regional differences in temperament

[TLB]

Based on a quote from DZX in another thread:

 

"Her city/province ; may help in understanding her background and psychological side."

 

This got me thinking about my SO and, since we're still early in our relationship (8 months email, one visit, second visit in January), whether some insight into regional temperament could be something I could learn from. If nothing else, maybe this could serve as a springboard for some discussion about perceptions of such differences.

 

Given, of course, the truisms about generalizations and that they'll be taken with a grain of salt and don't necessarily apply to my SO, let me lay this out and see if anyone has anything to say:

 

1. Location: Liaoning Province, city of Yingkou (so, an urban northeasterner).

 

2. Education: two-year college degree in accounting and management (also in Yingkou). Her parents were both teachers (high school I think) and live in nearby Liaoyang.

 

3. Age: 52. She has an older sister and a younger sister.

 

4. Offspring: one son, 20, in university in Japan (computer science).

 

5. Previous marriage: once. She has been a widow for about 15 years.

 

6. English ability: none.

 

7. financial: she is retired and lives on a small (but according to her, sufficient) pension. She owns her apartment in Yingkou. So far, she has not let me send her money.

 

To me, she is very playful, loves to laugh, quite talkative (man, the Liaoning accent is tough for me!), and outgoing. I don't know how much of this is thought to be "typical" of that region/generation...

 

Any thoughts?

[shushuweiwei]

Based on a quote from DZX in another thread:

 

"Her city/province ; may help in understanding her background and psychological side."

 

This got me thinking about my SO and, since we're still early in our relationship (8 months email, one visit, second visit in January), whether some insight into regional temperament could be something I could learn from. If nothing else, maybe this could serve as a springboard for some discussion about perceptions of such differences.

 

Given, of course, the truisms about generalizations and that they'll be taken with a grain of salt and don't necessarily apply to my SO, let me lay this out and see if anyone has anything to say:

 

1. Location: Liaoning Province, city of Yingkou (so, an urban northeasterner).

 

2. Education: two-year college degree in accounting and management (also in Yingkou). Her parents were both teachers (high school I think) and live in nearby Liaoyang.

 

3. Age: 52. She has an older sister and a younger sister.

 

4. Offspring: one son, 20, in university in Japan (computer science).

 

5. Previous marriage: once. She has been a widow for about 15 years.

 

6. English ability: none.

 

7. financial: she is retired and lives on a small (but according to her, sufficient) pension. She owns her apartment in Yingkou. So far, she has not let me send her money.

 

To me, she is very playful, loves to laugh, quite talkative (man, the Liaoning accent is tough for me!), and outgoing. I don't know how much of this is thought to be "typical" of that region/generation...

 

Any thoughts?

 

no profound thoughts but just to let you know my wife is from Yingkou, I believe xishi district but she is here in the US now. My wife is 33. Playful, funny, loves to laugh but a bit shy. Don't know if that's a trend or a coincidence. If your gf wants to speak with a Yingkou girl who made it through the process let me know and I'll ask my wife.

 

Good Luck to you both.

[david_dawei]

Like many of my posts.. I may regret that one... but not as much as I'm going to regret this next one

 

Yingkou is in the northeast, so she understands the four seasons [of life]. She is also on the sea board, so the ocean air shows on her face and influences her internally. She is middle born of three girls; well insulated. 52 and widowed so has weathered life the same as the weather she knows around her. Studied Accounting... go figure... Her lack of english is your only concern for the interview.

[david_dawei]

Here I am at my worst.. stereotypical based on location and geography... In fact, I would say much more but I'm not sure anyone truly even wants to read this part:

 

Village girls from china: She has about three options for her future:

1. Leave school early to work the field the rest of her life

2. Stay in school and get a good education and keep climbing

3. Marry a guy in a higher strata to improve your future

 

Gotta love the simplicity of the village girl¡­ free of decisions and issues regarding law. Her law is wake up at 5am to help the house with farming or child care issues. Go to school, if time permits, but hurry home since the field, animals, or family needs you. But keep your eye on the neighboring city and be always ready to jump the bus and work there¡­ any job will do. School requires money and grades, who has time for that¡­ Time to go on the proverbial ¡®lam¡¯ of life.

 

The last option is the golden egg and has become a global picking ground for gullible western men willing to take any girl who seems ignorant of western trappings and not caught up in the seriously mental issues that come with the intoxication of western living. The village girl is the oatmeal of breakfast; hardy wakeup food and smooth through the GI tract but not enough fuel food for modern man¡­ unless he is spending too much time saving whales by trying to push them back into the sea.

