Exceedingly Boring Couple Hopefully Worrying Too Much

[chilton747]

When you consider the cost of a trip to China, it seems ridiculous to me to place so much weight on the cost of the visa and green card. Why not simply do what makes the most sense?

 

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts.

[bobber205]

When you consider the cost of a trip to China, it seems ridiculous to me to place so much weight on the cost of the visa and green card. Why not simply do what makes the most sense?

 

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts.

 

I appreciate all the advice, though some of it seems a mute point about deciding which visa to apply for. We've already picked K1 and switching to K3 is universally a terrible idea.

[warpedbored]

One huge advantage of K-1 is if you are denied you have the option of getting married and filing an I-130 for a CR-1. There are no do overs for a CR-1. If denied you have to fight it out which can take years. Front load your petition to head off any potential red flags you might be aware of. Put yourself in a visa officer's shoes and look for things that may cause them to question you. Do your homework, read CFL, carefully review your petition before filing and you will likely get through this without any problems. Multiple trips to China does help. Make as many as you can before the interview.

Good luck.

[dnoblett]

When you consider the cost of a trip to China, it seems ridiculous to me to place so much weight on the cost of the visa and green card. Why not simply do what makes the most sense?

 

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts.

 

I appreciate all the advice, though some of it seems a mute point about deciding which visa to apply for. We've already picked K1 and switching to K3 is universally a terrible idea.

There is no "Switching" to a different visa type, it would involve sending a letter to USCIS asking them to close the I-129F K-1 petition informing them that you are getting married and then filing a new petition.. I have seen a couple members do just that.

 

Also again the K-3 is essentially a dead end visa, it gets closed at NVC, and the underlying CR-1 or IR-1 (I-130) spouse visa continues. Filing the I-129F after filing I-130 as option for K-3 tends to slow things down a bit at USCIS anyway, the convention is to simply erase the K-3 from your mind and thing CR-1.

[dan1984]

I too firmly believed that being introduced to immediate family and the best of friends is a huge sign in determining if one's "significant other" is of honest intentions or looking to make a visa grab.

 

Even after I was serious with my lady friend for half a year (living in China together), it was a huge decision for her to bring me back to her hometown with her for the Chinese New Year, and a decision that almost didn't go in this direction (heading back together).

 

If you are to go back to her hometown and see her parents and grandparents, if you break up or things don't work out, you'd like to think your most immediate of family would understand. But, it is her parents co-workers, neighbors, the nagging aunt, etc. that she is most worried about. If things go wrong, it is actually not herself that will feel the influence the most, but, at least in the case of my lady friend, it was her parents and closest family/friends that she considered when thinking about bringing me back to her hometown. If we were to not work out, it would be her family who would be looked down upon for having the "gold-digging daughter" who is looking for a western guy for this/that/and the other, and those still in her hometown who would feel "the affects of this decision," not her, who has been living/studying in Beijing, and now working.

 

After careful considering and much consultation with relatives, the tickets were finally booked and I went back home with her for the Chinese New Year. In affect, at this "early stage of the relationship," and even at this point as we are not engaged, it was in affect an acceptance on her part that we will be together for the long haul.

 

At the same time, if meeting the significant others parents is not taken as an important and unchangeable decision, I would also question the motives. I have seen cases where the parents of a young lady also support their daughter in trying to obtain an American visa at all costs. This is not a 100% fail-proof rule, but it is something that is 100% across the board this way in all of my normal Chinese friends.

 

I know dozens of young couples who have still not met the parents of their significant other for reasons such as this, and even as "meaningless" as I can't bring this guy back because he's too fat!

 

I don't think I explained this too well, but hopefully you say what I'm trying to say.

 

**Chinese spirits potentially influencing my explanation in this post. HEHE. Times are goo**

 

1) i found AOS to be pretty easy and stress-free

 

2) i'm thinking (someone else can correct me) -- for the third year back just include whatever you filed, even if it wasn't much; otherwise write a letter explaining that you were in school and didn't file. don't give GUZ the chance to request a third year at the interview, causing you a delay. a co-sponsor with 3 years (in addition to yours) sounds great

 

engagement ring: makes sense that if you're engaged she might have a ring, but i don't think it's going to affect the decision

 

ulterior motives: i didn't suspect ulterior motives in my wife either, and there weren't any

 

the fact that you were introduced to her extended family is a huge positive sign in my eyes. it shows that your fiancee believes that in the future she will not be having to explain away or cover up your appearance and disappearance in her life. if you were to break up, all the family members whose homes you visited would have to explain to the gossipy neighbors what happened to that American guy your fiancee brought home. your fiancee had no need to bring you to meet everyone aside from actually wanting you to join her family. there were surely people in the area who didn't approve and it would have been very easy to simply keep you away.

