Mick

Like you, Owen, we are stuck in EMS limbo land in terms of delivery. Just as at your school, all foreign devil mail goes through the FAO Office. They don't open it here either. The problem is that the FAO office will be closed for "an undetermined period of time" during the holiday period but "at least for ten days". The FAO, aware of our situation, has agreed to handle the situation by "placing a note on the door asking the EMS person to deliver it directly to our building". On our campus each building is assigned a number but none of the buildings have numbers on them. To complicate matters further, the apartments in the buildings do not have numbers either. Having lived over here as long as you have, can you see the potential for disaster in this scenario? We have decided that Li will travel home for the holiday. She will go visit her brother up in Jiangsu Province who just became the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy! I, the lonely foreign devil, will remain here to man the battlements just in case the EMS somehow, by miracle, arrives. I don't hold out too much hope as we have yet to receive any confirmed word as to when our case was resubmitted. Also, due to reasons cited above, if it ever is cleared during this holiday period, its journey to our doorstep is wrought with peril. Li is scheduled to return around February 4. If the FAO is back in the office after the "undetermined length of time", we may then take a short trip, which will include a brief stop at Wally World...er...I mean GZ. May go on over to Zhaoqing, a scenic area about two hours west of GZ. Seriously, I don't think some of the readers are aware of the hazards of mail delivery over here. Granted, they do a pretty good job most of the time but I have not received many items sent to me. This is in part due to the fact that on university campuses parcels have to go through so many hands before reaching their destination. At any rate, I'll be a lone camper for the holiday. Of course, I can always go downtown and celebrate. I have many students who are locals.

Owen: Yes my noble Knight, it is best to put the steel to the flint. I really don't like what I am seeing in some of these threads. While I am, of course, elated for those who have been cleared, there appears to be the usual lack of rhyme or reason to the process. Further, it galls me to no end that GZ keeps giving us these dates, then not meeting them. I do wonder if DOS (Tweedledee) really comprehends deeply what they are dealing with when they give directives to GZ (Tweedledum). It is hard to fix blame on either party, though I lean more in the direction of GZ, having dealt with them up close and personal for so long. But then, DOS is probably equally culpable. So all in all, I am just pissed at both. I fired off another e-mail to GZ (the third one) asking when the last resubmission date was. They did not answer the question in the first and have failed to respond to the second at all. I feel a six hour bus ride creeping up. My fear is, however, that even showing up in person will get me little in terms of actual results. I have been there often enough already. I grow restless my Knight Errant and so does my horse. I may need that Yosemite Sam yet!!!

Thanks for the info Doggie! In regards to my above post in this thread, now we have at least three examples that GZ is still resubmitting cases beyond the 4th..er..10th...er...13th...er...14th!!! And the beat goes on.....

What concerns me in the transcript of the response are the following words: "On January 4 GZ will begin...". We should all know by now that what GZ "begins" is often and endless process with no definable conclusion. To illustrate this point, I offer the following two examples. In a post several days ago, one member mentioned that, in a response from Mr. Adams, that all resubmits would be completed by January 10. Then, in a post yesterday, some one was told that his fiancees "eagle" would be sumitted on the 13th. Does anyone detect a pattern here? Don't mean to be so negative here, but I have danced to this song for seventeen months now and for five months since the interview. I fear there is something still rotten in Denmark.

And just what the hell does "hands off" mean? Is this technical jargon for doing nothing until after the holiday?

Correction: I meant "hear" not "here". My God, I've been over here (hear) too long.

Eric: I have seen this before but it is even funnier second time around. I actually rehearsed and did a short skit of this with a couple of my English major students. It was slow going at first, but once they got the hang of it, and understood the humor, we were all in hysterics. You should here some of the mispronuciations of Arafat in Chinglish. Often the "r" became an "l". It was quite a hoot. BTW, glad to see you are in better spirits. It's morning over here, so that means it must be evening over there on the plains, right? And also by the way, where in Florida are you from?

Owen: As someone stated, your description was most vivid. I can imagine the frustration you feel. You, perhaps more than most, have worked diligently to get at the bottom of the causes of this morass we all find ourselves in. Sometimes, I feel as if I am caught in a slowly sinking bog of quicksand. And I can also understand how frustrated your wife must be. She expects things from our government, just as we do, and our government doesn't deliver. In my view, this whole mess is inexcusable from the get go. My big fear, as mentioned in yesterdays post, is that things will slowly grind to a halt at New Years. I think your wife, too, must sense this. I think the situation is further complicated by a cultural issue, namely, the Chinese are used to using guanxi. If you know the right people, you can fix anything. I think it may be difficult for her to understand why you can't just call the right person and "fix it". I am sure you are well aware of all this but just thought I would say it anyway. You have been most helpful to me in both posts and on the phone. If you need to vent, just give me a call, or, if you like, maybe I'll call you. I think I have your number stored in a PM. I feel for you right now, especially you. If things drag out much longer, especially beyond this supposed "two week window", I think I may need your help changing my avatar to Yosemite Sam! Please, stay in touch my friend.

P.J. This is wonderful news indeed! If anyone deserves it, you do. Does this mean that, at last, you will share with us the story about your pillowcases? (I have the memory of an elephant).

Great News! And congratulations! Keep those August babies coming.

Eric: Hopefully, when you read this, it is morning and you are feeling better and your top-ten humor is reawakening. Seriously, I know its a bummer. We were not far behind you on 8/20. I wish you a safe journey and may the wind be at your back. If the visa comes while you are away, you'll find out for sure and just trust that the logistics of the matter will work out for the best. Keep posting. I, for one, would sorely miss your special brand of humor. And who would be left to run the sprint after Jim, the ten-thingie man.

