What my husband said is true. but for the second question , we both have never heard of it. If you are doing "modern-traditional" Chinese way, then you will have to "knock the door of the bride", and her friends will ask you a lot of silly questions. you need to pay them off by sliding the small red envelope under the door. (usually only 20 or 30 kuai in each envelope). I don't know if this is what you are talking about. In China, the traditions are different in different places, hope this can help you some.
