ChrisD

Lurker...I respect AZ's thread, he is rallying everyone for another push at DOS/State again....I respect him. ChrisD Damm...every time I close out Candle to go to another website, I find myself drawn back to read another new posting again on Candle once more. Guys,...oh man,,,,I have to go take a shower and eat some food today. Take Care...I wish everyone who is still waiting that their loved ones will get their EMS notice to pick-up their visa's soon !! As Kojack said " WHO LOVES YOU BABY" !!! ChrisD

AZ thanks for forgiveness .....I never intended to cause a long debate. I just believe that my families privacy is something that I feel at this time is needed. I believe that the State Department, News Reporters, Guangzhou Embassy, and everyone out there knows about this website. I believe that I don't need my visa situation used as a news story for some reporter that will glorify and twist our stories just to sell news time. I was disappointed with the Arron Brown's CNN interview....his opening headline was "War Brides".....and as always repeatedly asked " why we couldn't find fiancee's and wife's in the USA" ....it is none of their business why?? I hate reporters and I don't watch the televion news because it has to put the story together quickly which "distorts the real facts at hand". The news is like watching WWF wrestling....every news agency's catch phrase is "they were 1st. on the scene to report the story" .....who gives a Hoot ; they didn't research the facts and are sensationalizing the story to make it bigger and less factual. I have actually become addicted to Candle....every morning I read before going to work; after work I rush home to read the postings; and before bed I read them again looking for new comments.....I need to step away from Candle for a short time and work on getting my family here to the States. Emotionally my wife and I have felt that we survived the Tiatanic ship wreck (fighting the US Gov./INS).....we need time to patch our emotional wounds and just think about family now, but in 1-2 months I will be back to Candle. I don't believe my experience would help many, because everyone on Candle has "anwsered all the questions others are looking for"........I just need to get out of the emotional lifeboat and start planning for the future. I am very grateful to everyone here on Candle....I will not forget you !! I wanted to share photos of my wife and her daughter with Candle.....but sometimes I cringe that the photos will be on someone elses computer hardrive.....again a privacy issue that I personally have. My wife and daughter are precious to me......I don't want to take the chance. Even at home now I silently celebrate by myself and have not shared the good news with my Mother, brothers, and sisters......I need rest now for 3 days and my wife is resting in China also. I wish I could get drunk, but I can't get past 3 beers....I am a extremely light drinker...I only drink for the brief taste. Last night I talked romantic to my wife on the telephone for 1 hour and it makes her relaxed....not dirty, just lightly romantic. I am able to make her relax with my voice and she sleeps better. I need time away from Candle to put the romance back in the relationship that has been stressed for 1 1/2 years by the visa situation. Our families love has been like a rock, but time to take care of the wife and give the daughter some "postive words of encouragement" ...she needs hugs too and to feel important the whole family. My wife's 1st. marriage her husband never gave the daughter encouragement and a feeling of emotional stability...he was a severe gambler. Anyway....I am sorry if I ever affended anyone on Candle......I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas this year 2003....last year was spent alone. AZ , Mick, Owen, Ana, Angrytexan, PJ, and everyone on Candle ....I Love You All Like Family !!! Take Care, Sincerely ChrisD

