I'll pray for you

[Q&Q]

When a friend says that she'll pray for you, does she mean she'll literally pray for you, like when she prays, she actually includes you in her praying, asking God to bless you? Or, is it just a thought, just like a best wish from her to you?

 

Thanks!

[Kyle]

When I say I'll pray for you, I literally mean it. That is also how I interpret it when I hear someone tell me the same thing.

[Stepbrow]

Literal with me too.

[TLB]

My take:

It is indeed, as you suggest, a best wish from your friend to you, so you should take it as at least that. I think most people who would say that instead of "I hope the best for you" or "I'll be thinking about you" or "best of luck to you" do indeed have a practice of prayer in some form and do indeed intend to include you in those prayers. Whether they follow through of course will vary from person to person.

[Q&Q]

Thanks to Kyle, Stepbrow and TLB!

 

I always appreciate it when some of my Christian friends say that they'll pray for me.

 

I wasn't born a Christian. I was born in China. While my parents are both Buddhists, I'm "officially" atheist since the country is officially an atheist country. I respect my parents' beliefs. At times like family ceremonial events, I try my best to do as a Buddhist is supposed to do. I think I do it without obligation. I "act" (hope you know what I mean) like a Buddhist, partially because I want to make my parents happy and partially because I'm just like many other people in China, who are officially atheist but also are under a lot of influence of Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism.

 

I've been in America for 7 years. I've had many chances to connect with Christianity. I've given a Bible. I've been to a church once. To be honest, I went there out of curiosity and in hope of finding new friends. I've several Christian friends who constantly talk me into going to Church with them. But I don't feel that I'm ready for that. Some of my friends are from China, just like me. I'm very happy for them that they adapted to their Christian life very easily and quickly. I also noticed some changes in them, like when they talk about God, they're so happy and positive and passionate about life. Some of my friends are born Christian. One of them is a coworker who gave me the international version of Bible and answered a lot of my questions.

 

I admit that I'm more interested in Christianity than ever before. But I also admit that I'm not a Christian just yet or even maybe I'll never be a Christian. There're times I feel some connections and there're times when I lose them all. I do believe that whether you believe in a religion or not is more intuitional. If you start to think of it too much logically, no matter how hard you try, you'll find nothing convincible.

 

My problem is that gradually I feel that my Christian friends are more distant from me. I don't have a whole lot of friends here in America, like I did back in China. I feel fortunate to be able to have friends here thousands of miles away from my birthplace. I feel sad when I sensed that they might not be willing to be my close friends any more, if I don't go to church with them or talk about God with them like they all do when we're getting together.

 

Several days ago, one of my coworkers (who is a white Christian woman of my age) said that she prays for me every day, and she even repeated "every day" to emphasize that. I didn't know what to say to her, except "thank you, thank you and thank you". We're friends for several years and we have lunch together almost every working day. So we shared a lot of our personal, emotional stories. I wasn't feeling so well physically lately. I do appreciate it very much that she cares about me and prays for me. But I also feel some kind of pressure, maybe not from her but from myself, for not doing anything in return for her. I feel like next time when she says "come on, go to church with me", I don't know how to say no any more, after saying too many nos on the same subject.

 

Oddly, I feel a little guilty and a little intimidated when I think God knows that I don't believe in him or have doubts about him. Sounds self-conflicted...

 

Anyway, feel good to get it out.

 

Thanks for reading!

Edited March 17, 2010 by Q&Q (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

feeling pressure to return a favor means you feel this is a moral transaction and not an act of unconditional love. It's all in the head.

 

Would you rather a person "pray" or just "do" for you? If the latter, than that can include much more than just prayer but often brings more feelings of guilt to return it. You have to move beyond guilt, which the church is often good at spreading.

 

First accept yourself as originally good and not evil. If you can't do that, you may find it hard to get rid of the guilt.

 

We are all connected on an energetic level. There is no guilt in energy; energy is just movement and connection. Anything added to that is man made.

 

This is an appeal to the concept of dao. There is a process which governs all life, down to rock and dirt. It unites all of us. At the same time, it does not elevate any one of us. Man is less a speck of dirt within the universe. So don't get too carried away with mad made issues. Once your gone, the only thing which will show you any tribute is the rest of creation which absorbed you.

