I need surgery

[griz326]

I have a hernia requiring surgery. It is a relatively minor surgery today; 3-4 months from now it could be worse. It hurts a little every day, but some days it is very painful. I don't want her to return before she gets her retirement, but I don't want to wait to have the surgery.

 

(I'm sure) She thinks it is her job to be with me. How do I convince her that this is trivial if we do the surgery now?

 

Suggestions?

Edited February 2, 2010 by griz326 (see edit history)

[tonado]

Don't wait. Have the surgery. If she wants to come back, then let her.

[warpedbored]

Just get it done and it will be too late for her to come.

[ShaQuaNew]

I have a hernia requiring surgery. It is a relatively minor surgery today; 3-4 months from now it could be worse. It hurts a little every day, but some days it is very painful. I don't want her to return before she gets her retirement, but I don't want to wait to have the surgery.

 

(I'm sure) She thinks it is her job to be with me. How do I convince her that this is trivial if we do the surgery now?

 

Suggestions?

 

I've had hernias repaired a few times. Mine were inguinal type. Born with one on the right, and later developed one on the left. The inguinal canal runs just to the right and left of your package. Eventually they got it fixed, but had to add some mesh to strengthen the wall.

 

It really depends on the type of hernia you have. There are weak wall hernias, where the intestine pushes against it, causing a bulge. Another more serious type is where the wall is actually perforated. That type can be life-threatening and nothing to mess with.

[chengdu4me]

Do the same thing she would do. Don't share bad news. Have the surgery, keep your mouth shut about it until she returns. Between cell phones and laptops, there is no reason for her to even know you are in the hospital. Perhaps it is day surgery and you will be come that evening for the webcam call?

[Stepbrow]

Just get it done and it will be too late for her to come.

 

 

Do the same thing she would do. Don't share bad news. Have the surgery, keep your mouth shut about it until she returns. Between cell phones and laptops, there is no reason for her to even know you are in the hospital. Perhaps it is day surgery and you will be come that evening for the webcam call?

 

 

I'm with these guys. Just get it done.

[Yuanyang]

Just get it done and it will be too late for her to come.

 

 

Do the same thing she would do. Don't share bad news. Have the surgery, keep your mouth shut about it until she returns. Between cell phones and laptops, there is no reason for her to even know you are in the hospital. Perhaps it is day surgery and you will be come that evening for the webcam call?

 

 

I'm with these guys. Just get it done.

Same here guy, get it fixed and tell her later.

[dnoblett]

My uncle had surgery for that, it was out-patient. Nearly Zero recovery, it may be different in China where most hospital visits entail recovery time in hospital.

 

I would tell her operations like this in the USA are like having a tooth pulled, very little recovery involved.

[Guest Pommey]

get it fixed and you guys stop lifting things you are all too old

[Mick]

In China it is usually the family's responsibility to take care of their own when they are in the hospital. This includes cooking for them, cleaning them, etc. Does she understand that it is different in the States....?

 

Maybe she feels there will be no one there to care for you.

[ShaQuaNew]

Griz,

 

You know, when it comes to Chinese culture and you're own inner feelings, I suggest that unless it's an absolute emergency to wait until you're wife is with you before going under the knife. Even though most hernia operations are minor in nature, they still require anesthesia. All surgeries like that are traumatic, both emotionally and physically. No man, or woman wants to face the prospect of surgery at any level when they're husband, wife, or loved ones aren't there.

 

She asked you to wait, so wait. You'll be glad you did.

[Sam and Fen]

Griz,

 

You know, when it comes to Chinese culture and you're own inner feelings, I suggest that unless it's an absolute emergency to wait until you're wife is with you before going under the knife. Even though most hernia operations are minor in nature, they still require anesthesia. All surgeries like that are traumatic, both emotionally and physically. No man, or woman wants to face the prospect of surgery at any level when they're husband, wife, or loved ones aren't there.

 

She asked you to wait, so wait. You'll be glad you did.

 

 

One other thing to add to that,

You already told her about you needing surgery and she asked you to wait for her.

If you get it done without her being there you might be back in the hospital when she gets back.

[warpedbored]

In my opinion this is the bottom line.

It is a relatively minor surgery today; 3-4 months from now it could be worse.

Whether she is there or not you should do what is best for yourself. Your health is ultimately your own responsibility.

[griz326]

She agreed that because it hurts me, I should have it fixed immediately.

 

She was relieved when I told her that the surgery in the USA was relatively minor.

 

Thank you for your thoughts.