newbie

[Christopher]

This is my first post.

 

My mother was from Germany, lived through WWII in Berlin, moved to Brazil with her family in 1951. Then off to the US for college in the late 50's. Got herself a PhD in Chemistry in 1964. When my father left the family, she couldn't get a job, they said she was "overqualified". So she went back to school and got herself a Masters in Chemical Engineering. After that, she was really overqualified. She got one job offer, and grabbed it with both hands, and stayed with it until they gave her early retirement a few years ago. Along the way I had some medical issues, where I had to be hospitalized a long time. She was still paying for it when I was in my 30's.

 

Does this sound a lot like the women you're with? From reading your posts, it sure does to me.

 

Most guys end up marrying their mother, if you know what I mean. It's taken me a long damn time to be OK with that, which is why I am as of yet a single guy. I find most of the women I meet don't measure up. So from the demand side, I don't see where it's going to let up.

 

On the supply side, I look for China to become an increasingly violent society, the same as happens in every other society where the supply of women is short.

 

I am just starting out on this journey, I don't know if the woman I'm talking to will work out or not (I think I've already messed up), but CFL is most definitely needed.

 

Christopher

[Guest WenDylan]

Welcome to CFL Christopher. I am glad you are here and hope that I can be help for you if needed. Your first post is such a personal touch, and a tribute to how unique each member and their words really are. I think you will fit in here nicely, and I also look forward to your future posts, and hopefully a success story with the woman you're talking to you. Everyone messes up from time to time... but take some words I think helped me to understand my relationship...

 

"Marriage is not the perfect couple, but it is the imperfect couple that chooses to rejoice in their differences together."

 

I threw it together, and others may reply differently, but it is even the differences between members that makes CFL a home for everyone, those who are the same, and those who are not alike.

 

Welcome aboard!

[warpedbored]

Welcome to CFL You have come to the right place for visa information as it pertains to China. It is a long journey but worth it in the end. Here is a link to some other links that will help you navigate CFL and the visa process. Take some time to read the FAQ. There is a wealth of information in there. Good luck.

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=16183

[IllinoisDave]

Welcome to CFL. Good luck. And no, I didn't marry my mother.

[Richard & Li]

 

On the supply side, I look for China to become an increasingly violent society, the same as happens in every other society where the supply of women is short.

 

I am just starting out on this journey, I don't know if the woman I'm talking to will work out or not (I think I've already messed up), but CFL is most definitely needed.

 

Christopher

 

Hi Christopher & Welcome to CFL.

 

I've a couple thoughts about your last two paragraphs:

 

One thing China has no lack of is people. Women or men, there are plenty. During my stays in China, which have spanned nearly a year's time and have taken me to many places throughout the country, I have seen no violence whatsoever. While there may be people who take advantage of foreigners in the "tourist traps" (I've completely avoided those for the most part) the typical Chinese communities I've been in were peaceful and full of honest, hardworking, family oriented folks. In my wife's home town (pop. 3,000,000), she fearlessly walks down dark side streets late at night. I was amazed, until I got used to it.

 

About messing up. We all did it, (I think). The electronic translators take a lot of getting used to, they often spew nonsense (which is sometimes errantly taken as offensive). It took a long time and a lot of patience before my wife and I knew each other well enough to recognize most translation errors. Even so, occasionally, we still misunderstand each other. The big difference now is we usually work through it quickly and laugh it off instead of getting upset.

 

Your Mom sounds like a saintly genius. You won't likely find a wife like her and nobody will ever love you so unconditionally. Holding a wife to those standards is perhaps unrealistic.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

welcome to CFL, have fun on your journey B)

 

 

PS I didn't marry my mother either (could say why but Jins watching now)

[david_dawei]

I didn't marry my mother either

yea.... isn't that anachronistic anyways

[david_dawei]

I've a couple thoughts about your last two paragraphs:

 

One thing China has no lack of is people. Women or men, there are plenty. During my stays in China, which have spanned nearly a year's time and have taken me to many places throughout the country, I have seen no violence whatsoever. While there may be people who take advantage of foreigners in the "tourist traps" (I've completely avoided those for the most part) the typical Chinese communities I've been in were peaceful and full of honest, hardworking, family oriented folks. In my wife's home town (pop. 3,000,000), she fearlessly walks down dark side streets late at night. I was amazed, until I got used to it.

Hey Richard (I assume you are not Li )

I don't recall replying to any of your posts, but this one seems worthy...

 

Violence is both an individual and societal issue; if we look at it to narrowly, we think only about the individual (which I think the OP makes the mistake of... although I do think there is some validity in the comment, but it depends on the "check and balance" that society has imposed--despite the 'supply side gender' issue posed).

