"I've got to bring this from China" syndrome

[Sebastian]

let her bring what she wants... no need to start controlling her already... if there is a lesson to be learned in the long run, give her credit.. she'll learn it.

 

David, from my perspective, is no any issue of control, but of replication to match her cooking gear. If it's easy to get in USA, then it's coming home from the store, not the airport. Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

[True Blue]

let her bring what she wants... no need to start controlling her already... if there is a lesson to be learned in the long run, give her credit.. she'll learn it.

 

David, from my perspective, is no any issue of control, but of replication to match her cooking gear. If it's easy to get in USA, then it's coming home from the store, not the airport. Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

Agreed - David, I may be a newbie here and I may look like a greenhorn, but I learn from you guys here pretty quickly.

 

I understand that my marriage to a Chinese wife means that she will rule the home. My job is just to try to make her transition as easy as possible, to make her happy and to always feel special and when she starts cooking, to get whatever she needs and stay out of the way!

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

let her bring what she wants... no need to start controlling her already... if there is a lesson to be learned in the long run, give her credit.. she'll learn it.

 

David, from my perspective, is no any issue of control, but of replication to match her cooking gear. If it's easy to get in USA, then it's coming home from the store, not the airport. Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

Agreed - David, I may be a newbie here and I may look like a greenhorn, but I learn from you guys here pretty quickly.

 

I understand that my marriage to a Chinese wife means that she will rule the home. My job is just to try to make her transition as easy as possible, to make her happy and to always feel special and when she starts cooking, to get whatever she needs and stay out of the way!

 

 

You're right. It can sometimes be a delicate line to walk. We all want to provide the easiest transition possible, and to be sure, that transition is an ongoing one. I understand what David is saying, in that our best efforts, may be perceived as being controlling, even though it's not our intention. As our partners learn, and we learn, the choices will hopefully become more clear.

 

In the meantime, if your wife or partner honestly believes that buying things from China is the best way, maybe losing a few bucks for the sake of trust is a worthwhile trade off.

[Sebastian]

ShaQuaNew - what? and give up all that extra space for shoes ? mmmmmmmmmmmmm naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

ShaQuaNew - what? and give up all that extra space for shoes ? mmmmmmmmmmmmm naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

 

 

You're right about that!

 

Before Lan came to the US she shipped several boxes to the US. Most of which contained shoes.......

 

[david_dawei]

Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

where is she coming from.. Shanghai?

 

If I wanted that.. I'd marry... I'd better leave this alone

[david_dawei]

let her bring what she wants... no need to start controlling her already... if there is a lesson to be learned in the long run, give her credit.. she'll learn it.

 

David, from my perspective, is no any issue of control, but of replication to match her cooking gear. If it's easy to get in USA, then it's coming home from the store, not the airport. Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

Agreed - David, I may be a newbie here and I may look like a greenhorn, but I learn from you guys here pretty quickly.

 

I understand that my marriage to a Chinese wife means that she will rule the home. My job is just to try to make her transition as easy as possible, to make her happy and to always feel special and when she starts cooking, to get whatever she needs and stay out of the way!

 

 

You're right. It can sometimes be a delicate line to walk. We all want to provide the easiest transition possible, and to be sure, that transition is an ongoing one. I understand what David is saying, in that our best efforts, may be perceived as being controlling, even though it's not our intention. As our partners learn, and we learn, the choices will hopefully become more clear.

 

In the meantime, if your wife or partner honestly believes that buying things from China is the best way, maybe losing a few bucks for the sake of trust is a worthwhile trade off.

jesse is one of the few who understands my twisted why of posting... alot of my posting is what I believe the chinese SO might feel about some issue... I know most USCs do not have any intention of controlling their SO; but, let us not forget that they are strongly self-supporting, humanistically driven pragmatist. They do for themselves almost second to none...

 

But, believe me here (if not in the first point ), when they expect us to support them in something, they expect it as second to none; and when they expect us to take control or take charge of something, again, it's second to none.

[Sebastian]

That's Sad, David - we've hijaaked yet another thread together. YUM !

 

Oddly enough - the OP knows where to buy cooking gear, he just doesn't realize it yet. He Even Wrote the addresses in one of his prior posts. Pow Pow, Pow Pow Pow !!

[True Blue]

let her bring what she wants... no need to start controlling her already... if there is a lesson to be learned in the long run, give her credit.. she'll learn it.

 

David, from my perspective, is no any issue of control, but of replication to match her cooking gear. If it's easy to get in USA, then it's coming home from the store, not the airport. Seriously - she can use the freed up space for other things, like a 6 month supply of makeup, the extra shoes.

Agreed - David, I may be a newbie here and I may look like a greenhorn, but I learn from you guys here pretty quickly.

 

I understand that my marriage to a Chinese wife means that she will rule the home. My job is just to try to make her transition as easy as possible, to make her happy and to always feel special and when she starts cooking, to get whatever she needs and stay out of the way!

 

 

You're right. It can sometimes be a delicate line to walk. We all want to provide the easiest transition possible, and to be sure, that transition is an ongoing one. I understand what David is saying, in that our best efforts, may be perceived as being controlling, even though it's not our intention. As our partners learn, and we learn, the choices will hopefully become more clear.

 

In the meantime, if your wife or partner honestly believes that buying things from China is the best way, maybe losing a few bucks for the sake of trust is a worthwhile trade off.

jesse is one of the few who understands my twisted why of posting... alot of my posting is what I believe the chinese SO might feel about some issue... I know most USCs do not have any intention of controlling their SO; but, let us not forget that they are strongly self-supporting, humanistically driven pragmatist. They do for themselves almost second to none...

 

But, believe me here (if not in the first point ), when they expect us to support them in something, they expect it as second to none; and when they expect us to take control or take charge of something, again, it's second to none.

David, Thank you for your perspective on this. It really helps me to understand what she may be thinking from her POV and consider how my actions may be seen in her eyes. You definitely are DEAD ON in your comments about "when they expect our support ,they expect it second to none." I really appreciate everyone's advice here especially from you guys who have already been down the trail that I am about to walk. (I already learned that lesson the hard way - LOL)

 

Reminds me of the Isaac Newton quotation "If I can see farther, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants." and you veterans here are certainly the giants who have helped new guys like myself immensely.

Thank you again!

 

John