Silly moments to share?

[warpedbored]

I stand corrected.

http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/blog/english-mistakes/i-vs-me/

 

If you are not good with grammar concepts like subject and objects, there is still a very easy way to decide whether to use I or me: try out the sentence with just I or me (or if you need a plural, we or us – "we" is equivalent to "I" and "us" is equivalent to "me."):

He told Tom and (I or me?) to get ready.

He told I to get ready? NO

He told me to get ready? YES

Therefore,

He told Tom and me to get ready.

If John and (I or me?) get married, we’ll have two kids.

If me get married? NO

If I get married? YES

Therefore,

If John and I get married, we’ll have two kids.

Just between you and (I or me?), this is a bad idea.

Because "between" needs to be followed by a plural, we’ll use "we" and "

us

" to figure this out.

Just between we? NO

Just between

us

? YES

Just between you and me, this is a bad idea.

And whatever you do, please don’t use a subject pronoun and object pronoun together!

He and I – correct: "He and I are going to town."

Him and me – correct: "She told him and me the truth."

Him and I – WRONG

He and me – WRONG

 

Catherine I vaguely remember the old man you are referring to. It was about 8-10 years ago. As I recall he was 80 something and his fiance was in her 20s. I don't believe his petition was ever approved.

t

[Joecy]

Catherine, I enjoyed reading your stories, the Walmart one was really funny! I didn't know the size of the toilet is different! I can also tell you are working hard to improvement English!( I do the same. I think Learning English is a life long journey.) In fact, I found your writing very entertaining. That's not easy to achieve even for native speakers (Hope I am not offending the gentlemen here) .

 

Plase keep your eyes and heart fresh and don't stop writing!

[Joecy]

Here's mine culture shock:

 

I was at a corner coffee store waiting for an unofficial interview. I was in the US for 6 month; I had not been to a coffee store by my self; I hated buying any thing cause I didn't understand the cashier and I couldn't figure out the US coins. I was also nervous and very excited at the same time.

 

My interviewer came. She and I walked to the register to order. I could hear my heart pouncing. The girl asked me what did I want. I looked at the blackboard but nothing registered in my head.

" Just coffee" .

"What size? A shot"?( This is not Starbucks)

"How much is one shot?" I am glad I caught this word.

"This much", the girl gestured with 2 fingers.

"That's not even 1/3 of a cup!" I thought.

"I want three shots". I was happy that I got the right amount to fill up a cup.

The girl looked at me, disbelieved, but she didn't say anything.

 

I was talking high during the interview, and my heart beat like crazy. I thought that's a good sign that the conversation was exciting.

 

After that, I rode bike home like wind. My husband asked me how was it. I told him everything was great, except my heart was about to jump out of my chest!

 

Well, I didn't get any job but I did learn never order 3 shots of espresso in one time!

Edited June 6, 2014 by Joecy (see edit history)

[warpedbored]

Great story Joecy,. thanks for sharing.

[Catherineli]

Hello Joecy! Nice to see you Carl!! I must admit that my English skill is not growing in a balanced way. I even did not know Joecy is a girl's name until I read your post "my husband asked how was it" Now I'm very much thrilled with your coming in. I finally have a girl from China who shares same experiences with me!! The size of the bathroom toilets varies some, I noticed. I guess I picked a toilet for disabled people because I still don't think I am not that short. I'm 1:60 cm with shoes on, very much average. But it's a truth that my legs dangling there above the floor. lol, I found some friend's home toilet is also very tall for me.

I have more culture shock moments:

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

Joecy, I am new to America. I can never follow other people's post because I don't understand what they are saying. Again here I don't understand what you mean by saying " three shots of espresso". What does "shot" mean? There were many times that I didn't know what I was eating or drinking in America. Is espresso a brand of drinks?

Thank for coming to share. Hope to see you again!

[Mick]

When my wife and I were teaching at a large university in Guangdong Province, there were times when my students, in an attempt to expand their vocabulary, would wind up using the wrong word. The following took place our second year at STU:

 

I had just finished teaching a Journalism class and was on my way to our apartment when about five or six of my English major students, all males, came running up to me excited and out of breath. I noticed they were all punching in words in their electronic dictionaries, so I guess they were looking for how to say something.

 

"What's up, fellas?" I asked.

 

"Dr. Turner, how would you like to come with us to an orgy tonight?" they asked.

 

Somewhat taken aback, I asked them, "What did you say?"

 

"We are having a big orgy tonight and we want to invite you?"

 

"Where is this orgy taking place?"

 

"On the grass in front of the girls dorm."

 

"Should I bring my wife?"

 

"Of course, but there are going to be lots of girls there."

