[A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words]

I'm ultimately going to QiQiHar to get married. We'll meet in Beijing and stop in Harbin to get our marriage license.

 

I think now the one thing foremost in my mind about what to expect is how they deal with the cold weather. Rob's marriage processional was outside and down the street, I don't see that happening in 0 degree weather. Things like that still occupy my thoughts.

 

As far as keeping an open mind, not a problem, I don't know if a guy could jump into a marriage with another culture and not have an open mind. But I hear you, I'll stop trying to figure out what comes next and just enjoy the ride.

 

Bryan, thanks for the link. Your wife and step daughter are beautiful. Unfortunately your pic pages didn't load for me.

[A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words]

I just happened across Robhon's pics and I got the best look at China and Chinese family life that I'll get until I actually go there.

 

Up to this point I only found tourism and uninvolved photos. It gave me an understanding that, while I'm going to a foriegn country, maybe one of the most foriegn to an American, it is not entirely alien.

 

I don't know about anyone who's been there, but I've had a lack of perspective, not really a misconception, but no concept at all. Trying to picture the airport, the in-law's home, the streets, restaurants, I had no real images to draw from. Somewhere between Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and a bad 1980's Chinese tourist video, I tried to put together some coherent understanding of what to expect.

 

The wedding pictures alone were a wealth of insight and comfort. Going there to participate in my own wedding, I almost dreaded what awaited me. Not anymore.

 

Shots of the family, the interior of homes, the McDonald's, the airport, all of this brought me down to earth, I think. I really appreciate your sharing, Rob. This is just another aspect of CFL that makes the site and it's members invaluable.

 

And Rob, your son is beautiful. You are truly blessed.

 

If anyone else has pics to share, I'd love to see them.

[A Dozen Roses]

Definitely good info. Thanks Owen.

 

ShuPing says her brother is a smoker, but I agree with you, I don't want to bring American cigarettes to hand out. I was thinking along the lines of a lighter, a cigarette case and an as yet undecided something, hmmm, maybe a box of Nicoderm patches.

 

I like the fine fountain pen idea. And, of course, what's more American than Jack Daniels?

 

Alright, I've got some great ideas. CFL Rocks!

[A real scary thought]

Now there's a little tidbit of info that I might be able to use.

 

I was fully expecting to have to undergo a physical when I go to China in order to get married.  I just read about a new law that a physical is no longer required to get married.  Even so, I don't know what to expect when we go to get the marriage license, we may be told that we need one.  Now I know to bring my own syringe and needle.

 

A healthy Mark is a happy Mark.  Thanks again guys.

Hi Mark this is Mark. I just now asked my wife Bea, who I married here in China. She says the new policy started in oct. and you no longer need the blood tests and physical to get married. She just added that you may need to be tested for HIV which she will check into and I would think you could have done in the states and just bring the results with you and have translated into chinese here if needed.

 

Hi Mark,

 

Thanks to Bea for confirming that. I recently had an HIV test done and I will bring it along, just in case.

[A real scary thought]

Now there's a little tidbit of info that I might be able to use.

 

I was fully expecting to have to undergo a physical when I go to China in order to get married. I just read about a new law that a physical is no longer required to get married. Even so, I don't know what to expect when we go to get the marriage license, we may be told that we need one. Now I know to bring my own syringe and needle.

 

A healthy Mark is a happy Mark. Thanks again guys.

[A Dozen Roses]

Money is always good, forgot about the red for luck, a red envelope, now we're talking.

[Cool Clock]

Cool! I'm going be looking at this at midnight on New Year's Eve night.

[A Dozen Roses]

Li always was happy when I gave her nine roses. She says that in Chinese culture, this means eternal love. So I tried to give nine whenever possible. Russian culture is different I'm sure.

 

I don't think I ever mentioned it, but my ex-wife is Russian, born in America. So I am somewhat familiar with Russian culture, having been exposed to her family. The only other significant, long-term relationship I have had with a woman was with a Cuban woman in Miami. After Li and I married, a friend remarked that I must have a thing for women from Communist countries. Russia was Communist when my ex and I were married.

Pretty in pinko?

One good thing about the internet is it brings the world together. Once we start getting to know someone from a communist country the labels start to fall away and we realize there is a human being in there.

Carl

Good point Carl, We truly are the ambassadors of love.

 

I feel I have a unique opportunity to impress the hell out of the in-laws and show them that, even though I am a decadent American, I am a wonderful human being. Not only do I get to buy wedding gifts for them, but I could give multiples of 3 and really blow them away. Now, the question is, what?

 

So far, Bro-in-law is getting a cigarette lighter. Sis-in-law a Chinese bible. Not sure what to get Ma-in-law. Any suggestions?

