kangjie

So far in my quest to learn a wee bit of mandarin I have tried the following, Instant immersion Audio- Puts me to sleep Instant immersion Deluxe 2.0 with Software/with speech recognition. -For whatever reason not working with me www.instantspeakchinese.com. - The big weakness is that it is not interactive but otherwise very good Various books (chinese in plain English by De Mente being the favorite) I listen to chinesepod.com. I like it but to early to rate, I do like the Saturday show My favorite hands down because i have learned more in two weeks than the last 3 months is this Pimsleur. That program just seem to cause you to recall and practice which forces you to retain what you learn.

When you say minority groups do you mean like Hakka chinese? I think my girl is Hakka(called something like Keija). I have heard this before by all kinds of men. I think the reality is men want Chinese women from China simply because the have been raised outside of Western Culture and are very attractive.The more westernized China becomes the less difference there will be. You are seeing something like this go on in Russia now. I simply say I am pro-choice when it comes to women.It is really the only leverage a guy has in this day and age. All women that I have talked to have thought(green card,household maid) or if there American just the fact that they are slim. I have the right to pursure Life, liberty and happiness. My pursuit took me to China Besides, since you have free flow of capital and labor from country to country, free flow of spouse hunting soon follows. I am free to sell my product in another market if I can not get a fair price in this one. I said this once to an expat white lady in Japan while chatting(no dates in 6 years there) attractive by American standards. She was complaining about how well expat guys do over there compared to expat girls. The market is oversaturated, seek new markets or lower the price.

I will leave commenting upon all your other questions to others but I would like to make a few remarks on this one. Many times, Asian cultures are pretty similar--at least as compared to western cultures--but on this aspect, the Chinese are distinctively different than the Japanese or Koreans. Both Japan and Korea think of Japanese Americans and Korean Americans respectively as not Japanese or Koreans. Generally speaking, they think less of them. You can read numerous articles on the plight of war babies (American GI sired children in Korea) and how they are generally shunned in Korea. Japan and Korea both think of ethnic Japanese and Koreans born abroad as outsiders, not true Japanese or Koreans. On the other hand, the Chinese generally consider all ethnic Chinese to be Chinese. They mostly embrace all ethnic Chinese people as Chinese and will forever think of them as Chinese, no matter if the Chinese is a Chinese American, Chinese Canadian or Chinese French. This is a distinctive difference between China and Japan/Korea. Even if the Chinese American is born in the US, if the person goes back to China for a visit, the Chinese people will consider this American as Chinese because that Chinese American is Chinese by blood and ethnicity. When I say Chinese above, I mean the culture and the people, not the Chinese government. Obviously the Chinese government doesn't consider Chinese Americans born in the US to be Chinese nationals. Of course this is a generalization. There will be some who may disagree, but this definitely holds true as a broad generalization. So how would the normal Chinese person view mixed Chinese children you think?. Would they view them as Chinese or mostly whatever other ethnic group they are ?. I'm asking you to speculate about the views of a billion people I know, its stupid but...I had to ask. I'm curious. I'm part Indian by birth(a very little bit) but enough to be a card carrying member of the Choctaw tribe(Oklahoma) but not considered Indian by most indians. Never been to a sweat lodge or an Indian school or know anything about the lanquage, don't look indian at all. You get the point. Most indians avoided being Indians whenever they could until about the 1960's. I can tell you some generalizations about them that have some validity good and bad. Some body asked why I even care about these questions or at least I think it was directed at me. I think these are valid questions to ask for anybody thinking about having a child with there chinese spouse. My question is why wouldn't you think about it ? There is this interesting book called YELL-oh girls by Vickie Nam. There are several Asian teen age women writing short essays about various things ,but some about there lives growing up and how they fit in this world and the other one across the sea. Lots of stuff in there I would have never thought of. I was thinking it would be neat to be a young kid right now with connections in China and America, just for the economic oppurtunities alone. 18 years from now this kid may try to make his way back to Asia. You never know.

I was more curious about the differences amongst various types Chinese and how they feel about each other and us. I consider a certain amount of prejudice perfectly normal otherwise the kids of rich white liberals would be going to the high schools with inner city gang bangers. Prejudice is exactly where it has always been only the expression of it has changed. It is a very overused word I agree.