GUYS.....man you are reading into every word I put on this board. You have every right to be angry with the government and all the departments....I am angry too; but do you really believe that you can make them accountable for their actions giving us extreme stress, financial agony.....do you think a lawyer will go up against the government ?? PJ sorry for the comments I said. My privacy is important....that is why I don't give names and dates, photos....it is my business. I expressed my opinion and everyone wants to run me into the ground with logical drawn out debates....lighten up. We live in America...whether you do not agree with what I have said is rightfully your opinion...and I am not going to rebut your view. What worked for me will not necessarily work for someone else. You guys are definitely stress-out by the whole situation....I was too. What I meant "about being a freind" is .....more energy is spent fighting the system, instead of learning to work within an unfair and broken system to your advantage. I never said directly in my postings that meeting on the internet was a problem....I think it is great, I said "the art of conversation is lost"....meaning.....we live in a very "push botton world" where our thoughts and opinions are constantly being scrutinized, examined, and written in emails and letters for everyone to see....... but we have lost our privacy. I met my wife the first time in person...it was nice to step away from the computer emails and just hear her voice in a "face to face" conversation....this is all I am saying as "art of conversation". I think everyone read too deeply into my words on the posting. I think everyone deserves an apology from the government for the stress it has caused on our families...but I don't believe we will ever get that from them. I never meant to cause a long debate to happen on candle. I am a US. Citizen, I am ex-military, I am a tax payer........but I always knew that I was just another GUZ- number in the system waiting with all the other thousands of people out there. It never mattered that I gave my time and life for the good old USA.....Uncle Sam knew that I was just a number and he would never lift his hand to help me.....I was just a number. Guys, I am sorry for my words ChrisD

AZ.........to sum up my long posting I had made earlier......JUST KEEP YOUR COOL !!! Angry letters just make the situation worst because people will avoid you because your anger shows in the letters you write. Hey, remember the INS story about them shreading documents to avoid the massive backlogs in Calafornia. That letter you wrote to CA is going into that shreader quickly and forgotten. I have a feeling your EMS is coming soon !! Talk with them on the telephone Take care.....Sincerely I will say a prayer for you and your family. ChrisD PJ....get off the computer and find your soul mate. Before there were computers and chat rooms people just met the old fashion way. I think the art of basic conversation with people has been lost. PJ...stop briefly creating computer code and go out and find another women that truely will love and care for you again. I don't mean to sound harsh......I just know when I had been hurt in the past ,I put my concentration into work....and months later I should have kicked myself for not going up to another woman and just trying to have a conversation. PJ....you are a person.....not a working computer, your heart was not assembled by machine code, but flesh and blood. Make your family and yourself happy again.....It is only you that can make you happy again. Don't worry about "it might happen again ".........Just believe !!

AZ.....I understand your frustration because I was one of the July 2002 group...before the August Blackhole Group. I saw your letter to CA...the time you took to write the letter and edit the letter you could have done something else instead. I know you will probably go off and get angry at me for this advice. AZ...I had 15 years experience with working in US Government and 5 years at the US Embassy in Asia...I cannot tell you exactly which embassy......you will have to trust me on this. My wife finally picked-up her K3 visa and her daughter's K4 visa on March 10, 2003 at Guangzhou.....surprise, first time I am breaking this news to Candle now. I have not seen my wife and daughter since Oct. 2001 because not being able to get time away from my job........I was the guy who met my wife in Saudia Arabia, and I had to fight against an Arab lawyer, and then CA, GUZ, INS...........if you want to talk about frustration I was there deep in it. AZ, my advice is stop fighting and faxing letters....the government has a "short memory" and letters, emails, and faxes are "Not even looked at" !! AZ....you have to make telephone calls to DOS and GUZ and make amends with these people......if they detect any anger they will hang-up the telephone quickly. Try being more diplomatic ....you have to swallow your frustration, anger, get down to talking with all the groups involved. I know you have made millions of telephone calls before.....but believe me your Senator, Congressman, DOS, don't care. They all know that the visa game is a game !! You are going to have play their game ....like it or not !! But, as low as this seems...you are going to have to make friends with the people that are making the decisions, and talk with them. Personally, I never waited when they told me to call back in 1 week...I would split the time and I would call them back in 3 days. Talk to them in a non-threatening way and be calm. AZ....you will get the visa's, I understand that the mis-direction and incorrect information is driving you crazy. I worked in the environment of misdirection and deception with the US Government for years....it made me crazy also, now I work in the private field. AZ....You have the power to make things happen, but you have to "FOCUS YOUR ENERGY" on people by talking with them business like, not letters and faxes. AZ...there is hope Take Care To all on Candle.....My wife and her daughter have the visa's in hand. I am not giving anymore information because I think enough has been shared with the group, and now all I am asking is privacy to protect my family. I am not giving their names or dates...sorry !! I wish I could share pictures of ourselves to everyone on Candle and celebrate....but my celebration has been by myself and my wife/daughter. Owen ,Mick, AZ, Anna, PJ, and everyone on Candle .....THANKYOU !!! I have to get my home ready for my family to arrive from China. Strange enough....I have spent so much time and energy on getting the visa , that now I am wondering what I am going to do with my time now...I feel lost. My family will be in the USA in 2-3 weeks now. The Candle Still Burns Bright...Thanks PJ ChrisD

