Divorce of Parents

[timb]

Last night my girlfriend informed me that her parents have divorced. Apparently it was the mothers decision, and as told to me, the mother is happy about it. Her father and younger brother work in another city. My girlfriend waited a few days to tell me and was a little worried how I would react. Her mother has three daughters, and one son, the son is the youngest of the family.

 

I thought about it and didn't see any direct effect on our relationship. Does anyone see something I do not?

[A Mafan]

Last night my girlfriend informed me that her parents have divorced. Apparently it was the mothers decision, and as told to me, the mother is happy about it. Her father and younger brother work in another city. My girlfriend waited a few days to tell me and was a little worried how I would react. Her mother has three daughters, and one son, the son is the youngest of the family.

 

I thought about it and didn't see any direct effect on our relationship. Does anyone see something I do not?

I think you're right.

 

But she feels a loss of face.

 

Divorce is still frowned upon in China. People are expected to find a way to work things out.

 

She may be afraid that you will judge her by her parents' marriage failure, perhaps decide she is damaged fruit from the tree of her parents' failed marriage?

 

She might not be able to put it into words, so asking her directly might not help. Dunno.

[timb]

You may be right. After telling me she asked me if I love her... Kind of ironic also because she just finished shopping for new clothes for them for the new year, and this was also their "Benming" year.

 

I thought there might be something wrong with the relationship when I was in Shenyang. Just a few days before were to go visit her family, and for me the first time meeting them, her father called her. All I knew at that time, is my girlfriend crying. Later she told me her dad was not coming to the meeting. I don't think it was job related, more perhaps to do with not wanting to be with the mother. Later he changed his mind and went. I did get he feeling that all was not right.

 

 

 

 

Last night my girlfriend informed me that her parents have divorced. Apparently it was the mothers decision, and as told to me, the mother is happy about it. Her father and younger brother work in another city. My girlfriend waited a few days to tell me and was a little worried how I would react. Her mother has three daughters, and one son, the son is the youngest of the family.

 

I thought about it and didn't see any direct effect on our relationship. Does anyone see something I do not?

I think you're right.

 

But she feels a loss of face.

 

Divorce is still frowned upon in China. People are expected to find a way to work things out.

 

She may be afraid that you will judge her by her parents' marriage failure, perhaps decide she is damaged fruit from the tree of her parents' failed marriage?

 

She might not be able to put it into words, so asking her directly might not help. Dunno.

[xiaofeizhu]

I don't think it will have much of an effect on your relationship, but what she probably needs most is your support and reassurance. As long as she knows that you still love her no matter what and that you don't "look down" her because of what happened, I am sure things will be ok. She probably has a lot of emotions about it, though, so as long as you are understanding of how she might act differently during this tough time, your relationship will probably come out stronger as you get through it together.

[timb]

Yes, your right. I told her very much the same, that this does not effect us. Thanks for the input.

 

I don't think it will have much of an effect on your relationship, but what she probably needs most is your support and reassurance. As long as she knows that you still love her no matter what and that you don't "look down" her because of what happened, I am sure things will be ok. She probably has a lot of emotions about it, though, so as long as you are understanding of how she might act differently during this tough time, your relationship will probably come out stronger as you get through it together.

[NewDay2006]

Sorry to hear this. Divorce is never a nice thing. I wish all concerned the best.

 

 

 

Yes, your right. I told her very much the same, that this does not effect us. Thanks for the input.

 

I don't think it will have much of an effect on your relationship, but what she probably needs most is your support and reassurance. As long as she knows that you still love her no matter what and that you don't "look down" her because of what happened, I am sure things will be ok. She probably has a lot of emotions about it, though, so as long as you are understanding of how she might act differently during this tough time, your relationship will probably come out stronger as you get through it together.