 

my wife's mom used to tell people that i was a chinese from xinjiang. when it was clear that we would be getting married, she told her friends about the situation, and they said she would be crazy to let her daughter marry an American. Her big fear was that we would divorce, which is a real concern considering our statistics in the US and the added difficulties of a cross-cultural relationship.

Edited December 19, 2011 by dan1984 (see edit history)

[bobber205]

It took several months or more before she was even comfortable telling her mother I existed.

 

We were way past using the "love" word to describe our feelings before that was considered. I knew ahead of time about the seriousness that introducing a bf to your parents means.

 

I am somewhat familiar with Chinese culture but even then I was still somewhat uncomfortable she hadn't said anything to family members. About a month after the "love" entered our lexicon, I pushed the issue.

Turns out the night before she told her mother. We were on the same wavelength (I had literally never mentioned it before I first brought it up).

 

I am fairly sure we're going to travel to see her grand parents next time I visit.

 

Her mother approves but did say to her once "I am ok with you going to the USA but if you guys dont' work out, I will be so embarrassed". Such a different way of looking at things. I am glad that the default attitude isn't "oh I hope she "gold digs" a visa". I could easily see that the attitude would be marrying a american just to get a visa to be in America being a "good thing". It gets you out of the poor village and to a "better" country.

[2mike&jin]

Hello Candle For Love members!

 

I discovered this site a few hours ago by googling ¡°K1 visa denial reasons¡± or something along those lines. Jing and I are a little less than 2 months into the K1 visa process and reading all the stories about denials in Guangzhou has gotten me super worried.

 

So I¡¯m making this post to hopefully have you guys calm my worries or worst case give my much needed advice and info.

 

Our I-129F was received by USISC on November 10th, 2011. We hired an attorney to help us with this process. As luck would have it, there¡¯s a CHINESE immigration attorney locally in town. Such luck! I¡¯m listing all pertinent details below is a numbered format to make it easier to read and refer back to later if need be. (hehe, it¡¯s also way easier than trying to incorporate a bunch of specific details into a ¡®story¡¯)

 

1) We meet on March 5th 2011. The first time we talked (over chat on ChineseLoveLinks.com first then quickly to Yahoo Messenger because their chat client sucks) we talked for 7 hours. We only stopped so I could wake up the next day)

 

2) We became a couple after 8 days. I cancelled all my dating website accounts (had a chineselovelinks.com account, an eHarmony account, Zoosk, some others I can¡¯t really remember)

 

3) In late June/early July we started seriously talking about where this was going. If we should get married. I know it seems quick but honestly it just feels so right. I feel like I¡¯ve known her my whole life. Can¡¯t imagine being with anyone else.

 

4) I visited her for two weeks in Oct (Oct 5th to 19th). We spent time in Beijing then traveled to her hometown.

 

5) I lived for a week with her and her parents who live in a city near Chongqing. We then spent a few days with her cousin in Chongqing proper.

 

6) We got engaged Friday evening on Oct 7th.

 

7) Early November we sent in our packet of info. It included about a dozen pictures of us together in China, Great wall pics, Forbidden City, even a couple with her parents/cousin/family.

 

8) I will visit in January for 9 days for Chinese New Years. Probably will take 200 or 300 pictures.

 

My worries:

 

* At the time of the interview we¡¯ll have known each other for a little over a year.

* We knew each other for 7 months before getting engaged. How bad is this?

* I know from other sources that I have to have 2 years of documented income to show I can ¡®support¡¯ her once she¡¯s here. I make many times over the poverty level so that won¡¯t be an issue but I started work August 2nd, 2010 (graduated in June 2010). My parents are obviously willing to cosign this. Is this going to be an issue?