Congratulations Mick !! Glod Bless You and Your Wife on a Wonderful and Happy Life !! Owen thanks for the info. also Anna, Congratulations on your visa for your husband. Angrytexan....Smile !! I have been to Texas before.....Everything is big, even the smile you have on you and your wife's face now !! AZwolf.......stay vigilant and focused...it will happen To All the French People .....french fries are now called "Freedom Fries" in USA now !!! Freedom Fries...Total Bull Hockey !!! God and Budda.....Bless China and America. When I look at my wife I don't see a Chinese women and me an American man........... "I see a woman and man that has given everything to make a happier life together !! A chinese woman and American man met in Saudia Arabia in 2001 and will soon be together again in USA 2003....a long journey !! Take Care Everyone, ChrisD

AZwolfman.....ChrisD here. Yes, your timeline is pretty close to ours. The only advice I can give people on Candle that has worked for me is.......There is conflicting information given out by everyone, there is no logic in how things are processed. I even have a lawyer in Guangzhou that is assisting me, but you have to be more vigilant yourself with contacting and coordinating by "telephone" all the parties involved. I didn't even write letters to Congressman and Government officials...."A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME....They are all talk and no action !! I am not wasting my breath voting for them. Also, I made alot of people angry with me a long time ago to get their attention....but be very careful how you do this. Finally after countless telephone calls to DOS,GZ, INS, in all strange hours of the middle of the night my time....finally after getting everyone crazy they knew that I was not going away....but again caution here.....You can get angry but in a diplomatic way. Eventually everyone will take notice that you are not a GUZ-000 number anymore, but a real person. EMS doesn't even give accurate information about delivery...they always gave false info., and they even delivered the EMS Letter to the wrong address. My wife and I had to ask her neighbors. EMS delivered to the neighbors house not my wife's....but my wife and I cleared that situation up. I now have good business relations with all parties involved now. I took the anger I had and re-directed that anger and transformed it into determination. I had to hide and put away my true feelings of anger.......It made me more determined and focused. When I was angry I lost focus and wrote letters and emails continuously. Letters, emails, and faxes were a total waste of time.....you have to talk with everyone and evenually gain trust and credibility with them. I would work a 14 hour day and later come home and work between 1 AM. til 4 AM. in the morning making telephone calls to China....again my telephone bills were 600 Dollars a month. I have many photos of my wife and daughter taped to my computer monitor, my bed post, and my refrigerator. Everytime I was tired physically/emotionally exhausted....I looked at the photos and it gave me the drive and determination to try ,try,try, try again !!! About 4 times in the 1 1/2 year time my body crashed from exhaustion and was bed ridden for 3 days straight. I was only living off of 4 hours sleep a night for 3 weeks...and then my body would crash. Then after crashing I would get up again and continue on. Do not wait for return telephone calls from anyone (DOS,GUZ, STATE,LAWYERS) .......go after them but be diplomatic about how you plead your case. Again, Stop calling Senators, Congressman ....They are Yes Men, All Talk !! Take care and good luck AZwolfman and everyone on Candle, ChrisD

