Please help!! How do we co-mingle our lives in China

[concert500]

I posted this yesterday but maybe no one knew I was seeking guidence......

 

OK CFL, I need some ideas of co-mingling our paperwork and life in China since I am currently in the USA. We never tried to add my name to anything in China before now because we didn't think we needed it. With a possible revocation of our CR-1 petition we are working to strengthen our case for the next go round. I know it is diificult to add names to agreements. I can't add Yan to my apartment without a credit check and all kinds of hassel. But, that is in the US where I have already have listed her on many things already. I need ideas for China hopefully that she can do with me in the States. Worse case I can wait until I go back to China at year end. Thank you for your support.

[credzba]

I posted this yesterday but maybe no one knew I was seeking guidence......

 

OK CFL, I need some ideas of co-mingling our paperwork and life in China since I am currently in the USA. We never tried to add my name to anything in China before now because we didn't think we needed it. With a possible revocation of our CR-1 petition we are working to strengthen our case for the next go round. I know it is diificult to add names to agreements. I can't add Yan to my apartment without a credit check and all kinds of hassel. But, that is in the US where I have already have listed her on many things already. I need ideas for China hopefully that she can do with me in the States. Worse case I can wait until I go back to China at year end. Thank you for your support.

 

Money helps

 

I don't know your financial situation, but you can buy property in China, with both of your names on it, my wife and I did that.

 

I don't think the US government cares whether your shared property in in China or not, in fact I suspect they prefer it to be in America where they can verify it.

 

Remember the basic idea, rather than trying to paint a picture.

What they would like to see is a couple so tightly intertwined financially that it would be difficult to separate the goods again. In their minds, a fraudulent couple would not risk their property for the sake of a visa.

 

I have friends who were in no way frauds, but really did not want to mix their finances. In the case I am thinking of it was the man's 3rd marriage, and he felt he had been "taken" by the previous marriages.

Also, his wife had property in China, and did not want the man claiming something she worked hard for.

 

Thus is the problem, the visa officer wants you "committed", but many newly wed couples want to be just "involved". (Reference pig/chicken breakfast story).

 

Never the less, some ideas.

You can open an account in China with both your names, and fund it by wire transfer from America.

You can use the wires and the account statement book as evidence.

 

You can buy property in either america or china, and put both your names on it. I found America mortgage companies WANTED her name on the mortgage even if she had no social and lived in China.

 

You can file your taxes in both your names.

 

Those are my thoughts.

[warpedbored]

I don't see the point. What they are mainly interested in is bona fide relationship. What property she has in China doesn't show that.

[david_dawei]

I think Credzba point is; part of a bona-fide relationship that a VO may want to see [for some couples] is that they truly share their financial stakes. I think this is not a big issue for most; but once you've been refused the visa, the burden is on the petitioner to convince the VO of the relationship.

 

Ways to do that includes getting names together on leases, property, etc, letters from others who truly know both, other long term plans (ie: including a baby). What does a VO see in the relationship where s/he really believes this is for keeps.

 

There are way too many relationships which operate on a 'trial' basis; the burden for some may be to show this is truly more than just that.

[TLB]

Money helps

 

I don't know your financial situation, but you can buy property in China, with both of your names on it, my wife and I did that.

 

I don't think the US government cares whether your shared property in in China or not, in fact I suspect they prefer it to be in America where they can verify it.

 

Remember the basic idea, rather than trying to paint a picture.

What they would like to see is a couple so tightly intertwined financially that it would be difficult to separate the goods again. In their minds, a fraudulent couple would not risk their property for the sake of a visa.

 

I have friends who were in no way frauds, but really did not want to mix their finances. In the case I am thinking of it was the man's 3rd marriage, and he felt he had been "taken" by the previous marriages.

Also, his wife had property in China, and did not want the man claiming something she worked hard for.

 

Thus is the problem, the visa officer wants you "committed", but many newly wed couples want to be just "involved". (Reference pig/chicken breakfast story).