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Gorsh! I go away for a few days and look what happens. I left this discussion at the top of page 3.

 

Mark,

 

Since your trip will be in the winter time, I would suggest that you bring a lot of warm clothes to China.  A lot of places in China don't have enough heating.

 

I hear you about the cold. I live in Denver and the other night it was close to 0 degrees and snowy. I kept reminding myself that, where I'm going, 0 is the average temperature in Dec. Just bought a new pair of insulated boots and long johns. I'll be getting a ski mask soon and ShuPing says she will present me with a scarf when I arrive in Beijing. And yes, the woman will be very close.

 

Well, I have heard the warning about the water and I'm not one to tempt fate (at least not when it comes to diarreah). Like I said, this'll be my honeymoon and I've got better things to do than sit on a toilet. I'll be buying a case of bottled water and hauling it around with me, ala Bryan.

 

I'm going to assume that the restaurant food is generally safe to eat, though I know there's probably a good chance that something will have a negative effect on me. My concern would be more about the home cooking I'll be getting when I stay with the in-laws. No clue about northern Chinese sanitary customs and conditions.

 

As for the laptop, I probably will buy an older model, just enough to do the web cam and e-mail. Most likely I'll buy it there and I won't have to worry about software issues. Though it would be nice (and it sounds like the case) if it will be just as useful to her when she comes here as it is there.

 

I trust the traditional Chinese medicine, in fact, I'm hoping to encourage ShuPing to study it more and bring it with her. She already has a basic course and ambitions for more. I told her it's a good business to get into here. I feel pretty confident that I'll be in good hands with her.

[Wife's Friend Wants to Meet America Man]

I told ShuPing I didn't want a slave, if she just wants to be a servant she could stay in China. Of course I don't want a dominate, overbearing, b**** either, (went there with the ex).

 

A co-worker and I have this conversation all the time. The majority of American women seem to be into control and manipulation of a relationship. It's the main reason I looked outside the US for a relationship.

 

Matter of fact, I wasn't looking for anything serious when I found ShuPing. I also met women in Greece, Iran, Thailand and England, ShuPing was the one I hit it off the best with, next thing I knew, I was on my way to China. BTW I put an ad on Date.com and e-mailed her, she responded and we went from there.

 

Interestingly, my buddies at work are waiting to see how things work out with ShuPing and I, but they are definitely interested in meeting someone. And ShuPing has a friend in mind.

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

A funny thing happened as I was double-checking those little ducks and making sure they were all lined up, ever so straight in their rows, I came across this statement on http://www.usembassy-china.org.cn/us-citiz...en/mrginfo.html

 

All English-language documents must be translated into Chinese. Translation of documents usually takes about a month, but can be completed within 10 days at double the original cost. Translations should be obtained from and certified by one of the Municipal Public Notary offices.

 

Is this a detail that I've over-looked or is it not so important? I assume, since it came from the embassy page, it's important.

 

If it is a requirement, does anyone know a good translator service?

[Food Cravings and Other Items]

OK, I'ver been told that in and around Nanning, if it moves on the ground and isn't a car, flies in the air and isn't a plane, swims in the water and isn't a boat, then it's dinner. I'm hoping that ShuPing has more refined tastes than that, being from the north, but I'm only hoping at this point.

 

Fish heads and eyeballs?!!!!! OMG! I won't kiss her for a week if she does that.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

OK, so I take it that they sell bottled water, that sounds like a very good thing. I'll take the Immodium and, since it's winter, I'll skip the ice in my drinks. Nothing like major diarrhea for your honeymoon. Instead of her being locked up in the bathroom, it'd be me, for all the wrong reasons.

 

It's interesting about the computers though. I would think the keyboard would have to be different. How do they send Pinyin and characters then? I also thought ours wouldn't be compatible with theirs.

 

Good thing you guys are around. Hopefully I'll be able to help out the next new guy.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Rather than start a new topic, I thought I'd ask a couple of questions somewhat OT, but close enough to qualify for this one.

 

Since I haven't heard any hint about it, I assume there is no problem with the water in China, no need to worry about "Mao's Revenge", true or should I pack lots of water?

 

ShuPing needs a lap top and a web cam, the friend who has one will be leaving soon (married to a Brit). Are computers there basically the same as computers here? Are the keyboards different (50,000 Chinese character keys - I don't think so) or do they have accented PinYin keys? I know their plugs are different, but are they on the same electrical system we are, i.e. 110V 60 cycles (I think that's right) or is it different? Also what's the price comparison, I've heard they're cheaper in China.