Seeing how I have this endless wait in front of me I like to think up stuff to worry about. It is kind of like my hobby. I should really take up smoking My ponderings have produced the following: I wonder how well the mixed kids are accepted in China and America? I wonder how chinese view second or third generation Chinese. I am very surprised to read some of the message boards with Chinese Americans having a hard time with there people mixing with others. I understand it of course(because so do whites) but it is just so different when actually over in China and they seem so supportive of it(kind of happy). Makes me wonder how the Chinese really view me Makes me wonder about mixed white/chinese kids being accepted. Maybe this thing goes over better in China than America. After talking to a Chinese american lady that had moved over here 12 years ago. I get this feeling even she is thinking, why do you travel all the way over there when there is a Chinese American lady right here in front of you.

Paula, Have you and you So already married ? Do you guys have scheduled trips back to China during the year. I get exactly what you are saying because when I was visiting my So, I was crazy about her and China but I always had this discombobulated(confused) feeling like I was way out of place. It is just a feeling of being alone in a far away place and being different. I was ready to get on the plane and come back sorta. As soon as I was back for 2 days I immediately missed China and my So. Sometimes the best cure for homesickness is to go home. I have been trying to come up with soultions before she gets here or at least prepare her for it. I told her to look at the first three months as an evaluation period. There is always a way back home in time. In america you can love it or kind of like it or mildly tolerate it or hate it to death if you feel like it. You can flucuate between all four if you want and many people do.

Ya, anyone that thinks Shenzhen has no crime is watching too much cctv, which is 99% of what is on t.v. In fact Shenzhen has one of the highest crime rates in all of china, everything from organized crime, to murders, extortion, white collar crime, street crime. Welcome to America where there is free press. She will notice the news is filled with crime stories locally and nationwide because U.S. has free press and China news is censured by the government. They denied AIDS for many years and denied they even has SARS until the WHO exposed the disease coverup. She will be shellshocked by the free press but her mind will already be brainwashed from China propagana over many years. China TV, radio, and news is very Nationalistic but very slowly changing. Next, she will have to learn to drive (Welcome to America) and no .50-$1 taxi ride. Get her, her own computer with Chinese windows and that way she can maintain contact with all her friends and family if they have computer. She can also keep up with what is going on in China. Dish network has good package of Chinese stations, CCTV9 will do her no good as it is in all Enlish, and again propagands. The Chinese package is very expensive though, at least the last time I checked. Have her learn how to shoot a gun, then have her carry if you are in a state that permits this. I don't know why but the Chinese girls always win the gold medals in the Olympics for the shooting competition. Teach her about how this country is governed as compared to China. She will not care anyway as in China the people have no say who gets in office. Only in the long term will she realize the difference between a democratic and communist run government. She will be shell shocked so just have to be patient. I have been to China many many times and at first everything seemed just like any other city in the U.S., but the more I went, the more I saw how opposite the 2 countries are. I think I will wait and check her temper out a little before I get her the gun.

wow that cuts out like 85 percent of americans good for China for finally puttin there fist down do we know the percentage of the fat and pill popping folk of this country? i bet its a staggering number I don't think it was fat or ugly. I think it was a BMI over 40(obese). It makes perfect sense to me. If someone 49 years old and very overweight adopts a small child was are the chances they will live to support this child till they are in college. I would say less than a 49 year old healthy person. I think it is a touchy subject for interracial/culure adoptions to begin with the chinese people. actually it does The rules bar parents who take medication for psychiatric conditions, including depression and anxiety, or who have a "facial deformity." I would not interpet "facial deformity" as excludeing your garden variety ugly folks. An example might be Rosie Odonnell or Larry King, not very handsome but not deformed either. If that does in fact mean garden variety ugly folks, well that seems like a stupid rule. I wonder who does the judgeing ?

I went with the 200 dollar money thing as well. I had debated whether to send anything because I still have the big expenses of the visa fee and plane ticket for her to come over. For those on a budget I think they will understand if you tell them of the upcoming expenses it takes to bring them over. If they don't that tells you a lot right there.

