Wife Visiting Home......

[djwalker60]

We'll the wife is going back to China for what I consider too long. Even though we did discuss it, it felt like a one way discussion....

 

I am not really looking for advice as to 'what to do' but more of a sense of other's who's wives have gone back as too what a reasonable length of stay really is?

 

Should I push the point of coming back early and changing the ticket? One reason she stipulated the early departure was cost... The ticket was a lot less, which in the end extended the stay from our original plan. Most Chinese wife's looking to save a buck?

 

We'll hope I am not just rambling on in a stuper .. Just not very happy about this trip... Argh !!

 

Dan..

 

Oh if I didn't make a sense.. Sorry, brain is turned off...

[dnoblett]

My wife went to China for 2 months last year, not a problem. Griz328's wife went to China for 6 months so that she could get in the final amount of time needed for her retirement, she was on the conditional 2 year residency, Not a problem.

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?/topic/38547-bought-the-ticket/

 

Periods longer than 6 months can get questioning at the POE, periods longer than 1 year requires a re-entry permit (I-131 filed)

 

Periods longer than 6 months will affect when can file N-400 for citizenship..

[reblooming]

i guess it depends on how many times she goes back to china every year. for example, if she goes back to china twice a year,maybe stay 1-1.5months each time is ok;if she goes back to china once a year maybe stay 3 months; if goes back to china once another year maybe 6 months is reasonbale....

[NewDay2006]

You didn't mention how long she went. My wife went for about 6 weeks at the beginning of the year. I would think 3 months is about the limit. But that is only my opinion. I must say they do miss home. Don't let it upset you too much unless you question her reasons for going for so long even then what can you do about it now?

Edited May 11, 2011 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[chilton747]

What do you consider too long?

[djwalker60]

What do you consider too long?

 

 

 

She is going for 4 months and if all is good and I can afford it, I'll meet her there for a short visit before the both of us come back. First time back in almost a year and next year, no plans to go back. She says she want's to see other places.. I guess just depressing, especially since she is also taking our little one with too..... This is life...

[dnoblett]

My old tai tai didn't want to go back in the first five years, even though I wanted to. Then, we went back once in 2008 for about 2 1/2 weeks.She's not considering another trip home until next year at the earliest. I really don't understand these months long trips every year or two. If someone wants to spend that much time in China, just stay there.

 

 

Actually the 2 month trip went by quick for my wife, she wanted to visit family in several parts of China north and south.

[djwalker60]

Not really happy about it, but gone now.. So what to do? I do hope maybe she'll re-think her length of stay after she's been there awhile. We'll see. But I already told her no trip next year and she was ok with that. So I hope that this long trip will cure the necessity to go back. I realize she is my wife... why come if she want's to be there so much... maybe not nice husband.. but I guess I am bit bitter about this trip.

 

D-

[credzba]

Not really happy about it, but gone now.. So what to do? I do hope maybe she'll re-think her length of stay after she's been there awhile. We'll see. But I already told her no trip next year and she was ok with that. So I hope that this long trip will cure the necessity to go back. I realize she is my wife... why come if she want's to be there so much... maybe not nice husband.. but I guess I am bit bitter about this trip.

 

D-

 

 

 

I am the American side of our relationship, but 2 months seems like a minimum if your going to do anything.

You lose at least 1 week going due to time adjustment.

Then, you have to visit family, thats another week or 2.

Then if you want to go anywhere on tourism or to visit distant family thats another 2 - 4 weeks.

Thats 2 months.

Then just being home, I could burn another month or 2.

 

So for me (keep in mind I am the American) less than 2 months is not enough, and 4 months is maybe enough.

 

 

 

[NewDay2006]

I can understand your frustration... 4 months does seem extreme. maybe she will miss you and change her mind.

[chilton747]

I take it that her family will be seeing your son for the first time? This can be cause for some extra time there.

Knowing Chinese like I do, the money spent for airfare is another reason to spend some extra time there as in "getting her money's worth."

My wife went to China for 3 months. She was on a mission to get our house finished there and spend some time with her son. She also tried to sell her other house but things didn't work out. Basically she was trying to tie up some loose ends.

 

I don't think that 4 months is too much.

[DongDong]

I take it that her family will be seeing your son for the first time? This can be cause for some extra time there.

Knowing Chinese like I do, the money spent for airfare is another reason to spend some extra time there as in "getting her money's worth."

My wife went to China for 3 months. She was on a mission to get our house finished there and spend some time with her son. She also tried to sell her other house but things didn't work out. Basically she was trying to tie up some loose ends.

 

I don't think that 4 months is too much.

 

 

My wife went back with our daughter for three months for this very reason.

 

She would have liked to stay longer, but we had to get our other daughter back into school in the fall. The grandparents and as chilton says,"getting her money's worth" can exert a lot of pressure on your wife. The next 'visit' will be her parents coming here(hopefully), but for six months

 

I know this time for you isn't much fun...good luck!

[whatsthedeal]

Hi dj

Two things stand out from your post to me.

1:

"it felt like a one way discussion...."

Is there any other type discussion with a Chinese wife?

2:

Most Chinese wife's looking to save a buck?

Yes

 

Hell! I wish I could have mine go visit for 4 months.

4 months I could drink beer, smoke in the house, walk inside with my freakin shoes on, eat pizza, burgers everyday. 4 months of no phone calls at work "I needa yoooou do this and this and this and that". "NO BE LAZY MAN!!"

 

Naw heck I love her.

Hope the time passes fast for you.

[JimS.]

I can understand your frustration... 4 months does seem extreme. maybe she will miss you and change her mind.

 

Not if it involves saving money. We all know how much saving a buck is to them.

I can't tell you how many times I went out shopping with mine and spent so much time looking in different stores. Then back and forth between stores

until she got the price she was happy with. She would be so giddy like a kid getting their favorite candy.