4th DUI

[maxsalvo]

 

As a hard core alcoholic drug addict I just couldn't set back and see him bring an innocent person over here without speaking up.

 

Amen to that! I seldom post here but felt compelled to do so after reading this.

 

Good ole Bob needs some help. The difficulty one has when bringing a Chinese woman to this country needs to be dealt with using a clean, sober mind. It has yet to be seen whether Bob can straighten out his act but please don't place an unsuspecting person into the life of a person who is a habitual offender of the law. I'm not judging Bob but from my experience, people with 3 or 4 DUI's typically suffer from alcoholism and possibly other addictions along with having addictive personalities. The life for a person living with an alcoholic is not a pretty one. I think tsap seui has given excellent advice and those words speak with much wisdom. I sure hope they are considered and not pushed aside.

 

Best of luck to all involved.

.

[tsap seui]

Thanks for the vindication Max. One doesn't have to dig very deep to see that most everyone in our society has seen or felt the effects of alcoholism in one way or the other. It's a vicious disease, and one easily fell into, as it is the only disease out there that your mind tells you, "I'm okay, it's those other people that have the problem, not me" so unlike any other disease you don't hurt inside, you blame your problems on anything else under the sun ( I was "unlucky" that cop caught me, my boss was a prick for firing me, etc etc) and why would the alcoholic go in for treatment or help when he/she is thinking they are "okay"? It's a tough one, and even worse for the family members.

 

And Bob. Bob's probably a decent all around guy. Heck, I am a Bob, and I have to remind myself of that fact every day of my life, else I jump back on the vicious merry go round, that isn't very merry.

 

I hope Bob sees his problem, takes that first step (admitting he's powerless over alcohol and that his life has become unmanageable) and that he gets the help he needs to change his life. He's more than likely a good guy with lots to offer.

 

In a perfect world, Bob would get help, get a year or so of some solid sobriety and then make his application for Mike's sister in law. He shouldn't be just thrown away like so much trash, but in our society we want things today, not some 365 days off in the future. Then again, if these two break it off, how long will it take to find another suitable fella for this beautiful Chinese lady? If Bob gets serious about this and gets help, he may well be a very good mate. Just needs time and a whole lot of hard work.

 

Good luck to everyone concerned. I hope it works out well for all.

 

tsap seui

[Allon]

My two cents.

 

The alcohol problem nees to be fixed first before any other homework. He should be given the chance to change. If he does not succeed then I would stop the process entirely. If he is the nice guy you say, he will go through the change. It is worth it to him. If not, then the time is now to stop the process and avoid a lot of hurt later.

 

And it needs follow up if the process goes ahead and he quits. A 4th timer has a lot of make up time.

 

To me, it would not be honest to her not to try and fix it first, and not to mention the problem to her as well. She should know what she is getting in to.

[Mick]

Thanks for the vindication Max. One doesn't have to dig very deep to see that most everyone in our society has seen or felt the effects of alcoholism in one way or the other. It's a vicious disease, and one easily fell into, as it is the only disease out there that your mind tells you, "I'm okay, it's those other people that have the problem, not me" so unlike any other disease you don't hurt inside, you blame your problems on anything else under the sun ( I was "unlucky" that cop caught me, my boss was a prick for firing me, etc etc) and why would the alcoholic go in for treatment or help when he/she is thinking they are "okay"? It's a tough one, and even worse for the family members.

 

And Bob. Bob's probably a decent all around guy. Heck, I am a Bob, and I have to remind myself of that fact every day of my life, else I jump back on the vicious merry go round, that isn't very merry.

 

I hope Bob sees his problem, takes that first step (admitting he's powerless over alcohol and that his life has become unmanageable) and that he gets the help he needs to change his life. He's more than likely a good guy with lots to offer.

 

In a perfect world, Bob would get help, get a year or so of some solid sobriety and then make his application for Mike's sister in law. He shouldn't be just thrown away like so much trash, but in our society we want things today, not some 365 days off in the future. Then again, if these two break it off, how long will it take to find another suitable fella for this beautiful Chinese lady? If Bob gets serious about this and gets help, he may well be a very good mate. Just needs time and a whole lot of hard work.

 

Good luck to everyone concerned. I hope it works out well for all.

 

tsap seui

You said it so well, tsapper. And yes, there are more than a few of us buddies of Bill W. on this here board. I gots a coin I been carryin' in my pocket for years.....

[dan1984]

This post made me think of this story:

 

Alcoholism can definitely be a scary thing.......

“Robbie Knievel defends DUI: ‘I friggin’ drink and ride … that’s my deal”

http://www.tmz.com/2013/08/08/robbie-knievel-arrested-for-dui-motorhome-rv-crash-south-dakota-sturgis/

 

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/aug/8/robbie-knievel-defends-dui-i-friggin-drink-and-rid/

[NUWORLD]

First off, Thanks to everyone for the support for Bob.