I'm not sure I would call it neglect and abuse to be adopted by a unhealthy person. I'm sure americans do an excellent jobs with these kids and I'm sure it beats growing up in the orphanage. I have heard of some americans adopting another chinese child after the first worked out so well. National Geographic has a video called 'the lost girls of china' about people coming to adopt chinese kids hosted by Lisa Ling. Very touching and makes you proud to be an american. It is just important that they place these kids with the best possible parents if they can afford to be choosy. After what has happened to these kids I think they deserve the best These unhealthy people can still go to Vietnam or cambodia if there are an excess of children or try for a special needs child. I needed my parents help until I was 27 off and on before I became completely independent I would have had a lot worse time to lose my parent at 22 or 23. I imagine this is even more important for an adopted child. It is horrible to abuse and neglect any child but to adopt a kid out of an orphanage and abuse them is the purest form of evil I can think of.

wow that cuts out like 85 percent of americans good for China for finally puttin there fist down do we know the percentage of the fat and pill popping folk of this country? i bet its a staggering number I don't think it was fat or ugly. I think it was a BMI over 40(obese). It makes perfect sense to me. If someone 49 years old and very overweight adopts a small child was are the chances they will live to support this child till they are in college. I would say less than a 49 year old healthy person. I think it is a touchy subject for interracial/culure adoptions to begin with the chinese people.

I was thinking of a rural or secondary city. Shanwei is parents hometown but I have not seen it. They are Kia Jie people I think (Hakka chinese)

Did you have to get her a special computer or did she already have one or just use yours ? Is all of her English study self study or is she takeing a class?. Once she gets here I will be collecting some phone numbers. It proably a year away since I just got the receipt for 129f last week. I just thought I would pre worry myself to death just for fun

Has anybody thought about buying real estate in china ? Maybe through a proxy like her parents or sisters. I wonder how this would go over? You never know in 20 years we all may want to retire in China or your kids may want to move over there because the buisness oppurtunities are greater. A lot of things can change in 10 or 20 years

I had the same problem trying to exchange money at the hotel. 'Too old'. It stressed me out. I'm wondering why every body seems to use western union instead of emoney gram to wire money?.

I'm checking in on the ESL class and chinese church(good ideas all). I have talked to a girl from Taiwan who said many churchs have international classes. My future wife is not releigous as far as I can tell. This may just be from the Culture and not from personal choice. I have no doubt she is tough as nails but I want to socialize her for my own selfish reasons as well. If we had children and I passed away in the future years I would want her to make it on her own and be safe. She can stay at home and I think she would not mind this as she has said as much. I just think she will feel more comfortable if she has somebody besides me to interact with(coworkers). I have thought about approaching a small buisness down the street.(A place that does nails) and offerring to pay her first couple of weeks salary out of my pocket for her to get a job there. She could always just use this as a job reference later. I can tell many of you have thought about this a lot as well. I will read the americanization thread asap and check out thus skype thing(sounds cool). Thanks I have access to CCTV channel 9 and like this a lot. Getting the other channels is a great idea.

I have this weird feeling about extracting my future wife from China to the USA. In my time in shenzhen I was so impressed how civil and safe it was for the chinese people there.Even though these people are under stress for the most part(and have some governmental issues). Overcrowding,smog,traffic,work long hours, tons of people,beggars,bad water, you still seem to be able to walk around in the middle of the night and see people ball room dancing at the park and her little neice talking running around loose and nobody is scared for her safety and they are very comfortable being social and not as isolated or aloof like americans. Even when she was barqueing with the taxi driver or vendor I just had the feeling that she fit so seemlessly in that culture. Like just another goldfish in a huge goldfish bowl. Like that is where God meant her to be. She is also so close to her sisters faimly and her own parents. I think her parents want her to get married as much as she does. She is 35 so she can make her own decisions and I have gone to great lengths to explain the reality of the USA and all of its many faults. Still it bothers me most of all. I live slightly in the counry outside a major city without many chinese people. I have been trying to come up with a plan to socialize her when she is here. I feel like I'm adopting a child in a way rather than marrying a wife because she is so dependent on me for lanquage and culture(as I was on her when I was in China). I would like to hear other peoples concerns and any chinese spouses opinions on how they dealt with the change

I hate to get off topic but I could not help but notice your timeline. I just sent my K-1 stuff off thursday and Your timeline said you have been waiting since filing your K-1 since September 2005 !!! This is more scary to me than reentry back to the USA. Please tell me you just have not updated it...

