engagement ring

[Guest Pommey]

Why is his mum sending money over there ? is she co-sponsoring your petitition too ?

 

does he have proof of domicile in USA and last 3 years tax returns/transcripts ?

 

As far as a ring goes that is up to you two.

[Quinque]

Why is his mum sending money over there ? is she co-sponsoring your petitition too ?

 

does he have proof of domicile in USA and last 3 years tax returns/transcripts ?

 

As far as a ring goes that is up to you two.

 

She is co-sponsoring bc he is self employed and took a lot of deductions on his taxes not knowing it would effect how they see his income. He left his checkbook with her and she has been writing checks out from his account to hers so she can do the money wire for us, he has direct deposit too.

 

As far as proof of domicile, he has been renting out the apartment in his moms house as storage while he has been staying with me and gets all his bills/bank statements there. That address is also where he filed his taxes from so it all connects, the thing is tho we only got the last 2 years tax returns/transcripts together bc that was what we were reading online is good enough...

[Dan-Juan]

I wanted simple rings because this is my first marriage and im not fooling around. She wanted me to wear a ring so every other woman out there would know to stay away

 

I think it is important for therelationship if you want rings, and you would be wearing it anyway i hope

[Quinque]

The interview is all about documentation.

 

Your love, between you two, is everything.

 

A ring is nothing.

 

But, you plan to live in America? White is not a color of death, it is purity. There are more 'nutty' things in America. Jewelry is another one.

 

In USA, the cost of beautiful flowers is not important, the statement is. The obvious symbol of waste is relevant. Go figure practicality.

 

The token gift of an expensive ring, the pure white fidelity of a wedding dress, love captured in a rose?

 

A pathetic fight against the ring symbol is acceptable and warranted. You are a Chinese woman. But yield politely and recognize the meaning.

 

The ring is VERY meaningful. It's expenditure required months of labor. It demonstrates commitment, PUBLICLY. It comes from the heart. While a clear waste of resources, its rejection is tremendous hurt for him.

 

It hurts you little, so accept it. Put up with a stupid tradition, smile. Remind yourself of his love when you see his picture or when you see the ring on your finger.

 

Thank you for such an interesting and thought-provoking reply... Well, first of all, it has been my fiance that has been posting threads here... I'm not sure why he pretended to be me, perhaps because women tend to get more attention and help? XD

 

As for the engagement ring... It's not like that I'm stingy, I just don't think it's that necessary for the interview and I'm not really into girly jewelry. Believe me, our commitment is so much more than what a diamond can demonstrate, and his heart is not that fragile,lol. What is the most meaningful to me is the fresh green tea and delicious hot meal he makes for me everyday, and how he does a lot of chores and goes grocery shopping, and how we would always support and take care of each other during all these years' ups and downs. He made lots of efforts for my visa thing( I, at the same time, basically didn't do anything XD) and my interview is finally coming tomorrow morning, I hope everything goes well with me.

[tsap seui]

Quinque, I agree with you about rings, and a ring certainly isn't a deal breaker at your interview.

 

Best wishes for a successful interview.

 

tsap seui

[Mike and Yan]

 

Thank you for such an interesting and thought-provoking reply... Well, first of all, it has been my fiance that has been posting threads here... I'm not sure why he pretended to be me, perhaps because women tend to get more attention and help? XD

 

 

 

toss yer fiance a little slap and a maxi pad as a reminder, no cross dressing!!!

 

[david_dawei]

It's a piece of evidence. I would advise these two that they NOT buy it for that reason. But if they do decide to buy one, take pictures to include with other relationship pictures and/or a copy of the receipt.

EXACTLY ! Don't buy evidence; if he hasn't bought you one up till now, why the sudden need? It speaks for itself IMO. If your not a jewelry person and have not worn one up till now, will it in anyway feel internally uncomfortable to know your wearing a ring for the VO ?

 

 

I wanted simple rings because this is my first marriage and im not fooling around. She wanted me to wear a ring so every other woman out there would know to stay away

 

I think it is important for therelationship if you want rings, and you would be wearing it anyway i hope

She talking the engagement ring for an interviewing VO and your talking wedding rings the world to see .. I think the cart is getting before the horse here. Unless she wanted you to wear an engagement ring too...

[warpedbored]

I sense this is a deeper issue than just evidence for the interview. It's value as evidence would not be of great significance but it does have value. The deeper issue is her not taking into consideration of how much it means to him. There is also the issue of once living in America People do think a married person, particularly a woman, is hiding the fact they are married if they don't wear a wedding ring. Men are also more likely to hit on her thinking she is single. Kind of like wearing your green hat. I still maintain that if it makes him happy it is a small thing for her to do for him.

[david_dawei]

I want to clarify; She is going to be the one in front of a VO; it's her face and emotions the VO sees. That is what is going to get her through the interview, not tradition. Not any amount of fiancee emotional demands of altering her comfort level.

 

She needs to be as comfortable and natural as possible. Anything which can cause her to deviate from that formula should be avoided.. including a ring.

 

That's just my opinion... for another lady who is really wanting to do it and has been wearing a ring for months or thinks this is a great addition to evidence; then I would say, ok... go for it.. but we're not talking to that other lady.

 

What they do about marriage rings is their business and I don't see it as part of the original posters question. If she wants to explore that issue, she is more than welcome to.

 

But I think we serve her best by sticking to her interview issue and hoping she's as comfortable as possible in her 5-10 minutes of 'what color is my visa going to be'.

[shadeOgray]

I sense this is a deeper issue than just evidence for the interview. It's value as evidence would not be of great significance but it does have value. The deeper issue is her not taking into consideration of how much it means to him. There is also the issue of once living in America People do think a married person, particularly a woman, is hiding the fact they are married if they don't wear a wedding ring. Men are also more likely to hit on her thinking she is single. Kind of like wearing your green hat. I still maintain that if it makes him happy it is a small thing for her to do for him.

 

You keep mentioning "green hat", what is that exactly?

Never heard that expression.

[Guest shutterbug]

[quote name='shadeOgray' date='Aug 1 2009, 04:48 AM'

...

You keep mentioning "green hat", what is that exactly?

Never heard that expression.

 

Ask your wife what the expression means in Chinese. If she won't tell you, be very concerned.

 

It is used to describe a man when others suspect or know his wife is cheating on him.