 

OK those were the two burning questions at the moment, please forgive the tangent.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Thanks Mick, I was doubting my virtue for a sec.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Thanks guys, It won't be an issue for long, we should have our license 5 or 6 days after I arrive. I guess it's just my eagerness to spend every moment with her since our time together will be so short.

 

Could someone remind me that patience is a virtue?

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

Thanks Don.

 

I spoke to ShuPing this morning and she was a little upset that we might not marry yet, I told her I had heard more about it and looked into it quite a bit more and also did some praying. We'll get married officially and I'll go the K-3 route. ShuPing is happy again.

 

I think a lot of the ambiguity I feel, and I assume others as well, is the fear that this could take forever. I realized that I've done the research I need, I'm all prepared (or almost) and I just have to have faith that the process will go as quickly as possible. Faith is a big part of this whole process. How could a person go through the waiting and separation without it?

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

You better bring plenty of gifts for everyone in her family, otherwise, you're on the "sh*t  list" from day one.

I'll start my shopping now. They're gonna love me.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Germany, Ahhhh yes. Those were the days.

 

Another German social more' that I was rather fond of was public nudity. I bet that's not legal in Beijing either.

 

So what do we Americans do when we go to China? Simply rely on our common sense and heavily on our gals to tell us what's OK and what's not? I'm sure I'll be much more knowledgable once I've been there, but for now, I've got a million questions. Too many to be answered here, I'm sure.

 

That whole illegal co-habitation thing was valuable info, that's for sure.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

Alrighty then.

 

I think my decision about whether to make the wedding official or not is becoming clearer. I hope they don't post someone outside the door during the day.

 

Free is relative, I suppose. In Germany, at least when I lived there, it was not illegal to pee on the sidewalk, but you never actually saw anyone doing it, at least not on a busy one anyway.

 

I bet it's not leagal in Beijing.

 

You know the problem with Pinyin is the accents and typing them on the computer, you never know which form of a word to look up in the dictionary. That being the case, what does "se lang" mean?

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

I think my confusion stems from a lack of understanding about which forms request what.

 

It was my understanding that I-130 was all part of the K-3 process. In other words, you wouldn't get the K-3 until the I-130 was approved. That's not the case?

 

Now, let's see if I got this straight, K-3 and I-130 are independent of each other? She still needs the I-130 to be approved for her to stay here long term, but in the meantime we can get the K-3 in 8 months to a year and she can come over and stay for up to 2 years?

 

You're probably shaking your head and wondering why I don't know this, but I appreciate our patience and experience.

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

That's the kind of thing I want to know about. I know China was pretty repressive at one time and that's got to have had an effect on the people. Maybe it's region to region or rural to urban. Do people have a different concept of the government in Beijing than they do in a small farming community?

 

ShuPing showed some concern that (and I may not have understood her correctly) if we were to stay together in the same hotel room before getting our marriage license, someone would tell the police. It sounded as if it were against the law rather than just a matter of cultural morality. (She also told me that her family would be embarrassed if we did it).

 

So, how free can that be?

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

I'm really surprised that no one has mentioned K-3. If you want to get married in China, then do it. File the I-130 at NSC nd as soon as you get the NOA1 receipt, file an I-129F at Chicago for the K-3. It will likely be a little faster than a K-1 through NSC.

Can I do that? I thought everything had to go through NSC. Is Chicago really that much faster? That's great news Don, if it's true.

[My Big Fat Chinese Wedding]

Well, I love the girl. I'll do what it takes to get her here, even waiting 18 months if neccessary. What a crazy ordeal.

 

I thought I had this all figured out. I thought I read somewhere that once 9-11 had settled down, the processing times were the same for either fiance or spouse, from start to finish. Now it looks like (not just what I've read here, but other research I've done today) the fiance visa is quicker, a lot quicker. Maybe it's always been that way, but....

 

OK, I've got a fiance and her family expecting a wedding. Maybe we can do it without the license, official to us but not to the government.

 

The other thing is, doesn't the K-1 Visa require proof that the couple has been together several times prior to getting approval? I don't know how often I can get to China. Like I said, I'll do what I have to to get her over here.

 

All you guys that have gone through this, were you this confused?

[What's Allowed/Not Allowed in China?]

I don't think the disrespect thing will come into play for me, I'm generally easy-going and not easily perturbed. I also grew up having to respect my elders, so that's second nature. If I do anything "wrong" it would be something like toasting my host before his/her 3rd toast.

 

As far as bringing anything into the country, I only plan to bring my camcorder and digital camera, the bible and clothes. I'm not sure what I'll bring back with me, it will probably be minimal. A few gifts for those back home. Hmmmm, I wonder if ShuPing will fit in the suitcase.....