 

"So let me get this straight," I said. "You are inviting me and my wife to a big orgy that is going to be held in front of the girls dorm tonight. Is that right?"

 

"Yes, that's right."

 

I just cracked up. I knew what had happened. They were inviting me to a party, but they had punched in "party" in their dictionary, seeking a synonym in an effort to show me how they had expanded their vocabulary. You can imagine how red-faced they became when I tactfully explained to them what an orgy was.

[Thomas Promise]

I hope some of my answers can ease your trials and tribulations. This is a new areana for you now. Look at your new journey as the great explorers did in the 1500s. One hell of an adventure. Its not going to be boring.

Old Chinese proverb: “Experience is a comb which is given to you when you are going bald.”

Good luck.

 

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

 

If you wish to have hot water with your meal order hot tea. They will charge you for it but don't use the tea bag. They are charging you for the tea bag not the hot water. In America we sell the sizzle not the steak.

 

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

 

Cash back is a sales tool that helps the merchant build customer loyalty. It provides you an immediate or future discount on goods and services you need and want. It gives you/me the sense of getting a good deal. Remember a good deal is a state of mind.

 

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

I don't really understand this last question. Sorry.

Edited June 8, 2014 by Thomas Promise (see edit history)

[credzba]

I hope some of my answers can ease your trials and tribulations. This is a new areana for you now. Look at your new journey as the great explorers did in the 1500s. One hell of an adventure. Its not going to be boring.

Old Chinese proverb: “Experience is a comb which is given to you when you are going bald.”

Good luck.

 

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

 

If you wish to have hot water with your meal order hot tea. They will charge you for it but don't use the tea bag. They are charging you for the tea bag not the hot water. In America we sell the sizzle not the steak.

 

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

 

Cash back is a sales tool that helps the merchant build customer loyalty. It provides you an immediate or future discount on goods and services you need and want. It gives you/me the sense of getting a good deal. Remember a good deal is a state of mind.

 

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

I don't really understand this last question. Sorry.

 

I think #2 "Cash Back" is referring to when you pay with an ATM debit card. There is an option to withdraw money from your account in excess of the purchase price, and receive the difference in the form of "cash back". Just as if you pay for a 5$ purchase with a 20$ bill, you receive cash back. With an ATM debit purchase you can receive as much back as you wish.

 

#3 You CAN (usually) mail a letter from your own postage box. If your mail box has a metal flag on the side, this is used to tell the mail man you have outgoing mail.

If you put a stamped letter into your mail box, and raise the flag, the mail man will collect the letter next time he comes by, and lower the flag.

The dis-advantage to this is it could add a day to the mail time, because the mailman may not come by your box until 1 day later.

 

This can get more complicated as some places have community mailboxes, and those have a special slot for outgoing mail.

I am certain there are other mail situations, but most have some way to send mail as well as receive mail.

[tsap seui]

Hello Joecy! Nice to see you Carl!! I must admit that my English skill is not growing in a balanced way. I even did not know Joecy is a girl's name until I read your post "my husband asked how was it" Now I'm very much thrilled with your coming in. I finally have a girl from China who shares same experiences with me!! The size of the bathroom toilets varies some, I noticed. I guess I picked a toilet for disabled people because I still don't think I am not that short. I'm 1:60 cm with shoes on, very much average. But it's a truth that my legs dangling there above the floor. lol, I found some friend's home toilet is also very tall for me.

I have more culture shock moments:

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

Joecy, I am new to America. I can never follow other people's post because I don't understand what they are saying. Again here I don't understand what you mean by saying " three shots of espresso". What does "shot" mean? There were many times that I didn't know what I was eating or drinking in America. Is espresso a brand of drinks?

Thank for coming to share. Hope to see you again!

 

 

I'm not a coffee drinker but I'll try and make sense of "shot" and "espresso" for you.

 

A "shot" when used to define an amount of espresso or say an alcoholic drink is often shown to be an amount equal to two fingers side by side. When the waitress showed Joecy how much one shot was, she used two fingers side by side to show her. Joecy thought that only was enough to fill 1/3rd of her cup so she asked for 3 shots.

 

Espresso is some form of concentrated coffee (I am guessing), and is added to a cup of regular coffee to give it a caffeine boost that some coffee drinkers seek. Three shots would be six fingers of espresso in this case....added to a cup of regular coffee. Again, Im guessing about this coffee and espresso stuff. I'm not much of a Starbucks sorta guy.

