sfarkas103

I was asked what would happen if my wife went back to China to visit and lost her permanent resident card. Also, is it necessary to show it anywhere before you leave (airport, security, etc.)? I searched and saw nothing on either subject. Thanks

I would have to agree with most of the comments; if it isn't 'seriously' broke don't fix it. I suppose I have been lulled into the American method of doing things again....after only a short six months of being back. That is namely to say, psychoanalyze it to death or throw money/pills at the problem. Our private life is superb, we both have decent careers...so in short I'll relax a bit. Thanks for the dose of tonic.

Sorry Frank; when she send emails they seem upbeat, exclamation points and so on (normally in Chinese). I learned a woeful amount of Chinese in 3 years there, but overall I think the talks are good with her folks. She calls home once a week generally. Someone told me that this may be a defense mechanism, but against what I have no idea. She says she genuinely enjoys work, our love life is fine, everyone here (friends/family) have been overly supportive and kind to her.

I myself am very private and have considered that aspect. She really has never been this way prior to our marriage during the 3+ years we were together in China. I was very impressed by the way she didn't "flaunt" me there as I saw many other women do, but she did make it obvious we were together. It's all I can do to get her to hold my hand in public here, where no one even gives a second notice of us. For those of you who have lived & worked in China you are aware that (generally wrongly) westerners are highly regarded. I was a big deal there and I have thought that since coming to the US I am basically a nobody so the allure is gone.

I try not to push the issue but it is starting to concern me. She is anything but idle, she works 40 hours a week at a respected law firm as a legal aide (she has superb English skills). We live in a comfortable home within a 20 minute drive of a metropolitan area, a clean environment, blah-blah. No talk of returning to China, but she spends the bulk of her time watching Chinese movies online or just at the computer on Chinese websites. There are a good many Chinese here in the community, several of whom she works with and others we have met through friends so I doubt there is any homesick issues. I just did not understand that when a friend of hers (post-college) wrote from Beijing and said she gotten married and had a child and asked my wife what was new she mentioned nothing of our marriage or that she was in the USA. I asked her nicely out of curiosity and I got no response. This is/was not an isolated incidence.

We do not speak on the phone or email as she lives here with me in the US. We had a civil "non-event" ceremony in January, mutually agreed upon. As earlier stated we have been together a decent length of time and lived together in China for over a year before coming to the US together.

I would appreciate some guidance here. I met my wife in 2002 in China, she was my student at first and then after she no longer was we dated. We had lived together in China the 14 months leading up to her K-1 visa and are now in the USA (for 6 months). I am concerened as she tells no one we are married, outside of those necessary for her green card (she is now in conditional status). She receives emails from friend's in China asking what's new; no mention of being married or being in the USA. She used to claim it was because she was embarassed being with her former teacher, not a valid excuse to me as most of these emails from friends are pre or post college so they have no idea about our former status as teacher/student. I have asked her about this repeatedly but receive no valid answer, if one at all. Any idea what is going on here? Thank you

Do I need to get a copy (and if so from where) of my wife's lack of a police record for the I-485 interview? Thanks

We have a K-1, arrived in the USA 12/2005. A few questions: We are filling out the I-485 but we don't have an "A" number, 1) should we have an "A" number and if so where is it? 2) Can the medical be done before the marriage takes place (just a week or so before) so we can file right after the marriage, and 3) since a full medical was done in China within the last year can we just get by with the I-693 supplemental? Thanks!

We are going to pick-up plane tickets to the States and the agency here in China says they want a copy of her visa and other information. They say this is a new US Gov. regulation. Anyone heard of this? I know prior to this you just book the ticket and go. Is this request legit??

A quick question for those of you who have done it already; does she need anything other than her visa and passport to leave China? She asked me about does she need to do anything with her "hukou" or anything from PSB (gonganju) to leave here? Will update our case once I know the status myself. Thanks

"Warning signs" do exist, but they may be subtle. I have know women here who gradually increase their questions to the unattached teachers where I work about the type of home the guy has, what his prospects are, and what his opinions are of marrying a Chinese girl. Of course this only helps if you are physically in China. For those who opt to meet someone through the Internet all I can say is, don't. I have spent 3 years in China as a university professor, have known my fiancee for all 3, and have lived together for the past 11 months. You simply have to spend enough physical time with them to really judge their motives. Go through the times when the money gets tight (a rarity here for us, but still does arise during the winter/summer university breaks), illness, daily s**t of life as it exists here, see how jealous she becomes when female students fawn all over you, notice if she changes attitude in public when people stare (and oh how they stare) and see if she has an attitude about being with a foreigner, not a man she loves. I think all couples contemplating marriage should have to be together physically at least a certain length of time, and make the petitioner be present at the interview. Anyway, outrage? Sure. Who's responsible? We are. Chinese culture breeds deceit, it's the way the country runs. Their sensibilities are different, period. To be fair we are no picnic either, and generally "kiss A**" less than the modern Chinese males do. At times early on my SO had commented that "a Chinese boyfriend would do this", well, I am not Chinese and if you want one you are more than free to get one. Through time, patience, and a hell of a lot of face to face discussion we now understand each other.

Congratulations Paul and welcome to Yantai. As I am sure your future in-laws can attest, and as you may know yourself from being here previously, Yantai is a beautiful city and there are quite a few splendid sights to see. My fiancee and I will be here for a few more days before heading to Guangzhou, but if you need anything while in town send me a private mesage and I'll give you my mobile. Congratulations to you both again and good luck!!

We greatly appreciate the responses. Just to be safe we got a larger clear bag to haul the things in. Of course her interview coincides with the 20th anniversary celebration at the university where I teach in Yantai and the arrival of the new freshmen on campus. My mind is spinning like you wouldn't believe......Thanks again for the help.

As we have a lot of papers, files, etc., to bring to the interview we were wondering if you can bring them all in a normal small bag or if the bag she carries in has to be clear (see through) for security reasons. Thanks, and again a hearty congratulations to all of you who have recently received your visas and good luck to those with approaching interviews.