Proving a Bonifide Relationship

[tsap seui]

It's a reasonable question. and one that should be considered. As Dan said, "this is exactly the question that goes through the interviewing officer's mind." When I met my wife her English wasn't that great but I was surprised at how well we could still communicate. I knew her for 2 years before we married. We've been married now for nearly 9 years and her English while not perfect is functional. I have no idea where my pocket translator is I haven't seen it in years. I have a theory that Sino American couples sometimes communicate better than American couples. I don't have the luxury of mumbling "yes dear" while pretending to listen. I have to listen carefully to everything she says.

Buddy, there is one true statement if there ever was one!!!!! lol

 

If'n you don't listen intently, you will find yoreself in one world of hurt. This lil' Chinese woman has turned' my sorry butt into a "listener". I listened to her more in the first six months of knowin' her than I listened to two ex wives in 21 years of mariage. Whose ya momma?

 

I agree with your theory Carl. With the language difficulty we both had to work hard to understand each other, else, we'd never have gotten to know each other to begin with. I kid a lot about the wild sexually antics, but truth is, I got loads of pleasure from sitting down and talking with Wenyan too. It became a joy to sit there face to face and strive to communicate. I had no wish to go see, and be some tourist in China, Wenyan had never had a man sit and actually intently listen to her talk about her life and her dreams of a future...and I certainly had been a failure all my married life at being a listener and actively interacting with my ex's. I was a good provider but that was about it as my businesses were my real wives, sad to say that but it's the truth.

 

With Wenyan, I found this new high, and joy...like a light switched on in my head. In the first two days and carried on up to today, I became a listener, I cared, I interacted....hell, I got to know this woman. Still getting to know her and love every second of it.

 

I humbly apologize to my two ex-wives. They were good women, it was my failure to listen. Somewhere, somehow, I became a listener with Wenyan. Never been happier in my life.

 

tsap seui

[ITGeniusGuru]

 

 

I am just a little confused, because for me marriage is sanctuary. I am just pointing out my concerned. How does it feel to marry someone you haven't physically or emotionally know well,

The best course of action is to develop a relationship over time.

 

Consider this: in many parts of the world - today - many marriages are arranged by the 2 families. Sometimes, the bride and groom see each other for the first time the night of the wedding after it's all said and done. Do these marriages fail more often than marriages based on a long courtship period and co-habitation first? I doubt there are reliable statistics for that. But the way I see it, if the couple is young (or flexible), and not already set in their own rigid ways, they'll adjust to each other and change.

 

 

[MRS. GRAVESTEY]

ITGeniusGuru,

 

Yes, i agree. Different people, different culture, different point of views about marriage. Long or short term relationships are no different, it just depends on how the couple design their own relationship to work...my question to ur statement is, would it best if they had their own choice on who to marry? But anyway, who am i to question their practice.

Edited March 5, 2013 by MRS. GRAVESTEY (see edit history)

[ITGeniusGuru]

anyway, who am i to question their practice.

You said it right: "Different people, different culture".

In my opinion, there's no right, no wrong. we are all different; and we respect how things are done differently in different parts of the world.

I picked on that one particular topic because I just married a lady I've known only through Yahoo chat for 3 months and met in person for only 3 days.

Hey... I am doing better than that marriage arranged by two families !!

Edited March 6, 2013 by ITGeniusGuru (see edit history)

[Dan777]

 

From what I have read, if we do get turned down then I just have to reapply or give the required information. So far my wife has had everything ready for the marriage and paperwork for the visa.

Hey Dan777, Any update? Has your wife's interview been scheduled yet?

 

"It really is more about luck at their interview than anything else."

I did a bit of research on the internet and it looks like GUZ is notorious for denials. I am wondering though... this thread was started in 2009 and I get the impression the denials peaked in 2009/2010. Has this changed lately? Consular officers are rotated and I saw an American attorney wrote a long letter to authorities about GUZ being un-reasonable:

www.ilw.com/articles/2009,0623-roth.pdf

 

 

No not yet. The immigration has been approved. I was told the rules changed on April 1st so Guangzhou was supposed to get our files last month (April 2013). We are still waiting for the mail to my wife with the interview date. I think I started everything last July. We are closer but not there yet.