* We¡¯ve literally never once talked on the phone. We¡¯ve used skype 100% of the time (occasionally Yahoo Video but almost always skype). So I have no phone records. With our initial packet, I had 1000+ Skype calls between the two of us to send. Will that be seen as equivalent?

 

Stuff I hope is in my favor:

 

* Will living for a week with her parents and visiting them twice, especially on such a important occasion such as Chinese New Years be beneficial?

* She¡¯s a year older than me, I assume no issue with this (she¡¯s 24 I¡¯m 23).

* She¡¯s meet my parents (particularly my mother) many times over Skype.

* Her English is 90-95% fluent.

* Neither one of us have been married before.

* Attorney has recommend me doing the following: More gifts, keep receipts. Continue to keep logs of skype chats/video calls.

* I bought her an engagement ring, which she will wear to the interview.

 

Honestly can¡¯t think of anything else to add, but I may edit if I or she thinks of something else.

 

Lot's of positive comment's from experienced members....I won't dwell on what you have done correctly, only the things that seem to make you worry and or things that you think are extra good. The real issue is how you can "expand the record" prior to the interview. Yes, I did a K-1 from China, in 2008.

 

Others have questioned the value of a Lawyer - and I couldn't agree more, especially for this endeavor. They can only repeat what you have told them, and they miss a lot of stuff, as well as they might misinterpret what has been said.

 

My first question to you; what are you doing or what have you done to assuage the worry's in your list? Example....you cite 2 years of income requirement and that you don't have it and you worry about it. Well first, I disagree with your assumption that you have to have two years of income to file or to be successful, and secondly "WHAT DID YOUR LAWYER DO TO MITIGATE THIS WORRY YOU HAD?" A simple letter, point paper, or reference in the record (Front Loading) could've eliminated this issue with a simple explanation of graduation from college and new job. Moreover, what is your strategy to correct what YOU perceive as a worry?

 

Ok, I wouldn't worry about the phone calls...but if I had a little worry, I would go to Tel3 Advantage sign up for the 2 or 3 cents a minute connect, load the app on my Iphone, and call her once a day for 10 minutes and provide a record. Tel3 couldn't be easier, nice logs, cheap, and it' an autodialer to China. Fix the WORRY. Secondly, if you think this is a problem, what did the lawyer do for you? How will you get what he recommended, more Skype Logs in to the record? What is your strategy to get this stuff in front of them?

 

NOW FOR DEBUNKING THE MYTH THAT "ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS GET IN FRONT OF THE VISA OFFICER AND SHE WILL DAZZLE THEM WITH HER COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND HER GREAT PERSONALITY, not to mention the 10 lbs of stuff she has in roll-on". She may in fact not even get a chance to hand anything in, say much more than her name, or stumble as they hand her a blue sheet. The websites, and this one are rift with similar experiences.....you can either act or not act ahead of the interview...it is your choice. If you have a worry/worries does you Lawyer share your concern? Does he just want to wait and see what happens? I hope my "attack" on the Lawyer makes you see that there are many ways to view his actions and or control your own actions. If you read through this site from end to end you will see lot's of things that people have done to fix perceived shortcomings in their applications or "changed status" BEFORE you let you almost fluent fiance stand in front of one of the slim balls at GUZ.

 

Here is one method, others on this site have suggested others. It is one I used, others mileage may vary. The week, (2 workdays) prior to my Fiance's interview, I made an appointment and went to Citizens Services in GUZ. I insisted that they "notarize" documents and updated my financial statements for current information. They said they didn't need to be notarized, and I said that they required current financial information, and some of the data was not certified, and that I wanted to insure that the documents had my signature on them attesting that they were true. I also submitted an updated EOR, and a few other tidbits that I had "WORRIED ABOUT" over the 6 months that the application was processing. In short, I handed in several documents (about 30 pages). I was lucky.... in that the Visa Officer kept asking me questions - I kept answering them - pretty soon I stated that the questions sounded like the questions my fiance would get at the interview the next week....he said yes, I'll just ask you and then we won't have to ask her!!!!

 

Ok, this is a nice story - but the point is, if you have worry then do something about it. I gave you one strategy, there are others, and many people on this site have discussed them in their after-interview notes....always with the idea of helping the next guy or gal.

 

OH, BTW I only see one "Strong point" in your list of things that you list to be to your advantage, well ok, maybe the fact neither of you have been married and you are near the same age might count as two.