A big warm, heart-felt congrats to both you and your beloved. I wish you all the best that life together has to offer. I, as a member of the August Black Hole, also recognize that there is no rhyme nor reason to how GZ does things. But that does not dampen my happiness for both of you. Keep us posted as to how things are going with the preparation, the trip, the wedding (what was that about Elvis?) And, of course, your processing through the initial maze of AOS. Again, great news Brian!

What the hell happened to this thread while I was taking my afternoon nap? (Yawn). Eric? Gay? Not a chance!!!!! I'm going back to sleep. As Popeye would say: "I needs me beauty resk...cuh cuh cuh cuh cuh".

Eric: You're not from Kansas? Wicheta, Florida? "Auntie Em...Auntie Em...Toto....Help" Seriously my friend, keep those top tens coming! We all love them. At least I know I do. Where are you from in Florida? I grew up in Venice, on the southwest coast but lived the last fifteen years Stateside in Miami, which isn't exactly Florida anymore.

Bob Dole! I need info on his sense of humor. Where does he hide it? Is it that subtle? Help!

Bob Dole! Bob Dole Sense of humor? I know you guys are from Kansas and probably see something I don't. Of course, I shouldn't talk. I am from Florida, land of sunshine, Jeb Bush, and the dangling chad. Bob Dole? Sense of humor. B) System overload; Does not compute.

Down here lunch is usually 11:30-2:30. Tropics you know! Heat factor is taken in to account. Need longer nap.

Oh you are so correct my friend! Without a doubt they would disavow any knowledge of said bill faster than the guy on the self-destructing tape used to disavow any knowledge of Mr. Phelps and his IM Force. In fact, I don't blame the merchants for being reluctant to touch them, especially down in this neck of the woods. It will be interesting to see if this large denomination bills catch on or not. I am still waiting to see if, and how popular, credit cards will become. I don't mean the debit cards they now have. I mean the real interest bearing kind we have in the States. Any thoughts?

A big congrats to you and your beloved Taoistpanda!!!! Keep us posted, ok?

My two jiao's worth. Stay as far away from the black market as you can. It just isn't worth it. The chance of being ripped off is significant or, worse still, being caught in some sort of reverse, corrupt sting operation like the one Owen alluded to. Someone actually tried to pull this on me once in Hefei. I refused to participate. A little later, I saw the same huckster along with two cops and a "captured" Frenchman. It's tragic really. As for counterfeiting, I live in Shantou, the counterfeit captial of China. You have to really check out every bill you get, all the way down to five yuan. BTW Owen, they now have a new 1000RMB note. The university paid my last salary using it. I took them forthwith to the bank who examined them as if they were coated with anthrax spores before accepting them for deposit. Most merchants, as of yet, won't accept them as they are unfamiliar with them and fear they are fakes.

I would like to remind everyone that two weeks from now puts us right on the cusp of the Chinese New Year, February 1 this year. Everything starts slowing down at least a week ahead of time and takes several weeks to get back up to speed. Don't know yet what the Consulate's actual New Years schedule will be. But be forwarned, even if they are only closed for a few days, things will move at a snails pace for awhile. The New Years celebration, also known over here as "Spring Festival", is the highlight of the year and lasts a full fifteen days. Of course, the Consulate will not be closed all of that time, but in the staff's collective mind, it is still a "holiday". I don't say this to discourage anyone. But I think we should be prepared for a slow down. It just goes with the territory over here. Everything, except the busses , slows down. I know from last year that the Consulate shifts into Tai Chi mode.

Gadzooks Batman! I think you're right Owen. Could be trouble in Gotham (GZ) again. I sent them an e-mail ten days ago, asking for info about resubmission. As of yet, no reply. Hopefully we don't have to, as you recently put it, storm the ramparts. Just in case, keep your lance ready and your sword unsheathed.

Owen: Our campus is located in a beautiful countryside setting, about ten miles from downtown Shantou. There used to be a small row of restaurants on campus, referred to by the students as "Economic Row", as the prices were fairly cheap. About a year ago, the campus authorities, under pressure from the various "official" student canteen owners, demolished the row of buildings and ordered these enterprising business owners off campus. Fast forward to chapter two: Just outside the east gate of the campus sits a small temple with an attached monastary. It is really a tranquil place, nestled up near the food of a small crag with trees, ponds, and a beautiful but small garden. Well, one of the former restuarant owners got the bright idea to set up shop just outside the gate of the university and out of the reach of the authorities. Having done so, he developed a thriving student business. In short order, the other former owners from "Economic Row" followed suit. New building went up, including a three story job that I saw go from nothing to open in three months time. The concept spread like wildfire. Now there are ten eateries there, one even operated by students from the Business school. They have surrounded the monks like wolves around a crippled elk. So much for the peace and serenity. Not to be outdone, the monks themselves have entered the fray. They set up a row of outdoor grills serving up low cost fair including corn, fried breads, and every kind of meat you can imagine (vegetarians you know) And yes, they have cell phones, Rolexes (not the real ones) and smoke Marlboros like Telly Savales. In fact, one of them bears a striking resemblence to Kojak! Except for the orange robes, you expect him to walk up at any moment and utter, "OK Crocker, where's the stiff?" Janis would be proud of these boys no doubt. I guess, in addition to the teachings of Buddha, they follow the teachings of Mao Zedong who once wrote: "When the wind is raging, it's time to build windmills, not windbreaks". What was it Dylan sang about? "And the times, they are a'changin..."

Kudos to you LaoMao! Sara has been a breath of fresh air on a sea of uncertainty and despair. Ditto Ms. Kabal. Thank you too Owen!

Jim: Well said! Insensitivity transcends gender.