A timing dilemma:

[Randy W]

...she is going to need to quit her job in china sometime, so why not just before getting her k-1 visa, why does her job in china matter so much?

 

I guess you are too young and far away from retirement to appreciate her perspective. Her retirement provides her:

 

* a solid sense of security as she takes a huge life gamble

* a way to provide for her aging parents

* a way to provide for her daughter if her daughter wants to return to China

 

Ask any US government employee within spittin' distance of their retirement what it would take for them to give up their retirement. I'd bet most of them could not even be swayed by death threats.

 

In June she will be within 18 months of retirement from her government employment.

 

I am twice divorced. With my marital track record it would be incredibly wrong of me to deny her that 30 year retirement package in the name of "love." No matter how good our intentions - the stats say 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

 

So her retirement is in Dec 2009. If you marry NOW, she will be receive her 10 yr card if she enters the US in May 2010.

 

I'll lay off after this, I promise.

[griz326]

Rob, we started the K-1 and are nearing our interview. Had we known the LOA might fall short of getting the time needed, we might have chosen a different route. Now it's a "shoulda-woulda-coulda" ...

 

The K-1 is within our grasp any other path separates us for many, many more months while I prepare to depart for China. In addition, the change in my employment status moving to China might jeopardize my ability to sponsor a wife and daughter. The K-1 is an immediate window of opportunity that could close on my gal and me.

[IllinoisDave]

Dont shoot the messenger - Randy

 

Ok Dave - retirement money, the question is then how much more time does she need to spend in china- as a resident there to get it ?

 

If longer than 6 months or a year, Griz says he wants to live there and teach, so therefore they could do DCF, pretty darn quick, high success rate, whats the need for the K-1 ? Just a thought.

You asked why her job in China mattered so much. The wording of your post made it seem like you were asking why not just quit now since she'll have to at some point anyway. I was pointing out the reason why they didn't want to go that route.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

I just love being taken out of context.

 

Anyway its up to you, you can let it continue as it is ,don't know if her boss will let her stay here until you file AOS/AP and get the AP. You could just delay returning your P-3 until she is closer to retirement, or you can abandon it move there and file DCF.

 

Your choice

[georgeandli]

griz326, Before you back yourself in a corner might I be devil's advocate and say check if your SO can get her retirement sent stateside? I would hate to see you abandon the tracks you've laid.

[griz326]

You weren't take out of context, Rob.

 

 

...I just didn't repost your entire post...only the part I was responding to.

Edited April 19, 2008 by griz326 (see edit history)

[griz326]

Thanks for the thought, George.

 

Her retirement money would not be needed stateside unless the world falls apart; it's really intended to be used in China.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

You weren't take out of context, Rob.

 

 

...I just didn't repost your entire post...only the part I was responding to.

 

 

The point I am trying to make is that if her boss wont let her leave early and stay here for the time necessary to get AP, then sending P-3 back now is no good for you.

[Randy W]

You weren't take out of context, Rob.

 

 

...I just didn't repost your entire post...only the part I was responding to.

 

 

The point I am trying to make is that if her boss wont let her leave early and stay here for the time necessary to get AP, then sending P-3 back now is no good for you.

 

 

K-1 is a temporary (90 day) visa, which would allow her to come to the US and get married. Just one option.

 

AOS is not required. It is possible, but might be difficult.

[jim_julian]

Griz ... what is the absolute value of this retirement?

 

My Lao Po's is trivial (of course I don't use that term with her).

 

We all know the deeply held convictions about financial stability, taking care of parents, etc.

 

Perhaps you could buy an annuity that equaled the retirement and caused less stress on the relationship.

[david_dawei]

you have a reasonable concern and I think it's worth mentally pursuing every avenue as you are doing.

 

I'll summarize what I think are your options in chronological order, some already stated by others...

 

1. Don't return P3 yet. I think you have a year to do so. This would only buy you a little time in case she thinks she could get more time off later, during a different part of the season. I'm not sure this is good, I think wheels should keep moving till you know you have to stop them.

 

2. When you get the interview date, delay the interview. You could do this in combination with a delayed return of P3 too... Also, once the visa is issued, she has 3 months to enter the US... so there are three points where she can delay and string out the K1 interview/issuance.

 

3. Get her here, marry and file I-1485 AOS and see what happens... AOS in MT may be as quick as 3-4 months; but if a name check delay occurs then your waiting upwards of a year or more.

 

4. Get her here, marry, and instead of filing I-130 for spouse... she'll need to return before her K1 90 days is up; go CR1.

 

5. Marry somewhere, whether in china or US; File I-130 when you want.

 

6. Marry somewhere, move to china; file DCF when the time is right.

 

7. A non-retirement option... if your personal finances/retirement is considerable and make her retirement trivial, I would agree with this.

 

Even if the boss allows her to stay in the US for 6 months to complete the AOS, she has to go back for about 14 months worth of work; is he going to allow her to do this in segmented trips? Since she shouldn't really try to be outside the US for more than a year.

 

Can she perform some work remotely, from US to help her stay in US long enough to get the AOS?

[griz326]

Thank you David & Jim...

 

She either does not know the value of her retirement or does not understand what I am asking her. The annuity seems a reasonable solution, but something tells me that having the retirement she earned is important to her, a matter of pride.

 

...and I will study your list carefully David because it clearly enumerates the options suggested by others in what I took to be an order of practicality.

 

I'll have to study each point to understand how each option really plays out.

 

The one thing I know is that we both want to be together as soon as possible. I feel certain that somewhere in these suggestions is a strategy that will work for our situation.