 

Small City Girl (SCG) from china. She thinks she has a few options since she plays cards as they are dealt:

1. Stay in school, study hard. And make my parents proud

2. Stay with this guy¡­ and maybe we have a future

3. My friends are fun¡­ but I hope there is someone out there

4. Maybe I could move to another city¡­

5. I¡¯m tired of internet games¡­ maybe I should visit that dating site

The small city girl is as naïve as the 1940s girl¡­ She believes anything and tell anything along the way. She knows others who have ¡°done it¡± (yes, both sex and married western men; often that comes hand in hand). Yet she is like the swarming millions fighting to get to the surface for some air; push anyone else down as needed¡­ except family.. Well.. most of the time.

 

If she¡¯s smart or has too much family pressure, she stays in school and away from adolescent compromises and loses her youth and later wonders where it went. She goes to KTV too often with friends as an outlet. If too poor, she rides a bike the old fashion way; she pedals. Her neighbors have more money and go electric now. On a dark night, she might ¡®borrow¡¯ someone¡¯s electric bike since it will let her sleep in longer. She is the ballast of society, and particularly Chinese boys who will drag her to his fancy of awful pool playing and drinking binges with his buddies. She puts up with that and wonders if there is a trade-up for her future. Her friends tell her they will post her ID and write all her emails since she cannot speak enough English to any western man¡­ soon, a guy is unknowingly talking to up to three woman and drools over his ¡®catch¡¯. Hard to figure out whom really threw the first hook¡­ But seems both are willing to take the first fish.

 

She could be like the nurse shark, a bottom dweller without much movement; or the stingray, watch out for her tail. Maybe a dolphin that jumps and everyone adores. Maybe a trout, swimming up current during harsh winter times. Maybe a sea lion, adorable and with many tricks. Maybe one of those schools of fishes who always want to be among a herd. Maybe a spirited type which jumps out of the water, or the quiet type which nurtures the young.

 

Big City Girl (BCG) from china: She has about two options for her future since she has decided as such:

1. Stay in school and keep the idealism that city offers¡­ find a good, well to do guy and make the rest of life good.

2. Get out of dodge¡­ ¡°Go West Young Lady¡±¡­ She has what it takes to do it¡­ and she¡¯ll convince you as well. She sold her parents on it, like ¡®duh¡¯¡­

The (BCG) is so confident at times, she could tell Trump, ¡°Your Fired!¡±. She would not go on Survivor since that is a show for people who are not sure who survives. Grab the bat at the bottom and swing as natural as you can. And meet us at KTV for some singing after an evening of dancing fun. She throws the first hook in a direction where big fish are known to feed. She decides what to keep or what to throw back. Watch her budget since It¡¯s bigger than the US Government.

 

I guess one could talk geography:

The deep north east is a floral pasture turns frozen tundra each year¡­ Millennia ago, this was a tropic area now home to an ice cap. Seasonal cycles rule life. Some are so far north their ancestors are Russian¡­ History would say the northern nomadic barbaric tribes, Xiongnu.. or Manchu. If you meet these girls¡­ you¡¯d say Russian-Chinese will do. And they will surprise you with their cold heart ability to melt you.

 

The lower north east has some of the oldest Neolithic settlements and the people know their historic roots. They know its cold and north and savor the warm seasons and the sea. And accept the cold as a part of life as a part of life.

 

The capital, Beijing should scare anyone way. But scarier are the few cities near by which think since they are so close to the capital they must be better then the rest! They hold to this very strong ethic to avoid admitting the poverty they face. Confucianism is never more strong than here.

 

The wide middle earth is home to the fabled yellow river (incorrect history, but let¡¯s not go there), stories are best believed not questioned¡­ Warm food¡­ warm hearts. Spicy foods¡­ spicy hearts¡­ Mix in the pressures of education, work, and future. Insolated from border wars for millennia allows them to soak in the earth. Buddhism finds a home easily here.

 

Coastal areas teem with optimism. Maybe it is the waters they look at which they believe extend to unknown shores. There are thousands of years of sea faring stories. Maybe it¡¯s just the ocean air which seems to refresh one so easy. Ladies near the water are said to be the most beautiful due to the moisture content. But if you¡¯re from Fujian, be prepared for pre-ordained judgment of immigration intent as a castaway. Blame your forefathers. Yes, I avoided mentioning Shanghai, they won¡¯t even speak Chinese.

 

The South has a long history of isolation from the capital¡­ and they may be the originator of the song, ¡°I¡¯ll do it my way¡±. Far from law means free to do as you want. The earliest westerns to come to china from Europe for trade realized the only way to fit in was through bribes. Money buys a port, and merchants at heart. They learned anything can be bought for a price.