I lived in Thailand for 5 years 1995-2001....Must go to Chiang mai up north of Bangkok. If you see my ex-fiancee' from Chiang-Mai.....tell her I am still waiting to get my house and motorbike back that oneday she hauled away in a moving truck when I was on on a business trip. Her name is Duangsamorn Payathep or "Mam" (Age 37).....stay away from this women if you meet her...she ruined my life for 2 years after. If you meet a woman and she is beautiful check for an "adams apple on the neck"....most likely a man had a sex-change to become a women. Also, Thai's smile at foreigners/vactioners not because they like you, it is because they want your money !! Stay away from Patpong ...total dive and rip-off. Take care and enjoy your trip to Thailand, Sincerely, Lived in Thailand before

Hey Owen and Mick...Congradulations on getting the visa's....you guys have to be celebrating like crazy. Good news.... My wife received EMS Notice (March 5,) to come to the embassy and will be in Guangzhou this wednesday March 12 to pick-up her K-3 visa and her daughter's K-4 visa. My wife is from the July 2002 interview period. The EMS Pick-up letter from Guangzhou Embassy states for my wife to bring her updated "police Certificate" which she already updated back in Dec. 2002. The question I have for you guys is : After she gives them her police report and pick-up letter she received in EMS....Will she be issued the visas' the "same day" or will she have to come back the "next day" to pick-up the visa's ?? Guys....what has been your personal experiences....did you submit the EMS Notice and had to come back the next day?? Also, my wife is a CR-1/K3 Immigrant Visa ....will she get a sealed envelope in addition to her visa stamped inside her passport or some sort of "printed halographic seal" that is a new tamper proof seal that the US Embassies have been talking about changing to ?? Will she have a visa glued inside her passport or printed in her passport ??? I have not slept all week long because of the excitement of my wife getting the EMS letter and her trip going to guangzhou for pick-up of her and her daughter's visa. I started back in Oct. 2001 with the INS paperwork, her interview in guangzhou July 2002 , cleared name check March 4, 2003 ....Wow, what a loooooooong time. I have not seen my wife and daughters faces for 17 months ( almost 1 1/2 years) ....I have telephoned her everyday from USA to China....my telephone bills have been 600 dollars every month for 1 1/2 years. The anger and fighting with DOS, Guangzhou, INS, and my lawyer in China will never be forgotten, but will fade with time. When my wife and daughter comes to the US this month....I will be crying like a baby when she gets off the airplane. It has been 7 months of waiting since her interview in July 2002 for name clearance to be completed, and finally EMS Notice arrived....now she will be in Guangzhou in 1 more day to pick-up her visa's. Everyday now I don't sleep because of the anticapation of her being in my arms again. We got married in China Oct. 2001 , and now March 2003 finally have a chance to breath....it has been like holding my breath for all this time I have been away from her. My job has kept me away from going back to China for all this time, but now I have hope. I sat in Chick-Fili-A Restaraunt tonight and cried on my chicken sandwich.....this visa has been like walking through fire !!! I bought candles tonight , cannot wait to have a romantic dinner again and go out dancing. I will update you guys and ladies on Candle of the process in the next 4 days. Take Care, ChrisD

Joseph-1 .....Your information on Cable #'s really helped me fill-in the missing information to help my wife and daughters case. DOS originally stated that her name check had cleared in Feb., but after calling GUZ they said "no notes" had been entered into her case history that a Cable was sent to GUZ from DOS/CA stating she had cleared. The cable # was never given to me by DOS; after 6 months waiting for clearance I was happy enough just to get "Yes, clearance completed"......I did not know about "requesting the cable# from DOS"....and DOS never offered me the info. .....You have to be more informed then DOS/GUZ and all the lawyers about the proper proceedures. If you never ask the right questions, then they will not offer any more advice....like you want the cable# ,,,,,,it could help you talking with GUZ. Jesus Mary and Fred.....getting the visa's for my wife and daughter has been a " continous daily fight "..........the computer mess-ups got everyone to be delayed....Thank Bill Gates for his wonderful software !!! Thanks Joseph-1 for the invaluable info., ChrisD The Cable number is looks just like this. State Message # 12345 It is really just a five digit number with no letters preceded by "State Message " And it is not related to the EMS. It is the numeric indentification for a cable transmission from D.O.S. to Guangzhou.

