internet radio station was playing a nice slow song. When Xiaoyuan got to the kitchen, I put down my cane, grabbed her and danced the slow dance with her. It was a nice moment.

Xiaoyuan & I were married 3 years ago today. The honeymoon was over quite a while ago and the challenges of reality set it. It has not been an easy go, but Lao Po is happy every day and that counts for most of the good stuff in my life. Long story short: I'd do it again. B) For those of you considering a foreign woman for your mate, just remember that the language barrier is indeed a barrier that requires a lot of time, patience, and understanding to overcome.

I don't know the specifics about the insurance, George. It provides for both long-term and short-term disability and income replacement based on a percentage of your earnings. When I log on to our HR site I'll see if I can get more details. Robert, the surgeon told me the sort of infection I had is pretty rare. It was an abscess inside the vertebrae and putting pressure on the spinal cord. I was told my spine was filled with green puss...which is supposed to mean something. ??? The surgery was performed on an emergency basis with the doc scheduling the surgical suite and arranging my admission while I was still in the MRI. To get into my spine, they had to cut sections of vertebrae bone out of each vertebrae. The procedure is called a laminectomy and the surgeon did at least 10 of them - that makes me spineless . (He didn't save the pieces. I wanted to make keychains out of them and give them to friends with the message, "Now I know you've got my back!" Seriously ) The situation was further complicated by breaking my back in childhood at L5 and the sacrum. I have some recall of the moments before surgery that strike me as if I met my maker, said something in my defense and was sent back. ...but I had so much morphine in me that it was probably just a dream. Clearly, 30-40 years ago a person with a similar probably would have died - or at the very least been paralyzed for the rest of their life. Fortunately, I am learning to learn to walk again.

Just wanted to highlight a couple of things I learned from my recent hospitalization and close brush with death: *** Did you specify in your will what should be done with you when you die? *** Did you specify a funeral home to handle your remains? I updated my will and living will before I got sick, but was surprised when the hospital asked me what should be done with my remains and who should handle it. I know that I specified in one of my final documents that I was to be cremated, but I did not say who was supposed to handle that. --- I'd like to suggest that you negotiate with a local funeral home and make the arrangements part of your final paperwork. It seems just too much to ask a spouse new to this country to handle those affairs. --- I'd also recommend that if your employer's insurance coverage offers income replacement for long and short term disabilities that you take it. That's saving our bacon right now. (If it is not part of your package, find it some where.) --- I'd also say that having some insurance coverage for the education of the children is important too. I've been so stubborn over the years that I never carried much insurance. When I got married again, I made a lucky decision to buy insurance to take care of my new responsibilities. While there are not many people as stupidly stubborn as I can be, I just thought I'd offer this up for those who might try to claim my former title of "King of the bullheads."

She's prepping the gardens for next year...but as green as that crap was...it'll still be green then!

I am lucky that my girls learned to drive here in the country. There are unique problems, but nothing like the insanity of big city driving. Daughter Yawen put on many miles this summer driving to and from the hospital (150 mile RT). She let her mom drive sometimes and gave her good Chinese instruction. ...but mom, Lao Po, is a scatterbrain - which terrifies me. Lao Po's driving is much better now than it was. I just hope she becomes competent without killing herself or anyone else...and driving only in Eureka gives her the opportunity to do that. To you guys teaching your wives in big cities, may you have guardian angels with you and yours.

That's a hoot! I can see Lao Po doing the same thing if we had a neighbor with a garden.

She awoke this morning with sage advice: "If you want to sleepy good, move-y cow poo all day." I'm going to take her to a comedy club

August 30th marks our 3rd wedding anniversary. We have a little luncheon with friends on Tuesday which marks my first venture out of the house since back surgery. Hopefully, my back will hold out for the little event. For anniversary gifts I bought Lao Po: Craft books for jewelry making, greeting card making, and handbag making...PLUS... I bought her a Dyson DC24 Animal vacuum cleaner (our current vacuum is the only thing that sours her sunny disposition). So how'd I do? Will I get lovin' or the mop???

Lao Po loves to garden, but shoveling manure is usually something you want someone else to do. Right? Not my Lao Po! She's been shoveling poop all day long and is still smiling. To make this even funnier to me, our friend with the cows decided to "fix her" and dumped in the largest load of anything that our pickup has ever carried. I mean, she's gotta a real load of ... of ... poop! No come on...who has a gal that can beat that!

I like the Flex too. However, I was actually referring to the Escape The two vehicles are quite similar, correct?