[Batmaniac]

I am not religious in the least. But I am always open to anyone who wants to pray for me to do so! However, I take seriously very few people who have said this in conversation to me. I mean VERY few.

 

However, if Kyle said this to me, I would believe him!

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

I grew up Catholic. Today I am a light foot Catholic. I still observe the Lenten Holidays is the closest thing to being a Catholic I guess. If I say I will pray for someone I should mean it. If not you are not being honest with the person in prayer and your not being honest with yourself. There is Power in Prayer. I know this 1st hand.

[chilton747]

 

 

I admit that I'm more interested in Christianity than ever before.

 

 

 

Oddly, I feel a little guilty and a little intimidated when I think God knows that I don't believe in him or have doubts about him.

 

 

 

To me, these 2 sentences stand out in your post. This is how God works. He penetrates your heart and your soul. Be on the look out for He may be talking to you.

 

I don't think your Christian friends are pressuring you. They like to share their good news with others. No need to feel guilty by saying no you do not want to go to church. I am sure they understand that you are not ready yet.

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

 

 

I admit that I'm more interested in Christianity than ever before.

 

 

 

Oddly, I feel a little guilty and a little intimidated when I think God knows that I don't believe in him or have doubts about him.

 

 

 

To me, these 2 sentences stand out in your post. This is how God works. He penetrates your heart and your soul. Be on the look out for He may be talking to you.

 

I don't think your Christian friends are pressuring you. They like to share their good news with others. No need to feel guilty by saying no you do not want to go to church. I am sure they understand that you are not ready yet.

God never said you should go to church or be religous. He said that we worship Him and Glorify His Name.

[heyjimi]

feeling pressure to return a favor means you feel this is a moral transaction and not an act of unconditional love. It's all in the head.

 

Would you rather a person "pray" or just "do" for you? If the latter, than that can include much more than just prayer but often brings more feelings of guilt to return it. You have to move beyond guilt, which the church is often good at spreading.

 

First accept yourself as originally good and not evil. If you can't do that, you may find it hard to get rid of the guilt.

 

We are all connected on an energetic level. There is no guilt in energy; energy is just movement and connection. Anything added to that is man made.

 

This is an appeal to the concept of dao. There is a process which governs all life, down to rock and dirt. It unites all of us. At the same time, it does not elevate any one of us. Man is less a speck of dirt within the universe. So don't get too carried away with mad made issues. Once your gone, the only thing which will show you any tribute is the rest of creation which absorbed you.

 

Well if i say "i will pray for you"it means just that,i will put you in my prayers,.....as far as praying....or having someone do something for you....sometimes theres nothing a human can do,but pray,take for example a friend who is terminally sick, thats where one would pray and hand it over to God.....as far as evil and good.....we can all pretend that evil doesnt exist,but unfortunetly it does exist,just read the newspapers,history books,a look in the mirror.true I think all people have good in them,but at the same time also have bad in them,just the nature of the beast........

"creation absorbing you " i think you watched Avatar too many times

[david_dawei]

feeling pressure to return a favor means you feel this is a moral transaction and not an act of unconditional love. It's all in the head.

 

Would you rather a person "pray" or just "do" for you? If the latter, than that can include much more than just prayer but often brings more feelings of guilt to return it. You have to move beyond guilt, which the church is often good at spreading.

 

First accept yourself as originally good and not evil. If you can't do that, you may find it hard to get rid of the guilt.

 

We are all connected on an energetic level. There is no guilt in energy; energy is just movement and connection. Anything added to that is man made.

 

This is an appeal to the concept of dao. There is a process which governs all life, down to rock and dirt. It unites all of us. At the same time, it does not elevate any one of us. Man is less a speck of dirt within the universe. So don't get too carried away with mad made issues. Once your gone, the only thing which will show you any tribute is the rest of creation which absorbed you.

 

Well if i say "i will pray for you"it means just that,i will put you in my prayers,.....as far as praying....or having someone do something for you....sometimes theres nothing a human can do,but pray,take for example a friend who is terminally sick, thats where one would pray and hand it over to God.....as far as evil and good.....we can all pretend that evil doesnt exist,but unfortunetly it does exist,just read the newspapers,history books,a look in the mirror.true I think all people have good in them,but at the same time also have bad in them,just the nature of the beast........