[Catherineli]

Hello, Cedzba, Tom, Mick, Ronny, nice to see this topic picked up again! I just came back from teaching. Today it's split hours. I'll go back to school soon. Thank you for sharing so much valuable information that I need. I must study your posts again after I come back this afternoon. For years I like to collect language mistakes from different background for memory or just for fun. Mick's orgy party comes to my collections now, so laughing----- Here is my paste that I like to share with you guys. Joecy, where are you?

Let’s Laugh
People say living with multiple cultures is very uncomfortable for various reasons. Indeed, many experience culture shock from so bizarre cultural differences, foreign faces and places. Even a completely different climate and weather can be very stressful. Some people say that communication is one of the hardest transitions to make. However, life’s a two-sided coin, so for every difficult experience, the flip side can be rewarding. Imperfection is very human and to strive for it is a mockery of God. Therefore, I feel imperfection is one of the most beautiful parts of our daily living without which life would be very boring.
I’ve been living in divergent lifestyles for many years during which I went through some challenges in languages and in various customs. Nonetheless, these challenges, in my eyes, are my most happy moments because I can learn more and know more through the disparities. Most importantly, the miscommunications bring us many laughable memories.
Once a British gentleman was introducing his wife in Chinese to a Chinese person who knew very little English. “This is my qiezi”, with that, the Chinese man looked amuse or puzzled because “qiezi” means eggplant while qizi is wife. I’m glad that his wife was not short, stout and purple-skinned.
Chinese four tones make many foreigners headache. There was another time that the same British man was asking people for directions on the street. He asked very respectfully to a stranger in Chinese, “Can I ask you a way?” Unfortunately he pronounced the word “wen” in the third tone, which indicates “kiss”. He should have spoken “wen” in the fourth tone to mean “ask”. But who knows if he knew it and was pretending to be silly?
My American lady friend Kay once had a funny experience when she was taking a taxi in China. She introduced herself to the driver in Chinese as “I’m laoshu” meaning she was a Laoshi by profession. All Chinese know Laoshu is a rat and Laoshi denotes a teacher. I’m glad Kay was not a politician or she would have been a professional Laoshu.
I cannot help laughing at my own mistakes when it comes to English. In 2004, I was helping an American lady friend Barb who was in need of a wooden pin to roll her dough. Strangely enough my ears directed my feet taking her to a PEN counter. I told her, “here is your pin.” Now you can imagine that she didn’t roll any dough, instead, she rolled her eyes!!
Some mistakes can be very embarrassing. In 2005, I was passing by a “beauty salon” with an English speaker. I told my companion that I needed to trim my bra meaning to trim my brow, my eyebrow.
Language mistakes also occur to the Internet chatting.
A friend was watching her husband playing the piano while boasting her husband’s performance to me. All of sudden, she changed the chatting topic telling me that her dog is sneezing. Here is our dialogue,
“Echinacea works for him,” said the lady triumphantly.
“Is Echinacea your husband’s piano assistant?” I was trying to find out the definition of Echinacea.
Echinace is a plant to help with people or animal’s sneezing.
Last month I was helping an African male friend at a pharmacy who needed some medicine to kill worms in his body. Because of his strong accent, I misunderstood him saying “to kill his womb”.
Chatting with my teacher is another laughing matter. Weeks ago I was asking her to edify a poem I wrote in English. She directed me to “click a return” on the keyboard to move a word to the next line. Well, me or I, a Chinese woman who was learning like a parrot obediently typed the word “return” next to the word where it should be moved to the next line.
An American friend, lately, shared an announcement from his Chinese students who were pleaseing him by showing off their new word to him. He was informed of an “orgy” party that he was invited to take part in, right on the lawn in front of girl dormitory on the school campus. Hearing this warm invitation, any native speaker would open his mouth as large as an ostrich egg!
We must wind up cracking too much in case gasping is in the way. Now let me draw the laughing to the end with Robert Louis Stevenson’s quotation, “To travel hopefully is a better than to arrive, and the true success is to labor.”

 

[Catherineli]

Now I see, it's very easy to mail out a street letter by lifting up the red flag. Three shots means too much as a coffee boost. They will not let Joecy sleep for at least three days, I bet. lol

[Mick]

Another language mistake, involving the use of tones in Chinese, got me in some hot water back when I was living in China. I have mentioned this before on the board here, so I will give the brief version. There is a Chinese chili sauce that I love, called "Lao Gan Ma." I put it on everything except ice cream. Great stuff. Lao Gan Ma is literally translated as "Old Dry Mother" and it has a picture of the old mother on the label. Anyway, I had ran out and I decided my Chinese was good enough for me to go to buy some at a little market just outside the campus. I went in the store but couldn't find it. So I went to the counter and asked the little old man there where they kept the Lao Gan Ma. His eyes got real big, then he started yelling at me and chased me out of the store with a stick. Freaked out, I went back to my apartment and told my wife what happened. She asked me what I had said and I told her. She literally had to pick herself up off the floor laughing. I had screwed up the tones something awful and basically only got Lao right. "Gan" evidently is also a kind of bad word if said with the wrong tone, and Ma is also horse. My wife explained that I had basically called the guy something like "Old Man who has sex with horses."