 

The creation of Shenzhen as an economic zone means lots of jobs and also much less family or social ¡®face¡¯ pressures. If you didn¡¯t grow up in a city where everyone knows you, then nobody really cares what you do. It¡¯s a dog eat dog city.

 

Guangzhou ! I love going to a restaurant and picking my sea kill before I eat it. I can even give them names before I eat them. But I admire the northerners who can own a dog and still eat dog meat!

 

Rounding up west to the idyllic western Yunnan , where majority groups have made a tourist trap of the area. But where natives can breathe the natural mountain air and be reminded of their closeness to the universe. Daoism is in the air. Peace and goodwill to all men.

[knloregon]

My view is if you view this in geographic terms, you're likely (my opinion) barking up the wrong tree.

 

My experience with the women of my Wife's world is its so much more generational than geographic, that I sometimes think they could be from different countries, "separated by a common language" ie. US/GB.

 

Wife's mother, Cantonese village beauty swept off her feet by the young Hunan PLA officer liberating her village in Guangdong-----late 1940's , the whole privation and atrocities of the Japanese occupation, the Kuomingtang, fresh in her memory,and how that that affected the whole family, and hope-against-hope, a chance for happiness..

 

Older sister, (10 years older), the daughter of the local college president, a regional Party leader, living on campus----real hunger during the famine of 1960. but no starvation on campus, looking forward the fun of HS, and to a college education, but instead, caught up in the Cultural Revolution, along with her father, and both sent to the countryside to work the fields. She loses virtually all her teen years to hard labor (15-18). Comes back, hard but strong.

 

Wife: Raised by grandparents, during the time Father was in 're-education' , well protected, but not so well fed. Still, very happy memories of childhood, and reunion of family after CR.

 

Niece (sister's daughter) ---- brought up hard, and practical, but also without material want in Guangdong, and educated in the family tradition---except breaks with families' hatred of the Japanese, attributed to cartoon time in front of the TV as a child, becomes a language specialist, visits Japan, headed for grad. school, and by far, the most politically moderate (but not in western 'liberal' terms) of this family of very strong women.

 

Each shaped by experiences----as different as China was during their individual formative years. The secret to understanding each, in my opinion, is to attempt to understand the generational experience that each of these women shared with their peers, if that is possible, since each was shaped by a specific chapter in modern China's formation.

 

When we sit down to eat, the only unifying theme is family. but that theme is so impressively strong, and so different from American family, that I will sit there, at the table, and simply marvel.....

[david_dawei]

I would agree that it's not geographical if we also agreed it was not generational... meaning... it's beyond all this.

 

It's multi-dimensional... I've only presented but a small sub-section one could consider. One can keep breaking it down further and further. I don't feel I need to give every single last dimension of it.

 

But for some... it seems that none of this is relevant at all... I'm not sure what tree they are barking up though...

[Guest Pommey]

David marry a Yunnan woman Bai minority, 35+ and settle in Dali, fish, grow veggies and knit sweaters for tourists.

[TLB]

 

It's multi-dimensional... I've only presented but a small sub-section one could consider. One can keep breaking it down further and further. I don't feel I need to give every single last dimension of it.

 

 

 

 

I agree with you David, it's both generational and geographical, and of course as Westerners we have to leave lots of room for our beloved individuality!

 

One way of putting it is that we all grow -- yes, individually of course -- out of a certain ground, and that ground is conditioned by, among other things, generation and geography (as well as the generation and geography of our parents). I look at this ground not as a limiting factor, but rather as that which makes my individuality possible.

 

I have not spoken with Meng about the Cultural Revolution, nor of her husband's death and her subsequent raising of her son without a husband/father. She has said we will speak of these things "slowly." But I am convinced that her "nature" and life's attitudes, individual as they are, were formed in the cauldron of those experiences, and those of her friends, neighbors, and family.

[david_dawei]

David marry a Yunnan woman Bai minority, 35+ and settle in Dali, fish, grow veggies and knit sweaters for tourists.

Yep, I think Norman Rockwell would of liked to do some paintings of Yunnan

 

 

One way of putting it is that we all grow -- yes, individually of course -- out of a certain ground, and that ground is conditioned by, among other things, generation and geography (as well as the generation and geography of our parents). I look at this ground not as a limiting factor, but rather as that which makes my individuality possible.

