Love life in China

[amberjack1234]

Considering some post made lately that perhaps this article will shed some light on the love life of Chinese men and women. I don't think that many of us ever studied much about this aspect of China before we got involved with a Chinese lady.

 

Be sure to click on the links in the text and read them as well.

 

http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=108&catid=4&subcatid=20

 

Larry

[Mick]

Fascinating stuff there to be sure. Lots of info and didn't have time to read all of it. The attitudes of my students toward sex was fairly open and I remember on more than a few occasions stumbling over groping couples in the dark when Li and I would take late night walks around the lakes on our campus. Whenever I stumbled over one of my students, especially the females, they were highly embarrassed. One of my students, again a female, once stated quite directly at a discussion in my apartment ( she was talking to the boy she was dating) - "If you want a virgin, go over to the kindergarten."

[bullmastiff]

Morality is low due to highly competitive nature of the society .

For many years of communism and the lying concept of cultural revolution and now full enterprise system . What do you expect ??? I'm not at all surprise with the postings . In fact ,they are not that bad considering it could be worse.

[david_dawei]

Two warnings in regards to the usage of the word "xiao" , which can mean younger or smaller or previous in regards to family relationships.

 

1. DO NOT EVER use that in regards to your wife... as in think that it would be so sweet to call her my little wife, like "XIAO LAO PO"... you are likely to be in the dog house faster than get the last syllable out

 

This actually means, more like 'second wife', as in your lover.

 

2. Xiao mei means younger sister and is used in response to Da Ge (older brother). This is a subtle contrast to simply saying "ge ge" and "mei mei" , which also means older brother and younger sister respectively. So how are they different?

 

If "da ge" is used, it carries more weight; as in, the oldest brother who is responsible. It is also used to mean the brother in charge; ergo, the "boss" or even mafia boss may be called this. It is a sign of respect in a way that 'ge ge' may not alone carry as much. If a lady calls you "da ge", she believes you are responsible and in a place of responsibility and therefore can take care of something too. But if addressed this way, you would say "xiao mei" to her, as if to say, you are my little sister whom I will take care of.

 

Here is the point. Why do chinese ladies *generally* like to marry older men? because they are 'ge ge' or because they are 'da ge' to them? Take a moment to seriously ponder this trivial difference which most any chinese lady has lived with as a basic way of life. Now, it is true that some ladies will use 'gg' (gege) online to imply their boyfriend or as such, but they are using this loosely to imply the 'da ge' point; which is, this is someone who is supposed to take care of me; Even when I am wrong, an older brother will take care of me because he understands this relationship... life lesson, if you will.

[Mick]

Two warnings in regards to the usage of the word "xiao" , which can mean younger or smaller or previous in regards to family relationships.

 

1. DO NOT EVER use that in regards to your wife... as in think that it would be so sweet to call her my little wife, like "XIAO LAO PO"... you are likely to be in the dog house faster than get the last syllable out

 

This actually means, more like 'second wife', as in your lover.

 

2. Xiao mei means younger sister and is used in response to Da Ge (older brother). This is a subtle contrast to simply saying "ge ge" and "mei mei" , which also means older brother and younger sister respectively. So how are they different?

 

If "da ge" is used, it carries more weight; as in, the oldest brother who is responsible. It is also used to mean the brother in charge; ergo, the "boss" or even mafia boss may be called this. It is a sign of respect in a way that 'ge ge' may not alone carry as much. If a lady calls you "da ge", she believes you are responsible and in a place of responsibility and therefore can take care of something too. But if addressed this way, you would say "xiao mei" to her, as if to say, you are my little sister whom I will take care of.

 

Here is the point. Why do chinese ladies *generally* like to marry older men? because they are 'ge ge' or because they are 'da ge' to them? Take a moment to seriously ponder this trivial difference which most any chinese lady has lived with as a basic way of life. Now, it is true that some ladies will use 'gg' (gege) online to imply their boyfriend or as such, but they are using this loosely to imply the 'da ge' point; which is, this is someone who is supposed to take care of me; Even when I am wrong, an older brother will take care of me because he understands this relationship... life lesson, if you will.

Wow! David is so right on with what he is saying here and he has explained these subtle concepts very well. When I lived in China it took me a while to figure all this out, even with Li explaining the subtle language differences to me. I often call Li "Xiao Hua" (Little Flower) but never, ever, Xiao Lao po! I recall one time an American teacher who lived in our building, a young guy about 24 years old, once referred to his fiance's sister with that phrase and all hell broke loose because the two girls mother was present. He meant to say something else, was trying to impress the mother with his newly-learned Chinese. Boy, did he screw up! Basically called his fiance's little sister his second wife or mistress.

 

David, thanks for posting that. I could have never explained it that well.