"creation absorbing you " i think you watched Avatar too many times

Haven't see the movie yet...

 

but I was caught up in very conservative christian circles for too many years to see the problems they impose on mankind.

 

Some like to preach "evil" and keep people under their message of control. For a nation which espouses so much freedom, they are willing to imprison people emotionally (with guilt) and the spiritually (with worship).

 

I'll have no part of that anymore. There is no reason why man is evil but the environment, nature, a rock, tree, flower, food, animals, etc are not. Man is the smallest speck of the universe; time to accept that. And in the midst of that, give thanks concerning our small part.

 

We get caught up in believing life is about us... Life is for all things. Just a man's opinion; less than a dust speck among the universe.

[chilton747]

feeling pressure to return a favor means you feel this is a moral transaction and not an act of unconditional love. It's all in the head.

 

Would you rather a person "pray" or just "do" for you? If the latter, than that can include much more than just prayer but often brings more feelings of guilt to return it. You have to move beyond guilt, which the church is often good at spreading.

 

First accept yourself as originally good and not evil. If you can't do that, you may find it hard to get rid of the guilt.

 

We are all connected on an energetic level. There is no guilt in energy; energy is just movement and connection. Anything added to that is man made.

 

This is an appeal to the concept of dao. There is a process which governs all life, down to rock and dirt. It unites all of us. At the same time, it does not elevate any one of us. Man is less a speck of dirt within the universe. So don't get too carried away with mad made issues. Once your gone, the only thing which will show you any tribute is the rest of creation which absorbed you.

 

Well if i say "i will pray for you"it means just that,i will put you in my prayers,.....as far as praying....or having someone do something for you....sometimes theres nothing a human can do,but pray,take for example a friend who is terminally sick, thats where one would pray and hand it over to God.....as far as evil and good.....we can all pretend that evil doesnt exist,but unfortunetly it does exist,just read the newspapers,history books,a look in the mirror.true I think all people have good in them,but at the same time also have bad in them,just the nature of the beast........

"creation absorbing you " i think you watched Avatar too many times

Haven't see the movie yet...

 

but I was caught up in very conservative christian circles for too many years to see the problems they impose on mankind.

 

Some like to preach "evil" and keep people under their message of control. For a nation which espouses so much freedom, they are willing to imprison people emotionally (with guilt) and the spiritually (with worship).

 

I'll have no part of that anymore. There is no reason why man is evil but the environment, nature, a rock, tree, flower, food, animals, etc are not. Man is the smallest speck of the universe; time to accept that. And in the midst of that, give thanks concerning our small part.

 

We get caught up in believing life is about us... Life is for all things. Just a man's opinion; less than a dust speck among the universe.

 

David, I didn't know you were once a Pharisee...

[heyjimi]

feeling pressure to return a favor means you feel this is a moral transaction and not an act of unconditional love. It's all in the head.

 

Would you rather a person "pray" or just "do" for you? If the latter, than that can include much more than just prayer but often brings more feelings of guilt to return it. You have to move beyond guilt, which the church is often good at spreading.

 

First accept yourself as originally good and not evil. If you can't do that, you may find it hard to get rid of the guilt.

 

We are all connected on an energetic level. There is no guilt in energy; energy is just movement and connection. Anything added to that is man made.

 

This is an appeal to the concept of dao. There is a process which governs all life, down to rock and dirt. It unites all of us. At the same time, it does not elevate any one of us. Man is less a speck of dirt within the universe. So don't get too carried away with mad made issues. Once your gone, the only thing which will show you any tribute is the rest of creation which absorbed you.

 

Well if i say "i will pray for you"it means just that,i will put you in my prayers,.....as far as praying....or having someone do something for you....sometimes theres nothing a human can do,but pray,take for example a friend who is terminally sick, thats where one would pray and hand it over to God.....as far as evil and good.....we can all pretend that evil doesnt exist,but unfortunetly it does exist,just read the newspapers,history books,a look in the mirror.true I think all people have good in them,but at the same time also have bad in them,just the nature of the beast........

"creation absorbing you " i think you watched Avatar too many times

Haven't see the movie yet...

 

but I was caught up in very conservative christian circles for too many years to see the problems they impose on mankind.

 

Some like to preach "evil" and keep people under their message of control. For a nation which espouses so much freedom, they are willing to imprison people emotionally (with guilt) and the spiritually (with worship).