Kangjie,,, Youngster. I'm not going to say, What I Think You Sound Like To Me. Spoiled, Rich, Brat, Comes to mind! I just retired from Our Government after 30 years 8 months and 2 days. I worked for a branch of the Department of Justice. I don't now and never have worked for Walmart. I worked with some Great people and some not so great people. There are other CFLers on this site that have and still do work for your Federal Government. I can't explain why this person acted the way he or she did and I have no excuss for his or her actions. I will say this,, I retired as a Federal Law Enforcement Officer. I know my Rights as an American Citizen. It would Behove You To Know Yours! Please don't Lump the rest of us Poor Government Employees together as all AssHoles. I have Never had a problem Going To or Returning From an other Country and I have traveled all over the world. I may sound like a youngster but I'm actually older than dirt. 43 years old fixin to turn 44. And would you believe I actually work on a contract that is under a Fed agency for the last 5 years. Would you believe I actually had a chance to go to work for the DOJ in the dallas area in 1989 but picked another place. I'm going to stick by my statements down to the last word even though you held a job for 30 years. Do they actually ever fire anybody ever ? There are some talented Gov workers and I tried not to lump everybody together. I simply said the ones I run into most often suck. But I also know for a fact there plenty who don't. One of my rights as an american citizen is to criticize my government and that is exactly what I'm doing. You should be proud of me or maybe you just don't like that right. Maybe you never had any problems getting back in the country because you worked for the DOJ ? I'm a spoiled rich brat because I complain about at gov worker at the airport ?. I am spoiled rich brat then. You win. I expect a little customer service even from MY government.

I have been thinking about this topic myself, trying to be proactive. I wonder what would be the least traumatic port of entry for my fiancee especially if I do not go over and fly back with her. Even on my first trip back from China when I went through Detroit I noticed the guy asking me questions that were just plain stupid. Like why I choose China to visit. I just said I had friends there. He asked this after I told him I went for vacation. Like it is hard to beleive someone would go there just for vacation.I guess that is just reserved for Cancun. Frankly I just think this whole terrorism thing has given airport personnel of all stripes more reason to act like idiots. They sucked pretty bad before 9/11. This whole thing is a dog and pony show and I think they question people who obviously don't fit the mold of terrorist or tough guy, but do fit the mold of likely voter and tax payer to impress them with the thorough job they do or maybe they are just bitter that people actually expect them to do something besides scratch there ass all day and get paid. Now they have to rough up the occasional 60 year old senator or little old white haired lady or the nerdy college kid to make themselves feel like the warrior they hope to be someday. I have never been impressed with government workers to be honest. The word LOSER pops in my mind many times when dealing with them although I know its not PC. I know there are many skilled/brave/intelligent gov workers but I only know about this because I read about them or heard about them. I seem to only run into unmotivated ex walmart workers. I am not impressed especially when the southern border is wide open. We grill people coming in the front door but if they go around back we ignore it. It is a snapshot on everything that is wrong with our crumbling once great country. Its funny because I walked across the border from Hong Kong to Shenzhen looking like I just broke out of prison. It was the middle of the night, I hadn't changed or shaved in 24 hours, the car that was supposed to pick me up didn't show and I didn't exchange any money at the airport. I was the only white guy in the whole building filled with young chinese crossing back over on a Saturday night and I had two huge bags and in a very foul mood was I. The guy just didn't like the fact my handwriting on my little form was bad when I went through the line but all in all they were very non plussed by my presence. They had the good sense to understand the CCP was not in any danger because I entered the country and already had a visa and nothing showed up on the scan of my luggage. No need to ask me a series of meaningless question. Anyway I am thinking about San Francisco simply because there is a lot of asian's in that area. I hope there would not be comments on the whole mail order bride thing. It would be really nice if one could fly into vermont or maine as the port of entry. Please list those ports of entry when you do have a bad experience. Maybe if several people posted complaints to the US immigration website and did it consistently they might be more tactful.