R2D2.....You made me laugh so hard at the cartoons you put on Candle, and the comments you and the other guys comparing Larry/Moe/Curly to the DOS/CA/GUZ. I have been waiting since July 2002 for clearance from DOS on my wife and daughters case K3/K4. I have successfully made contacts on the inside and things are moving as they are saying, but conflicting information is a daily thing for all agencies involved. I used to work government for 15 years....left them 4 years ago. I had a "I can't take this anymore " in my mind....I left that career to more greener pastures in the private business. All the tricks they do now I saw for the 15 years I worked with them. I think it will take them "another 20 years" to get the system working like it should be. I need anwsers from DOS, they say after 7 months of waiting now that they will give me a anwser on Feb. 26....but I cannot get happy because many times I feel these are just words. Everyone who is getting Visas' now CONGRADULATIONS !!! I have hope, but it has been a crazy rollarcoaster ride since I started with INS Oct. 2001 and now Feb. 2003 awaiting clearance from DOS. My marriage to my wife is strong, but my health mental/physical and my wife's health has suffered greatly because of being in a hopeless state of not knowing anwsers. My wife and I will need to rebuild our health again after everything is over. Sometimes I have been so emotionally stressed-out that I throw-up or loss control of my bodily functions while thinking about everything that has happened. I have hope, but man my health has suffered greatly, Again...CONGRADULATIONS EVERYONE GETTING VISA"S NOW Thanks, Chris D B)

You have lost now, but your anger will eat you alive if you don't keep your mind together and think about the future again. I understand fully how you feel, but I had the same situation happen to me about 5 years before...but very diferent outcome. I worked at the American Embassy in Thailand...I am American, she was Thai. My fiancee' and I had been together for 4 1/2 years and thought everything was going well. Before I came how from work one day...she secretly hired s moving truck and clean out the my whole house of all my pesonal belongings that she believe she deserved because she had given me the 5 best years of her life. She took the new motorbike I bought for her, my car, all my things that were mine inside my house ....she even took the stove, new refrigerator that was 6 months old that I bought, the complete stereo/audio and television...value 4 thousand US Dollars. I could not find her and she would call on her cell-phone to me taunting me that she had a secret husband that I did not know about for 3 years....so I was in the same boat as you only more extreme. I got the Thai law involved but they were only interested in extorting money from me and they said since she could not be found I had no case...also all my receipts and documents that I had proven ownership with my signature on them was no enough proof because they did not have her signature next to mine as joint ownership......they keep changing the law to do any non -thai's in. Anyway, I was sitting inside my empty house eatting a McDonalds Big Mac and fries alone and thinking about how she did me in. In all when I totaled everything up I lost 27,000 to 30,000 US Dollars by the whole situation......believe me I was totaled inside emotionally and she made sure she hurt me financially before she skipped town with her secret husband of 3 years. I lost everything, and I was devestated for 5 months....would not even look at another woman or talk to them. I went to her parents home where she lived before, and talked with my fiancee's parents....the house they lived in had new roof, new ceramic floors, new furniture that I bought with my money because I cared for their daughter and really had a good relationship with her family for years. Anyway, her family told me they did not know me anymore !! They asked who I was and they called the Thai Police on me telling them they did not know who I was and I was tresspassing on their house, after all I did for them they refused to acknowledge who I was and the years of dinners we had eatten togther as a family did not exist or ever happened in their minds....but I remembered !!! The best advice I can give is.......this event in my life happened because I was blinded by love and tried to give everthing I had to make her life and her family's life better.....but in the end I really gave away my soul , I know how you feel now. This is the hardest thing you will do.....DO NOT HOLD THE ANGER INSIDE, it will hurt the relationships that you will have in your future !! Subconquessly in your mind you will carry this awlful situation inside yourself and it will hurt your future chances for marriage again. The women you meet now will sense that anger inside you, you will eventually let it go. I have peace inside my soul now and have started another family which was built on trust first. Never look back no matter how much it hurts....your future depends on you getting your head together and stpping the anger inside. I will say a prayer for you. Somtimes one door slams shut and another door to your future opens....but this door will have greater rewards and promise. It is up to you now to decide if you want to open that door or stay lost in time now thinking about what could have been and waste your chance of a greater future with a more loving and trusting wife. Everybody at Candle Loves YOU, Chris Lee

