Differences Between a Girl and a Woman from an Asian Woman

[Randy W]

I ran into this article on Huffington Post, and couldn't help but think back to some of our discussions on "Sa Jiao", especially when I read the first one. The author's name is Amy Chao

 

The 11 Differences Between Dating A Girl And A Woman

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-chan/dating-girls-and-women_b_4174422.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

 

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn't get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

 

. . .

 

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn't.

 

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

I've seen these behaviors in a 'few' Chinese women; thankfully very few. I always accepted it as a glaring red flag that meant to run away as fast as you can. These are learned behaviors, taught and rewarded by family holding naive views of the world. The same views that cause them to drive cars and walk on streets as if they are invinceable.

[Mick]

I often heard the girl/women divide describe basically in terms of marriage: If the female is married or ever has been married, she is a woman. If she has not, she is a girl. If a 50 year old has never been married, she is an "old girl."

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

I often heard the girl/women divide describe basically in terms of marriage: If the female is married or ever has been married, she is a woman. If she has not, she is a girl. If a 50 year old has never been married, she is an "old girl."

 

That's pretty much what I've heard from Chinese women/girls when you ask them about it. The conversation typically begins if an American man says something like, "You seem like a really nice girl." You will get a quick reply back "I am not a girl, I am a woman" if they are married, previously married, or have children.

Edited November 1, 2013 by GuangDongExpat (see edit history)

[Steve in USA]

I have heard that it refers to the difference in virginity.

 

A girl is a virgin, while a woman is not. Girls get very indignant about be called a woman.

 

When in doubt, use lady.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

I have heard that it refers to the difference in virginity.

 

A girl is a virgin, while a woman is not. Girls get very indignant about be called a woman.

 

When in doubt, use lady.

 

Interesting take on the Chinese misunderstanding of how Westerners use English and talk to one another. I am quite sure however that the Chinese misunderstanding is at all related to whether or not a female is a virgin. I've never heard that from a single Chinese female. Rather, the difference is rooted in the Chinese language, that includes Mandarin and Cantonese as Mick and I both have suggested.

 

When it comes to misunderstandings by Chinese of English and Western culture I have learned that it's best to avoid discussing why they misunderstand it. It's far better to explain that we do not differentiate in America when it comes to the use of the words 'woman' and 'girl.' If we are communicating in Chinese language, then it is prudent to address and use the proper word, but when communicating in English it's best to dispel the Chinese notion that their use of English words does not apply to the Western culture. I've found most can get a grip on this after a little bit of effort, but they still remain rooted in their own understanding of woman and girl. I understand their cultural difference, but I do not agree with it or embrace it.

[Randy W]

Yeah, I find it hard to believe that anyone, east or west, would expect that we are commenting on bedroom activities when we use the words 'girl' or 'woman'. But even there, I remember a girl who, back in the 80's, whenever she heard the heard 'girl', she would say, "Not girl - WOMAN". "Not girl - WOMAN", ad nauseum. Finally, someone point-blank asked this self-appointed knight of Femi-Nazism, "Well, how do we know the difference? When does a girl become a woman?" She replied very smugly, "When a girl goes to bed, she goes to sleep!".

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Yeah, I find it hard to believe that anyone, east or west, would expect that we are commenting on bedroom activities when we use the words 'girl' or 'woman'. But even there, I remember a girl who, back in the 80's, whenever she heard the heard 'girl', she would say, "Not girl - WOMAN". "Not girl - WOMAN", ad nauseum. Finally, someone point-blank asked this self-appointed knight of Femi-Nazism, "Well, how do we know the difference? When does a girl become a woman?" She replied very smugly, "When a girl goes to bed, she goes to sleep!".

 

 

Funny! So, when a woman goes to bed she watches TV and does crossword puzzles?

 

[Steve in USA]

LOL. This isn't the first thing I've got wrong in trying to understand Chinese culture......

[david_dawei]

That is a classic line ("When a girl goes to bed, she goes to sleep!") but I don't think it is altogether true.

 

The idea is that a woman has 'life' on her mind and is more engaged in her existence on some level; a girl sees the world as pandering to her needs so she doesn't have to be pre-occupied with it all.

​The subtlety is a real woman is more engaged and has life on her mind... while awake. Sleep is the time to let that go and pick it up in the morning.