[Joecy]

Hello Joecy! Nice to see you Carl!! I must admit that my English skill is not growing in a balanced way. I even did not know Joecy is a girl's name until I read your post "my husband asked how was it" Now I'm very much thrilled with your coming in. I finally have a girl from China who shares same experiences with me!! The size of the bathroom toilets varies some, I noticed. I guess I picked a toilet for disabled people because I still don't think I am not that short. I'm 1:60 cm with shoes on, very much average. But it's a truth that my legs dangling there above the floor. lol, I found some friend's home toilet is also very tall for me.

I have more culture shock moments:

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

Joecy, I am new to America. I can never follow other people's post because I don't understand what they are saying. Again here I don't understand what you mean by saying " three shots of espresso". What does "shot" mean? There were many times that I didn't know what I was eating or drinking in America. Is espresso a brand of drinks?

Thank for coming to share. Hope to see you again!

 

Hi Catherine, nice to meet you too! I'm so glad you started this topics, I went through the same shocks too!

 

When I first order hot water in an American restaurant, they stared at me as if they didn't understand my language. 2nd time I ordered Hot Water at a Chinese restaurant, I was full of confidence the waitress knew what I was talking about. When she passed me a plastic container filled with grease hot water, I was completely shocked. Why, why plastic container???

 

Sorry that I didn't explain the "shot" earlier. Lucky we have a lot helpful guys here

[Joecy]

 

I hope some of my answers can ease your trials and tribulations. This is a new areana for you now. Look at your new journey as the great explorers did in the 1500s. One hell of an adventure. Its not going to be boring.

Old Chinese proverb: “Experience is a comb which is given to you when you are going bald.”

Good luck.

 

(1) I can't stand the ice in any drinks. So I asked a cup of warm water at a restaurant but given a cold one. I was surprised. Then I was told they didn't put ice in my cup which meant it was warm. Later I had to explain that I needed hot water with hot vapor uprising above the cup. This time I shocked the waiter who asked me promptly, "Why? What for?"

 

If you wish to have hot water with your meal order hot tea. They will charge you for it but don't use the tea bag. They are charging you for the tea bag not the hot water. In America we sell the sizzle not the steak.

 

(2) I didn't understand, "Cash back" at the counter of a store, I was told to say no for the first time, so from then on I went to bank for cash.

 

Cash back is a sales tool that helps the merchant build customer loyalty. It provides you an immediate or future discount on goods and services you need and want. It gives you/me the sense of getting a good deal. Remember a good deal is a state of mind.

 

(3) I went to postoffice to mail a birthday card for my friend while my postbox was right standing in front of my gate.

 

I don't really understand this last question. Sorry.

 

The dis-advantage to this is it could add a day to the mail time, because the mailman may not come by your box until 1 day later.

 

 

good point!

[Joecy]

When my wife and I were teaching at a large university in Guangdong Province, there were times when my students, in an attempt to expand their vocabulary, would wind up using the wrong word. The following took place our second year at STU:

 

I had just finished teaching a Journalism class and was on my way to our apartment when about five or six of my English major students, all males, came running up to me excited and out of breath. I noticed they were all punching in words in their electronic dictionaries, so I guess they were looking for how to say something.

 

"What's up, fellas?" I asked.

 

"Dr. Turner, how would you like to come with us to an orgy tonight?" they asked.

 

Somewhat taken aback, I asked them, "What did you say?"

 

"We are having a big orgy tonight and we want to invite you?"

 

"Where is this orgy taking place?"

 

"On the grass in front of the girls dorm."

 

"Should I bring my wife?"

 

"Of course, but there are going to be lots of girls there."

 

"So let me get this straight," I said. "You are inviting me and my wife to a big orgy that is going to be held in front of the girls dorm tonight. Is that right?"

 

"Yes, that's right."

 

I just cracked up. I knew what had happened. They were inviting me to a party, but they had punched in "party" in their dictionary, seeking a synonym in an effort to show me how they had expanded their vocabulary. You can imagine how red-faced they became when I tactfully explained to them what an orgy was.

This is hilarious!!!!!! Funny the party actually was arranged at that place.

Hi Mick, did you(are you still) teach the journalist student in Guangdong in English? I wonder how well the student would translate and incorporate into Chinese.

A little tricky to tackle the journalism freedom in China