Not sure if you mean ground as in 'mother earth' or more like the universe but I get the idea. I think that syncs with my theory of the external world's influences impact our internal 'wiring', making us uniquely based on events we face and experiences we have. I've come to see that it's a survival mechanism that exists in nature and in man. (In chinese philosophy, I would call that dao; it's the way of nature). A constant re-wiring occurs to ensure a way of survival. Too many factors involved but there are general categories like generation and geography, age, gender, etc within which we can understand on some small (albeit, unfair to generalize) level.

 

I have not spoken with Meng about the Cultural Revolution, nor of her husband's death and her subsequent raising of her son without a husband/father. She has said we will speak of these things "slowly." But I am convinced that her "nature" and life's attitudes, individual as they are, were formed in the cauldron of those experiences, and those of her friends, neighbors, and family.

Yes, life's influences profoundly impact us all. Interesting to me is, how it affects a people who are more 'group' oriented (who find security in the herd) as opposed to a people who are more 'individual (and find more security in self). That's another influence often forgotten.

 

Yes, she will talk in time. There's a season for everything.

[chilton747]

David marry a Yunnan woman Bai minority, 35+ and settle in Dali, fish, grow veggies and knit sweaters for tourists.

Yep, I think Norman Rockwell would of liked to do some paintings of Yunnan

 

 

One way of putting it is that we all grow -- yes, individually of course -- out of a certain ground, and that ground is conditioned by, among other things, generation and geography (as well as the generation and geography of our parents). I look at this ground not as a limiting factor, but rather as that which makes my individuality possible.

Not sure if you mean ground as in 'mother earth' or more like the universe but I get the idea. I think that syncs with my theory of the external world's influences impact our internal 'wiring', making us uniquely based on events we face and experiences we have. I've come to see that it's a survival mechanism that exists in nature and in man. (In chinese philosophy, I would call that dao; it's the way of nature). A constant re-wiring occurs to ensure a way of survival. Too many factors involved but there are general categories like generation and geography, age, gender, etc within which we can understand on some small (albeit, unfair to generalize) level.

 

I have not spoken with Meng about the Cultural Revolution, nor of her husband's death and her subsequent raising of her son without a husband/father. She has said we will speak of these things "slowly." But I am convinced that her "nature" and life's attitudes, individual as they are, were formed in the cauldron of those experiences, and those of her friends, neighbors, and family.

Yes, life's influences profoundly impact us all. Interesting to me is, how it affects a people who are more 'group' oriented (who find security in the herd) as opposed to a people who are more 'individual (and find more security in self). That's another influence often forgotten.

 

Yes, she will talk in time. There's a season for everything.

 

 

As her English skills get better then you will learn more. My wife and I have know each other for over 5 years now. I am still getting bits and pieces about her's and her family's life. Be prepared for some very interesting conversations.

Then you will begin to understand why she acts the way she does.

[steveandrong]

Personally, I don't think there is any more regional difference in the CHinese women (or men for that matter) than there is regional differences in American men (or women for that matter also)...think about it...in every walk of society you are gonna find high strung people, laid back people, angry people, easy going people, poor people, rich people.....I think maybe it is even more extreme in America because of all the different races and cultures.....people here from maybe every country in the world tryin or not trying to mix...each person is the result of their upbringing, life experiences, environment and taught values in life...i'm sure i am forgetting a few of the variables, but i'm you you all get my drift on this....and i'm sure most people have a preconcieved mindset about people from other regions of the usa as well as from other countries of the world....i think you are wasting your time trying to figure it all out because there are wonderful people from all walks of life, from all countries and regions of those countries just as well as each state, region or province or city has its fair share of jerks......my opinions are free...no need pay money

[Guest Pommey]

I think there are provincal characteristcs as there is here too, and there are ethnic characteristics too.

Edited December 8, 2009 by Pommey (see edit history)

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

I have had the wonderful opportunity to travel and visit 11 Chinese cities. I found the Northern part of China (Liaoning Province) to be heavy industrialzed and with very rugged individuals, Blue Collar. It reminded me of Northern part of the US from Buffalo to Gary, Indiana. Heavy steel mills, coal processing and very cold weather.

Nanning the southern part reminds me of Atlanta, GA the American South. People there seemed much more refined and better educated.

I guess life were ever you make it is life.

[chilton747]

If I was to tell my wife I did not believe that there were geographical differences in the Chinese, I would get the MSS out of me!

 

Thanks David!

[Guest Pommey]

If I was to tell my wife I did not believe that there were geographical differences in the Chinese, I would get the MSS out of me!

 

Thanks David!

 

 

looks like the beard is coming along nicely Chawls, you playing bluegrass now