 

I'll have no part of that anymore. There is no reason why man is evil but the environment, nature, a rock, tree, flower, food, animals, etc are not. Man is the smallest speck of the universe; time to accept that. And in the midst of that, give thanks concerning our small part.

 

We get caught up in believing life is about us... Life is for all things. Just a man's opinion; less than a dust speck among the universe.

 

David, I didn't know you were once a Pharisee...

 

I lived in a hurricane and experienced an earthquake,and i tell you what,nature can be a bitch.

I do agree man is just a small part of this big universe,and for me that is exactly why i became a christian...because i felt life wasnt all about me,there was someone...something greater than me...some look at the creator,and some look at the creation.I am perplexed about the whole guilt thing you bring you up about christianity?

 

jimi

[Kyle]

Haven't see the movie yet...

 

but I was caught up in very conservative christian circles for too many years to see the problems they impose on mankind.

 

Some like to preach "evil" and keep people under their message of control. For a nation which espouses so much freedom, they are willing to imprison people emotionally (with guilt) and the spiritually (with worship).

 

I'll have no part of that anymore. There is no reason why man is evil but the environment, nature, a rock, tree, flower, food, animals, etc are not. Man is the smallest speck of the universe; time to accept that. And in the midst of that, give thanks concerning our small part.

 

We get caught up in believing life is about us... Life is for all things. Just a man's opinion; less than a dust speck among the universe.

 

There is a misconception that Christians are perfect. Maybe that's why it seems the news media loves to point out a Christian with their mistakes.

 

The fact is that a Christian will be the first to tell you that they aren't perfect. That, in essence, is why they became a Christian in the first place. My guilt for the things I did in my energetic youthful past, were reasons why I became a Christian. No, a church didn't guilt me, my conscience did. My conscience did because I started to believe in something bigger than myself.

 

Churches aren't perfect either. Why? Because they are made up of imperfect people.

 

Society is quick to use a church as a scapegoat for their (more times than not real reason) unwillingness to trade their desires for God's desires. Again, this is just my opinion. This, speaking from personal experience, was exactly why it too me so long to become a Christian.

 

When I read the teachings of Jesus, I see a message of love and forgiveness - not one of guilt. In fact, the Bible states repetitively that we no longer have to feel guilty because we've been forgiven. Perhaps it does state it repetitively because truthfully, although it is not difficult for God to forgive us, it is often difficult for us to forgive ourselves - which is a separate issue entirely.

 

I've never had a church family guilt me into anything. I'm sorry, David, that you had that experience.

 

Although I am saddened by David's past experience and to be honest, if his account is accurate (and I'm not doubting his account), I can understand his feelings however, to use the same brush to paint every church family well that's not really fair. As I type that, I do acknowledge David's feelings as hurt feelings can sometimes lead to blanket assumptions - I know it has for myself. I also respect your beliefs David. You need to know that.

 

As far as praying is concerned. I've never felt pressure to return a favor. I guess I simply feel honored that someone trusts me enough to ask for my prayers (that someone values me enough). Prayer is the lifeblood of a Christian, which is why we are instructed to pray without ceasing - something I am not perfect at.

 

It is a very humbling thing to hear someone is praying for you. To know you are loved enough by someone else for them to pray on your behalf, is one of the greatest examples (and actions) of love someone could express.

 

If it is possible, when someone asks for me to pray for them, I typically, like to stop what I'm doing and pray with them. Again, there have been times when someone asked me to pray for them and "oppps" it slipped my mind and I forgot to do so (which is why I now try to do it immediately). My forgetfulness wasn't intentional, I'm just human and I make mistakes. Praying for someone is a wonderful aspect of serving that person. Should your service stop there? I don't think so but I do think your service toward another person should always start there. I as a Christian have faith that I've been shown grace for some of the crummy things I used to do (and things I still struggle with but try not to do). It's kind of like I stole a car and the owner of the car said, I'm not pressing charges. Well, I feel a deep sense of relief and gratitude. This gratitude easily motivates me to pray for others when I'm asked, to help serve others when needed, etc.

 

Again, I'm not perfect in implementing what I've written above. I just do the best I can.

Edited March 19, 2010 by Kyle (see edit history)