Cross-border Marriages

[Randy W]

For Vietnamese brides, cross-border marriages are like a lucky draw: some good, some not.

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A Vietnamese Bride’s Chinese Dream
For Vietnamese brides, cross-border marriages are like a lucky draw: some good, some not.

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My given name is Phuong. I’m 30 years old and come from Vietnam. I married a man in China five years ago and we have a son and daughter together.

I’m just an ordinary woman in a mixed-nationality marriage, but when I’m referred to as a “Vietnamese bride,” it implies that I am different from other foreign women who marry Chinese men and live in China.

 . . .

In 2018, I went home for Lunar New Year. When visiting family, I heard about a cousin who had married a man in China. She often posted pictures and videos, went traveling all over, and even started a business selling Vietnamese clothes.

One day, the cousin’s mother came to our house and asked if I would consider marrying a Chinese man. She said she would find me a decent home, at least as good as her daughter’s. I agreed — not because I wanted to marry into a good family, I just wanted to get away.

After Lunar New Year, I quit my factory job. I collected my final paycheck and used the money to get a passport. I then flew from Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi, accompanied by my “arranger,” the cousin who had already married. Then we took a bus to the northern border province of Lang Son from where we crossed into China’s Guangxi province.

 . . .

Only after looking at a map later did I realize that we had driven across half of China. Our destination was Jian’ou City, in the southeastern Fujian province — 1,800 kilometers away. My cousin took me to her house to rest for the night and the next day, we went to meet potential suitors.

When I say meet, it was more a case of seeing whoever had offered the highest bride price, since the “arranger” took 30%. The first family was willing to pay 130,000 yuan and had built a new three-story house. The groom, however, was mute.

The next family offered 100,000 yuan and had a two-story brick house. The suitor was in good physical shape, had a junior high school diploma, was five years older than me, and looked to be freshly shaven.

The first time I saw him, I felt nothing; my only concern was the bride price. After weighing it up, I decided to marry him. I really love to talk, and though I couldn’t speak Chinese, the thought of a future with someone mute seemed a fate worse than death.