James1

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts. Telling people they can get denied because they're not already married is scare-mongering, and among the worst advice I've seen on this forum. Yes - it's a difference of opinion. I prefer presenting FACTS, and letting them decide. We seem to be pushing CR-1's over K-1's, and over-emphasizing the cost of the visa. Travel costs MONEY, a CR-1 will, in my estimation, involve at least one more trip than a K-1. Personal circumstances should determine THEIR choice - the poster in question seems to be well down the path with his. I would also have to agree with Randy. I don't know what is the best way, however my wife and I used a K1 and she was here in six months with only one trip to China on my part. I did a lot of reading before we ever met and it seemed that CR-1 took more time on average. The logic seems to me to be that when you are already married you have more to prove that it is a real relationship. Whereas a K1 is based on you are still getting to know each other with the possibility that after she or he comes to the US that you could decide that you do not want to get married and then they would go back to China. Therefore you have less to prove of the relationship.

Ying's son has a job. I don't know what he makes, but when we first met he was graduating as a building engineer.

Yes

This raises another 'cultural' issue for some; that he chinese lady more often is the one who has charge and oversight of ALL the money in the marriage. That she has no control over the money is a big shock to some. And IMO, it isn't a small shift but can be a serious psychological and emotional shift. I have tried to get her more involved in our finances, bur she says she doesn't understand American ways enough yet. I am still working in getting her more involved. I keep up with all the regular bills, but anything outside of I don't do unless we discuss it. As for the other I just have a hard time with the idea of giving money to her son, when I will not do it for my two. It doesn't seem right to me, I don't feel I should do for one what I will not do for another. Her argument is they are in American and they don't need the help like he does in China. I don't mind helping him a little, but paying for all is another thing!

What are the marriage customs in china? Are the parents expected to buy the children¡¯s house? My wife says her son borrowed money from one of her friends to buy a house for him and his fianc¨¦e, and wants us to start sending money to him to pay it back. She says I don¡¯t understand Chinese custom. She is 49 and I am 55. I have tried to tell her that we need to get better prepared for when we are to old to work. We have been married for almost 3 yrs now, and in almost everything else it is a good marriage. But this issue is really casing a rift between us. It seems to be a matter of ¡°Face¡± to her. She says I just don¡¯t understand and her English is not good enough to explain it to me. I am looking for others insight, and has anyone else faced this kind of issue?

My wife ismy 4th wife. I was in the process of getting divorced when I met Ying. We appliedfor a Fianc¨¦ Visa right after my divorce was final and it only took 6 monthsbefore she was here. Which from everything I have seen is about as quick as youcan get. However in my evidence that I sent in with our application was proofthat my 3rd wife and I had been separated and living apart for over4 years when I applied for divorce. My point is being married many times willnot stop you, but how you present yourself and your evidence will make a bigdifference. From everything I have seen when you apply you have to payattention to every detail and think whether it makes reasonable sense or not. Ifit does not sound good to you, it will not sound good to Guangzhou.

Venting here will not hurt, and it always helps to get your feelings out. As long as you do not vent to the Govt.. That can only hurt you. As for time frames. people always look at how long it takes someone else. But it does not always seem to correlate to me. You just have to keep working at the process until you win!

I purchased our rings while Ying was still in China, Sent her the engagement ring. She wore it everyday until she realized what it cost(not really that much to me). Then she would not wear it at all until we were together for fear she would lose it are someone would steal it from her. Now in the US she still does not wear them when she is working, only when we go out. She says she is afraid of losing them. I don't care, her actions tell me she is committed to me, that's all I really care about.

One hour overtime!

Congratulations!

I would agree that the judge has a right to his opinions, but as has been stated as a judge it is his job to follow the law and enforce it. He is not supposed to let his opinions and feelings be part of that. He is right in saying that there are those on both sides that do not believe in mixed marriages. And they have a right to have those opinions as long as they don't try to force others to go by them also. There are different kinds of racism. A distinction that the media never seems to make. There are some that as the judge said don't believe in mixing races, but they don't hate other races. My grandfather was like this. And even if I don't agree with it that is their right. Then there are those that hate other races and promote violence to them, those are the ones that should not be tolerated. As was said over two hundred years ago, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"

Yes I do believe the airport is the hardest part. I couldn't look back, I would have broken down if I had!

Yes I do believe the airport is the hardest part. I couldn't look back, I would have broken down if I had!

My wife also has wanted to pick mushrooms and other wild berries when we are out walking. It is about as close as we have come to having a fight with her. She could not believe that we could die from the wrong ones. I believe I finally got her to understand, or she just stopped to please me. We normally do not argue about anything. But I am going to get her to read this thread with me.

Yes it is, I have noticed the difference in timelines many times. I think part of it is paying attention to details, part is your individual circumstances, and part is just luck. Ying and I both were very detailed. Ying had a good job for over 20 years in China, I had a good job here, I have lived in the same place for many years, and we were lucky! Looking at your time line you two met for the first time, got engaged, filed, were in the US and got married about 1 year before my fiancee got the second GUZ interview. We had a blue slip that took 6 extra months, but the entire process was 1.5 years long. It is pretty amazing the difference in speed between our two experiences.