 

IMO, China is not wont to become violent. As you said about walking down the street at night... feeling safe... Most on CFL has said this about China; of course there are exceptions. But too many examples could be given about their more pacifist way (I think this is the wrong word but don't have an easier way of saying it right now).

 

Let's look at a countries dependence on defense spending as an indication of their worry about how to deal with violence in general.

 

The US spends about $500 BILLION on defense budget

 

China (4x population), spends the equivalent of $50 BILLION...

 

um... that appears less than some US wars alone

 

well... actually.. one war alone is about the same as the defense budget, but that is another topic... B)

[mchina34]

I've a couple thoughts about your last two paragraphs:

 

One thing China has no lack of is people. Women or men, there are plenty. During my stays in China, which have spanned nearly a year's time and have taken me to many places throughout the country, I have seen no violence whatsoever. While there may be people who take advantage of foreigners in the "tourist traps" (I've completely avoided those for the most part) the typical Chinese communities I've been in were peaceful and full of honest, hardworking, family oriented folks. In my wife's home town (pop. 3,000,000), she fearlessly walks down dark side streets late at night. I was amazed, until I got used to it.

Hey Richard (I assume you are not Li )

I don't recall replying to any of your posts, but this one seems worthy...

 

Violence is both an individual and societal issue; if we look at it to narrowly, we think only about the individual (which I think the OP makes the mistake of... although I do think there is some validity in the comment, but it depends on the "check and balance" that society has imposed--despite the 'supply side gender' issue posed).

 

IMO, China is not wont to become violent. As you said about walking down the street at night... feeling safe... Most on CFL has said this about China; of course there are exceptions. But too many examples could be given about their more pacifist way (I think this is the wrong word but don't have an easier way of saying it right now).

 

Let's look at a countries dependence on defense spending as an indication of their worry about how to deal with violence in general.

 

The US spends about $500 BILLION on defense budget

 

China (4x population), spends the equivalent of $50 BILLION...

 

um... that appears less than some US wars alone

 

well... actually.. one war alone is about the same as the defense budget, but that is another topic... B)

 

 

You mean we have this large defense budget because of our violent sports, video games, wars, proxy wars, etc?? You's crazy. The media has been telling me (and I believe everything I hear) these wars and defense increases are because there are 'people that hate freedom' and want to take it away from us.

 

Edit: I just ouldn't resist...

 

I guess since the Chinese aren't 'free', nobody hates them and nobody is attacking them, hence the lack of defense spending in China. But then again that wouldn't explain Canada's small dfense budget as they are free...I'm confused.

Edited October 2, 2008 by mchina34 (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

I've a couple thoughts about your last two paragraphs:

 

One thing China has no lack of is people. Women or men, there are plenty. During my stays in China, which have spanned nearly a year's time and have taken me to many places throughout the country, I have seen no violence whatsoever. While there may be people who take advantage of foreigners in the "tourist traps" (I've completely avoided those for the most part) the typical Chinese communities I've been in were peaceful and full of honest, hardworking, family oriented folks. In my wife's home town (pop. 3,000,000), she fearlessly walks down dark side streets late at night. I was amazed, until I got used to it.

Hey Richard (I assume you are not Li )

I don't recall replying to any of your posts, but this one seems worthy...

 

Violence is both an individual and societal issue; if we look at it to narrowly, we think only about the individual (which I think the OP makes the mistake of... although I do think there is some validity in the comment, but it depends on the "check and balance" that society has imposed--despite the 'supply side gender' issue posed).

 

IMO, China is not wont to become violent. As you said about walking down the street at night... feeling safe... Most on CFL has said this about China; of course there are exceptions. But too many examples could be given about their more pacifist way (I think this is the wrong word but don't have an easier way of saying it right now).

 

Let's look at a countries dependence on defense spending as an indication of their worry about how to deal with violence in general.

 

The US spends about $500 BILLION on defense budget

 

China (4x population), spends the equivalent of $50 BILLION...

 

um... that appears less than some US wars alone

 

well... actually.. one war alone is about the same as the defense budget, but that is another topic... B)

 

 

You mean we have this large defense budget because of our violent sports, video games, wars, proxy wars, etc?? You's crazy. The media has been telling me (and I believe everything I hear) these wars and defense increases are because there are 'people that hate freedom' and want to take it away from us.

 

Edit: I just ouldn't resist...

 

I guess since the Chinese aren't 'free', nobody hates them and nobody is attacking them, hence the lack of defense spending in China. But then again that wouldn't explain Canada's small dfense budget as they are free...I'm confused.

I said: "dependence on defense spending as an indication of their worry about how to deal with violence in general."... irregardless of free or not !!