 

EXample, Bought her an engagement ring and she will wear to the interview.....Ok, did you copy the sales receipt and make it part of the package you sent in? Did you take a picture of her receiving it, with family and friends? If you didn't how does GUZ know that she didn't borrow it from a friend or for that matter a person in the interview room? You need to think like a crook to deal with the people at GUZ, because that's what they think you and your fiance are. I"m not bitter - because our interview was a success....I'm just trying to get you to see it from their perspective - which is guilty until proven innocent!

 

If you think my opinion is strong...you should hear from one of the folks that got blue'd and then white'd and waited for years dealing with the inept agency! I was successful, and I still think the prejudice against Chinese is unfair.

 

Ok, I having painted the worry - take care of your worries, strengthen you case, and I"m positive you will be successful. Best of Luck.

[bobber205]

Lots of people have mentioned what you have above. Getting stuff in front of them./

 

The initial packet has been sent. What can I possibly do now? Any details on this process?

 

What upcoming opportunities do I have to present them more information?

 

1) We did not include the receipt in the initial package. My lawyer choose to NOT include it. I called him today questioning this and also asking how familiar he is with Guanzhou's procedure. He's worked with them for 13 years doing hundreds of immigration cases. He says if he left something out it was on purpose, to be included later.

 

2) She is wearing the ring is a couple of the pictures I sent in the P1 package.

 

3) Is my trip to the GUZ office a few workdays before my chance to provide these items? Can you give me additional details on this process? I haven't read anything definite. Everyone keeps suggesting to do things to "prepare" but not exactly when in the process that occurs.

 

More specific steps to take in the near future are much appreciated!

[dnoblett]

Lots of people have mentioned what you have above. Getting stuff in front of them./

 

The initial packet has been sent. What can I possibly do now? Any details on this process?

 

What upcoming opportunities do I have to present them more information?

 

1) We did not include the receipt in the initial package. My lawyer choose to NOT include it. I called him today questioning this and also asking how familiar he is with Guanzhou's procedure. He's worked with them for 13 years doing hundreds of immigration cases. He says if he left something out it was on purpose, to be included later.

 

2) She is wearing the ring is a couple of the pictures I sent in the P1 package.

 

3) Is my trip to the GUZ office a few workdays before my chance to provide these items? Can you give me additional details on this process? I haven't read anything definite. Everyone keeps suggesting to do things to "prepare" but not exactly when in the process that occurs.

 

More specific steps to take in the near future are much appreciated!

1) At this point nothing you can do to include any additional evidence, save it for interview time. I would not worry about this, from the detailed list above you look fine.

 

2) They probably won't notice it. Again they look at the totality of the petition.

 

3) Nope, the interview process involves document drop office the day before interview, at that time, they sometimes accept a few additional things, but more than likely not. Just bring things into the actual interview.

[Beachey]

 

 

My first question to you; what are you doing or what have you done to assuage the worry's in your list?

 

This I think is excellent advice. What can you do in the in the next six months to strengthen your case. Look forward not back.

 

You likely will be fine but the more one observes this process, the more a little bit of paranoia seems justified..

[david_dawei]

Her mother approves but did say to her once "I am ok with you going to the USA but if you guys dont' work out, I will be so embarrassed". Such a different way of looking at things. I am glad that the default attitude isn't "oh I hope she "gold digs" a visa". I could easily see that the attitude would be marrying a american just to get a visa to be in America being a "good thing". It gets you out of the poor village and to a "better" country.

First off... if you think "embarrassed" is the correct feeling in their culture, you are surely short on comprehension of chinese culture. I don't care what word they used to speak it, if you truly know the culture it is closer to a tomb than a tune. But let's forget that and move on to where you actually are.

 

Concerning the laywer; they will always tell you what you want to hear. Very few, if any, truly know the consulate in Guangzhou. Ask this simple question to the lawyer: Is the korean VO or the middle east VO really that easy? These are the two most difficult VOs in GUZ who are ready to deny someone... any hesitation or word play on an answer will tell you your answer. His answer should be simply: They are the toughest.

 

What can you do? You are K1. Visits and face to face are most important... which means more pictures. 10,000 emails mean little when 10 pictures will do.