I worked embassy 5 years in Asia....worked on tying computers networks overseas at the US. Embassies with the computers back home in Washington. I have not worked in government or embassy for 4 years now. The computer networks between organizations require manual entry by an operator, also it is a "security issue" having computer networks at the embassies connected "real-time" on a continuous communications all the time with back home. The computers are "stand alone" dumb terminals....the data will over-write any old data and you are looking at false information. I was a network/satellite guy that worked on the communications between government and embassies overseas. I have boiling blood in my veins for the idots that designed the systems....probably right out of college 23 year-old know it alls. I was 20 years in the business but I was a dinosour to them. DOS, Guangzhou, and INS all know the system is sHiT !! Another thing ...the operating systems are not compatible....some Oracle, some Windows, some NT....even if data is sent between the computers the data gets hacked-up and lost. I am angry at all the holidays and home leave for 1 month to come back to the states to see their families, and the careless way they operate is appalling. I want my wife and daughter visa's ....I hate the embassy back then, and my blood still boils now. Thanks, ChrisLee

I want to thank all the people that welcome me to "Candle for Love".... A Big Thankyou !! I found candle about 4 months ago after being on Global7Network.com for 7 months. Candle website is the most informative site I have experienced and I read the listing for 2 hours every night. My wife (chinese) and her 13 year-old daughter have been waiting for K3/K4 since July 2002 because of the security checks with DOS. I call my wife everyday from the USA to China to talk with my wife and daughter. It is amazing ...the more I talk with my wife the better her English gets, truely amazing her vocabulary has increased more than someone who went to college and only learned English from books. My wife and my story are very different from everyone on this site. We met while I was contracted from an American satellite company to work for 3 months in the country of Qatar/United Arab Emirates, she was there on a visa working in the retail clothing business, she was expanding her families clothing business in China to countries in Saudia Arabia. It was 120 degrees in Qatar and the people hated Americans and Chinese to the extent that everyday we were harrassed and every little thing was a problem, but in reality there was never a problem. Dating in a Arab country was impossible if you are not Arab....my wife chinese and I American. We left our jobs and went to China to get married. I have never in my life had a marriage where our Love is So Very Strong and Love Each Other So Deeply.....Chinese women have a heart that is truely sincere. I am extremely lucky that we met in a far away place, the country was so cruel and hostile, but strangely love can be found in the most unusual places on earth. We have been waiting since we started the INS paperwork in Oct. 2001....it has been frustrating , but our visa's will be even more sweet when Guangzhou gets their act together. Again, thanks for your website "Candle", I am a member now and staying. Thanks, ChrisLee/ Maryland USA B)

I am in the July 2002 interveiw group for K3/K4 for my chinese wife and 13 year-old daughter. DOS, Guangzhou, and my lawyer continuously give conflicting information....I need help from this group. Everyone in this forum talks about Andrew Simpkin at CA....what is his telephone number. I need to talk to him to find out if my wife/daughters name check has cleared. My wife successully passed her interview on July 2002. , name check was 1st. submitted Oct. 2002....and the re-submitted Jan. 2003. I need Mr. Simpkins telephone number. I started my wife's paperwork with INS on Oct. 2001....now it is 2003 awaiting security check anwser? DOS help Line is useless, people are rude, hey all we want is our families visa's. My lawyer in China is jerking me around again because he gets unreliable info. from Guangzhou staff. Can someone here email me with Mr. Simpkins telephone number to call. I telephone my wife everyday in China, and mail her packages every 4 months.....it is the only thing that keeps our family together and also keeping us from going insane !! I need help from the Candle forum people. Thankyou, ChrisD/ Baltimore,Maryland