 

Never the less, some ideas.

You can open an account in China with both your names, and fund it by wire transfer from America.

You can use the wires and the account statement book as evidence.

 

You can buy property in either america or china, and put both your names on it. I found America mortgage companies WANTED her name on the mortgage even if she had no social and lived in China.

 

You can file your taxes in both your names.

 

Those are my thoughts.

 

These are great ideas; I'm in the same position in that I'm trying to shore up the bonafide relationship part since we only see each other twice a year for two weeks each. My thoughts and experience (remember I don't know that these help or work -- it's just what I'm doing to try to show the commitment):

 

1. When we were in China in July we went to three different banks and none would allow us to open a joint account

2. I opened a joint account here in the States with my credit union (she had to sign a couple of papers) and she has an ATM card she uses to draw from it as needed.

3. I send her some money each month, and have been for some time (we've known each other 18 months and got married in July), and I have receipts for all of that (and her friends mentioned it in their support letters)

4. I made her my beneficiary for my 403b and for my job's death benefits should I die before retiring

5. I will be looking into filing my taxes with her name as well

6. I will look into adding her name to my mortgage, thanks for that idea! (I had assumed they wouldn't do that)

 

All of these of course can be changed easily so I'm not sure how convincing they are by themselves, but I can see a VO asking "if this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, why is she NOT on your mortgage, beneficiary, taxes, bank accounts, etc"?

[concert500]

These are great ideas; I'm in the same position in that I'm trying to shore up the bonafide relationship part since we only see each other twice a year for two weeks each. My thoughts and experience (remember I don't know that these help or work -- it's just what I'm doing to try to show the commitment):

 

1. When we were in China in July we went to three different banks and none would allow us to open a joint account

2. I opened a joint account here in the States with my credit union (she had to sign a couple of papers) and she has an ATM card she uses to draw from it as needed.

3. I send her some money each month, and have been for some time (we've known each other 18 months and got married in July), and I have receipts for all of that (and her friends mentioned it in their support letters)

4. I made her my beneficiary for my 403b and for my job's death benefits should I die before retiring

5. I will be looking into filing my taxes with her name as well

6. I will look into adding her name to my mortgage, thanks for that idea! (I had assumed they wouldn't do that)

 

All of these of course can be changed easily so I'm not sure how convincing they are by themselves, but I can see a VO asking "if this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, why is she NOT on your mortgage, beneficiary, taxes, bank accounts, etc"?

 

 

Yea, were good on the usa Side.... beneficiary life insurance, 401K, water bill, etc... we have not mingled our lives in China.... Just wanting to make sure all was covered. I appreciate the feedback.

[Stepbrow]

It is good to do as much as you can to prove your relationship is bonified. My advice is to focus on the most important things, and don't stress about minor ones.

 

Here they are in my opinion:

 

The first is time. Did you rush into the relationship, or did you take some time to get to know each other. How much time have you spent together? When you make a trip is it a short one, or do you spend a good deal of time? How many trips have you made? Numbers count here as well as time.

 

The second is communication. Either you need to speak Chinese or she needs to speak English. Relationships are based upon communication, so if you cannot communicate you cannot have a bonifide relationship (in the eyes of the CO).

 

The third is money. If this isn't covered, forget it. If it is, then this one is covered.

 

Finally, as our good and wise friend David Z (or is it David Dawei now) has said many times. You must look at the long term, and you must prepare your SO for a bad result. CO's decisions are final, and sometimes non-logical. Getting your SO to the US is a process. For some the process is shorter than for others. I believe that all will succeed if you have a strong relationship, prepare adequately, and accept a long term attitude.

 

If you are fortunate you will get the visa on the first interview. If you are unfortunate you will get the visa on the second interview. This is because the appeals process will work; it will just take time and patience.

[concert500]

Well thanks for all the input. I am flying back next month and going to do what we can on that side. After having Marc Ellis look over our case, I feel better about our chances next time.