 

She seems to research the process a little too much for my liking but that is not my issue... just be aware that her recommendations are coming from somewhere. While they may or may not reconcile to recommendations here should be handled carefully. Your battle is with GUZ, not her. Be respectful of what she suggests and weight it carefully. You can ask here about it but in the end, how you handle it is not just a short-term issue.

[2mike&jin]

Lots of people have mentioned what you have above. Getting stuff in front of them./

 

The initial packet has been sent. What can I possibly do now? Any details on this process?

 

What upcoming opportunities do I have to present them more information?

 

1) We did not include the receipt in the initial package. My lawyer choose to NOT include it. I called him today questioning this and also asking how familiar he is with Guanzhou's procedure. He's worked with them for 13 years doing hundreds of immigration cases. He says if he left something out it was on purpose, to be included later.

 

2) She is wearing the ring is a couple of the pictures I sent in the P1 package.

 

3) Is my trip to the GUZ office a few workdays before my chance to provide these items? Can you give me additional details on this process? I haven't read anything definite. Everyone keeps suggesting to do things to "prepare" but not exactly when in the process that occurs.

 

More specific steps to take in the near future are much appreciated!

 

 

Please log on to the GUZ website and read about Americans using notary services at the Consulate. This is one way to talk and get things into the hands of the GUZ VISA officers. The meeting they have seems to be less productive but perhaps others can give recent information. Please don't take to heart to much of what I say...it's just the ramblings of an old man -- I just don't trust the process at GUZ, and I was trying to discuss alternatives to your worries. Normally, generally, chances are you will have no problems....or perhaps extra effort will sway the vote....whatever makes you feel comfortable. The Lawyer doing something for 13 years doesn't give me any comfort - and if he left something out it was on purpose causes me even more concern.

If the lawyer will include things later...what is that process? Makes me wonder how he will ensure things get in front of the VISA slim balls. Remember, many folks here have reported that their loved one...never get's a chance to talk, present, or answer some of the VISA officers. Your mileage may vary. Regardless, happy holidays - and best of luck with the remainder of your process.

[Randy W]

When you consider the cost of a trip to China, it seems ridiculous to me to place so much weight on the cost of the visa and green card. Why not simply do what makes the most sense?

 

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts.

 

 

Telling people they can get denied because they're not already married is scare-mongering, and among the worst advice I've seen on this forum.

 

Yes - it's a difference of opinion. I prefer presenting FACTS, and letting them decide. We seem to be pushing CR-1's over K-1's, and over-emphasizing the cost of the visa. Travel costs MONEY, a CR-1 will, in my estimation, involve at least one more trip than a K-1.

 

Personal circumstances should determine THEIR choice - the poster in question seems to be well down the path with his.

[david_dawei]

When you consider the cost of a trip to China, it seems ridiculous to me to place so much weight on the cost of the visa and green card. Why not simply do what makes the most sense?

 

What makes sense to you is not always what makes sense to others. Frequent flyer miles make for a very inexpensive trip to China. Besides, I'd rather give my money for a trip to China than to the government. Just a difference of opinion that's all. And no one's scare-mongering.....just presenting facts.

 

 

Telling people they can get denied because they're not already married is scare-mongering, and among the worst advice I've seen on this forum.

 

Yes - it's a difference of opinion. I prefer presenting FACTS, and letting them decide. We seem to be pushing CR-1's over K-1's, and over-emphasizing the cost of the visa. Travel costs MONEY, a CR-1 will, in my estimation, involve at least one more trip than a K-1.

 

Personal circumstances should determine THEIR choice - the poster in question seems to be well down the path with his.

Ok. Everyone has a good point to make here... and I have made points in past threads on both sides, however uncomfortable to others.

 

But in this case, there is no point in pushing CR-1 over K-1 when the decision has been made.

 

In respect to advice on either visa path, the OP is "well down the path with his".

 

Let's stick to discussion about how to improve on his choice and personal circumstance.

 

---

 

Added: although I quoted Randy, it was not meant as a response to him directly; I tend to agree with him. His advise is to be sought, as well as others.

Edited December 20, 2011 by david_dawei (see edit history)

[chilton747]

 

 

 

Telling people they can get denied because they're not already married is scare-mongering, and among the worst advice I've seen on this forum.

 

 

who did that?