ATTENTION

[keelec]

Unfortunately, Rudolf has been having troubles with his visa this year, and Santa will not have his reindeer guide this year. Out of shear frustration, Santa has decided the only alternative was to skip delivering presents to the United States.

 

The troubles began last Christmas Eve when Rudolf was traveling through Idaho and fell in love with Trixie, a mule deer from Northern Idaho near Yellow Pine. Trixie came to visit him last February at the North Pole and they decided to get married March 8th. Two days later, they filed their application for a K3 visa with the US INS. Since Trixie was from Idaho, they filed in Nebraska. Five months later, August 12th, NSC sent back an RFE because Rudolf and Trixie had failed to list an Embassy in the North Pole that would review their case.

 

Here lies the problem. The North Pole, not being on a land mass, is not in any country's jurisdiction. Thus, there is no local Embassy.

 

Santa first approached the Canadian Embassy in Ontario. However, the immigration officials in Ontario astutely pointed out that Santa's Workshop was actually much closer to US territory than Canadian territory, and thus they adamantly refused to take the case.

 

The US State Department was actually considering waving the visa requirements due to the proximity of the workshop to Alaska. However, Sam Walmart complained to his golf buddy, George Bush that Santa and his crew including Rudolf were decidedly un-American because they because they were giving away millions of presents for free, and significantly stifling competition on the Christmas Market. Mr. Bush immediately squelched any ideas of waving the visa requirements.

 

Finally, the Russian Embassy in Moscow agreed to take the case.

 

After a month of run-around trying to determine who would hear the case, Rudolf returned the RFE to Nebraska listing Moscow as the Jurisdiction. With extreme pressure from Mini-Me, and the other American Dwarves, the NSC finally finished processing the case on October 3rd. It was then forwarded to the National Visa Center. With a blinding burst of speed, NVC finished the case on November 18th and forwarded it to the Moscow Embassy.

 

However, the Russian Embassy insists on repeating the name check and refuses to do anything until the Additional Administrative Processing is finished. Trixie has contacted both Idaho Senators as well as both Representatives to try to help move the case forward, but nothing will budge the Moscow Embassy from deviating from their own intrinsic schedule for completing their Additional Administrative Processing on Rudolf's Visa. They have already scheduled all of their interviews out to mid February, and even if they could offer an interview, it would be impossible to do it before next February or March. Their only suggestion was for Rudolf to trade jobs with the Easter Bunny. Unfortunately, the Easter Bunny gets nauseated with long hops, and is afraid of flying.

 

Realizing that time was running short, Santa suggested filing for a temporary employment visa as all of the reindeer had done in the past. Unfortunately, the temporary employment visa was refused because of Rudolf's intention to immigrate.

 

Without a guide for the Sleigh through the USA this Christmas Eve, Santa has finally decided to skip bringing gifts to the children in the USA for the first time in over a century.

[JerryL]

Hey, this is great! You should send it to a newspaper to highlight our plight!

 

Jerry

[dvs7310]

Nice, but you have too much time on your hands...

[warpedbored]

I love it!!!!! Very good Cliff

[AZwolfman]

Nice, but you have too much time on your hands...

I think that is EXACTLY the point of this story.

[Robert S.]

In addition to Rudolph's visa difficulties you could have mentioned also that Ashcroft has got Santa on the watch list for having a suspiciously long and heavy beard.

[keelec]

I am glad that you have enjoyed my stories. They have been fun to write.

 

I am sorry if some of the themes are a bit negative..... But, they are a place where I can release some of my frustration with the system.

 

------ Clifford -----

[warpedbored]

I think your stories are great Cliff. The idea of sending them to a newspaper isn't half bad. People are warmer to a cause if it has a little humor in the message. I cut an pasted it and sent it to everyone in my address book and have had some positive feedback from it. http://www.stupid.com/Merchant2/graphics/products/rudnose-ani-but.gif

[keelec]

Carl,

 

Now, that will be interesting.... Seeing how long it takes for my own story to make its way back to me!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am glad you enjoyed the story......

 

The "Prancer" and "Vixen" story is still to come.... Although, it probably won't be as long as the Rudolf story.

[keelec]

NEWS FROM THE NORTH POLE

 

The Elves are threatening going on strike if Santa doesn't distribute the warehouse full of toys that they have been slaving to make for the American Children. Although most of the toys have already been made, if they walk out, there will be nobody to load the sleigh for Santa to deliver to the rest of the world.

 

All they need to do is figure out how to attach headlights and foglights to the lead reindeer….. without blinding them all. It certainly wouldn't be popular if the glare from the Sears tower caused them to crash into the building.

 

Blixen, an avid Rambo fan, has already started experimenting with weaving army-type glow sticks into his harness. They should be able to provide enough light without blinding them…..

 

Comet, however, thinks the blinky bicycle lights would be better, and they would be less likely to be shot down when flying over Iraq if they aren't wearing any Army gear.

 

Dancer, of course, likes the fancy glow necklaces that are so popular at the discos.

 

Now they all have to compete on who will actually be the leader for the first time in decades, and it looks like the decision will come down to whoever comes up with the best headlight system. Santa is planning a competition on December 23rd, and all of the reindeer are working hard to come up with a new light system. Even, Rudolf has put off his despair and chipped in a helping hand.

 

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JUST IN……

 

Apparently Prancer and Vixen are having troubles with their visas too. Their Veterinarian Certificates expired December 4th and 9th (one year from last the last time they applied for the visa, before Christmas a year ago).

 

Last year, Prancer was getting hungry in London and convinced the team to make a quick stop at McDonalds where he had a Big Mack……. Not having any data about the cross species effects of Mad Cow disease, and having no way to detect the disease, the vet decided to withhold issuing the veterinarian certificate, and thus, he has been denied the visa.

 

Vixen had managed to step in a cow pie in Farmer Johnson's property in Northern Scotland last Christmas…… Six months later, the farm was condemned for having Hoof and Mouth Disease, and the entire herd was destroyed. Some have even blamed Vixen for this ill fate. Even though Vixen is asymptotic, his vet worries that he will be spreading the disease around the world, and thus has denied issuing the certificate.

 

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Loosing 2 more of his best reindeer….. And, now with all of the unrest among the elves…… This is just getting to be too much for poor Santa to take.

 

----- Clifford Keele -----