Chinese funerals

[sparkynow]

My fiancee and her daughter are scheduled to be here on 6-3. My fiancee's mother died suddenly today. I don't know how the Chinese, in a very large city, handle funerals and how much time is involved. Does anyone know? I think U.S. airlines(NWA) will give a discount to someone that needs to travel for this reason and maybe they will wave the rescheduling fee for them ,if necessary. She is a very practical woman and will tell me to not come,but I will want to,of course. Rod

[Craig and Mingjun]

Well, not to be stereotypical, but women do not have the importance of men in China, including funerals. Depending on where she is from, there may be very little ceremony for her mother. A father on the other hand, may have them tied up for months. My sweetie's father died last October, and it was two weeks before our communication returned to somewhat normal. It was months before she was able to wear her engagement ring and the sunstone necklace I gave her again.

 

The best thing would be if she has a friend you can ask about the rituals for where she lives. I do know that the younger you are, the more respect you must show (and the larger burden) at the death of an ancestor.

 

Best wishes to you to find the information you need. I understand the traditions and rituals can vary greatly from place to place in China.

[george lee]

sparkynow,

each village, family or clan has their own rituals and traditions to follow, so its best to ask your fiancee or the brothers/sisters of your fiancee on what to do. i'm sure they will point you to the right directions.

 

for my wife's grandmother, she passed away this january 2009. the mourning took place in the grandmother's house where you have families and friends paying their respects with after life offerings, paper money, paper gold and other stuffs to burn for her next life. 2 days of mourning, she was carried out, cremarated, and stored in the alter builded for her in the living room. 1 year anniversary, she is placed in a cematary as her final resting place.

during the mourning period, families who lived outside of her village must knee on their knees at the village gate and crawl to her front door before getting up. the oldest son or daugther must draw water from grandmother's well to clean the body. candles and incenses must be constant refresh, never ending the flame. white is the mourning color then follow by black. like i said, above is from my wife's village's rituals and traditions. her village is more of a clan because everyone's last name is eng, so its the eng family/clan/village.

 

just ask your fiancee or brother/sister of the fiancee and you should be ok. good luck

[Sebastian]

You might want to call NWA and get the ticket reworked for THEM, I really don't feel she'll be ready to jump on the third of June.

 

You should be able to use the bereavement argument in reverse... (They cannot fly now, they must mourn this death) - IMO, best bet for 2 weeks later, or on the 17th.

 

But - do talk with yer lass, as others have said - as customs vary widely (but grief doesn't)..

[Urkidding]

Rod,

 

Your wife has our deepest sympathy at this time. If you can afford the time and plane ticket, by all means go there, however I really don¡¯t think that you can do very much except by giving your wife the comfort and warmth that she needs from someone close to her.