Though he IS a member here on CFL but never logs in.

 

Myself,Zhenghong and Zhengqin ( Hong little sister) Would like to thank all that have replied to this thread

 

This subject is indeed a disease and will always over come the best of us.

I'm no angle myself and have looked from behind bar on a few times.

 

Mostly for Drugs, buying and selling and using.

Hey! I was dumb,stupid and full of ...... well you know?

 

I knew i had a problem and could not stop, i was/am a addict.

 

Finally i got busted and while sitting in the back of a crown vic head to the cop shop.

I said to myself, Perfect now i can get my life back in order.

As much as it sounds crazy i was happy i got busted and i knew i was going to get clean and sober.

I even told the cop that arrested me that he saved my life.

 

Life is twisted and very hard at times and we all go through this no matter what the drug of choice it may be.

It could be sex,drug and wine don't care it will kill us all if we don't open our eyes at some point in our lives.

 

It always takes an eye opening time in our lives to figure out, WTF am I'm doing to myself???

At some point in our lives we wake up and smell the roses and take two steps back and say.....

I need to get my shit together, Period!!!

 

I did my time as many here have also and we do as me must to overcome and adapt to our new world.

 

My life story i just wrote about was 30 years ago, Hard to believe time goes by so fast when we get older.

Seam just like yesterday ( Hell just writing the post brings back old/bad memory's ) but life goes on and we all learn by our mistakes.

 

My wife knows all about my past and that is history, A forgotten past that will never be lived again.

History: A remarkable word in our language of our world.

Something we never forget and will always learn about.

 

As for Bob? Got only knows

May the heavens be with him and he gets help.

 

Bob always came over to our house on Saturdays and Hong cooked dinner for him/us.

That has stopped, Bob has not called to explain what happened and what he wants to do about the visa process.

Zhengqin knows about the issue only through my wife telling her about it.

 

I do know through public records Bob is GROUNDED!

He can not drive a car and can only go from work and home.

 

It's looking more like a train wreck waiting to happen.

The only good thing about this crap is that i have not filed any papers yet and have no planes to do so in the near future

unless Bob gets his shit together ASAP!

 

There is nothing more i/we can do but wait.

 

I hate waiting!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[amberjack1234]

Good post ole friend. Bob has to take the first step. Others can help but the biggest part has to come from him first. I hope he contacts you soon.

 

Larry

[NUWORLD]

Hey Larry how ya doing buddy?

Yes I agree, bob needs to take the first steps in recovery.

I just tied to call bob, no answer!

 

Not looking to good at this point

[tsap seui]

Well, one thing is for sure Mike. Bob's silence is DEAFENING.

 

tsap seui

[amberjack1234]

Been doin' pretty good Mike. Glad to see you back again.

 

I'd give him some time, space and basically just see what happens. If he is a good friend he will contact you when he is ready and has thought things out some. That's just me you go wherever your heart takes you.

 

Larry

[NUWORLD]

Update: Well i just received a text from Bob.

Seam as though he went to court today.

 

This is what he sent me.

 

 

Well its a misdemeanor. They are dropped three other charges, I go back to court on the 21st of October. I got 5 days jail time 20 days house arrest. License suspended for 2 years with driving privileges to work in back. That's about it. Thousand dollar fine.

 

Not sure what the other three charges he is talking about and why he needs to return to court on the 21st.

 

I guess it could have turned out worst.

My wife talked to him the other day on the phone and Bob told her he has stopped drinking??

We'll see for how long.

 

I will keep everyone up to speed and up to date when new news comes in.

 

Mike

[dnoblett]

To really stop drinking he may need to join AA.

[NUWORLD]

To really stop drinking he may need to join AA.

Yep! This is why I gave two questions marks in my last post.

My gut feeling, the second court date is for diversion/rehab.

 

Time will tell us all.

[NUWORLD]

To really stop drinking he may need to join AA.

 

 

UPDATE:

Bob has finished his jail time and payed all fines.

He is now on house arrest until December.

 

He can only drive from his house to work and to AA meetiings

YES! He is in AA.

He also has a interlock on his car and must blow each time he tries to start the car.

 

He has been sober now for 90 days and has been making all his AA meetings on time.

He told me the other day that he feels great not drinking and has a new out look on life.

 

I told him were all proud of him and keep up the great work.

 

Now from my point of view and i know there are a few of us here on candle that have been down this road at some time during our lifes.

I myself have been there.

 

Not from drinking but from drugs back many years ago.

I can remember just like it was yesterday when i received my 90 day badge.

It's a long and winding road but i put my life in gods hands and I'm still here writing this post.

 

I now have 15 years clean and sober and drug free.

 

IMO: I know Bob can do this as long as he applies him self.

 

Good luck Bob and god speed my friend.

 

 

Mike

[amberjack1234]

Yes good Luck to Bob and to you Mike as well.

 

Larry