GENERAL Observation on Chinese women¡­

[Jaseball]

Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I'm not saying living in abject poverty or struggling to have money for basic life necessities is good, however with Westernization the most entrepreneurial, connected, lucky, and hard working will almost always rise up, but the poor remain poor. Western ideas are also about everyone for themselves and the poor and destitute can also make it, but they are too lazy.

 

Also, if China's government adapts the idea that they are always right and should police the world and attack at will like we seem to do in the US, then WWIII and the end of life as we know it is just a few years away.

[Bill & Angel]

Give them love and security without condition and Chinese women are the most loyal and devoted women on the face of the earth. There is no grey area with them. Their switch is either on or off. And, we control the switch. The key here is ACTION. By our actions, they will be loyal, loving wives or they can become cold and detached in a heartbeat.

 

This is an intriguing post, thanks.

 

I have definitely experienced the cultural difference between the west and the east, or more specifically, the US and China. The more intimate you are with the woman, the more intimate you become with these differences. Because I am deeply in love with my fiancee, I try never to judge these differences, despite how much pain and frustration they can cause sometimes. As a few others have said, of course not all Chinese women are the same, but make no mistake, these cultural differences exist regardless of the individual personalities. The differences run much deeper than the "cleanliness" issue.

 

In my situation, our personalities are so strong, that these differences struck us hard. Sometimes it feels like riding a wild bull, and when this happens, we just grab on hard to the reins, and hope we're still on when the bucking stops.

 

The good news is, the bucking always stops at some point. It's not always easy to predict when, just like it's not easy to predict what will cause the bucking to begin.

 

I'm speaking in very general terms here, because if I filled in the examples and details, this would turn into a book. I would like to recommend to all those not deeply familiar with Chinese culture to rent (or buy) the following film: China: A Century of Revolution.

 

This wonderful 3-disk documentary will give you some tremendous insight into why the Chinese handle hard situations differently than us. The Cultural Revolution of the last 60's and early 70's probably had the biggest impact on the generation that we are dating now. There have been so many events in Chinese history where most people really had no choice but to grit their teeth and bear it. If you are involved with a Chinese partner, you owe it to yourself and your partner to educate yourself on this deep and profound history. I know it made a big difference to me, and therefore to our relationship.

 

Sometimes it's a wild ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Bill & Angel]

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I consider myself to have "western" values, but I don't value any of the things you listed here. Maybe you just need to get new friends.

[Jeikun]

Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I'm not saying living in abject poverty or struggling to have money for basic life necessities is good, however with Westernization the most entrepreneurial, connected, lucky, and hard working will almost always rise up, but the poor remain poor. Western ideas are also about everyone for themselves and the poor and destitute can also make it, but they are too lazy.

 

Also, if China's government adapts the idea that they are always right and should police the world and attack at will like we seem to do in the US, then WWIII and the end of life as we know it is just a few years away.

 

 

You have a very negative view of western values, and a very rosy one of China, then.

 

I think many people here when they "compare" the US to China tend to think up the worst they see in the US and then contrast it with the best they see in China. To be expected from someone recently falling in love with China, but hardly an honest or fair comparison.

 

Actually the negatives in your first paragraph describe the negative side of "modern" China very well if you ask me. I've met and known of some pretty cutthroat people in the US, but the kind of soulless materialistic backstabbing related to me by my wife from China makes them look like rank amateurs.

 

If you look for sinners you will find them. If you look for saints you will find them. But this idea that one people lacks some essential "goodness" over another I have time and time again in my life to be 100% grade A bullshit.

 

I think C4racer's idea of the differences being more circumstantial than cultural is more correct than anything I've heard here in awhile.

Edited March 4, 2008 by Jeikun (see edit history)

[IllinoisDave]

Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I'm not saying living in abject poverty or struggling to have money for basic life necessities is good, however with Westernization the most entrepreneurial, connected, lucky, and hard working will almost always rise up, but the poor remain poor. Western ideas are also about everyone for themselves and the poor and destitute can also make it, but they are too lazy.

 

Also, if China's government adapts the idea that they are always right and should police the world and attack at will like we seem to do in the US, then WWIII and the end of life as we know it is just a few years away.

 

 

You have a very negative view of western values, and a very rosy one of China, then.

 

I think many people here when they "compare" the US to China tend to think up the worst they see in the US and then contrast it with the best they see in China. To be expected from someone recently falling in love with China, but hardly an honest or fair comparison.

 

Actually the negatives in your first paragraph describe the negative side of "modern" China very well if you ask me. I've met and known of some pretty cutthroat people in the US, but the kind of soulless materialistic backstabbing related to me by my wife from China makes them look like rank amateurs.

 

If you look for sinners you will find them. If you look for saints you will find them. But this idea that one people lacks some essential "goodness" over another I have time and time again in my life to be 100% grade A bullshit.

 

I think C4racer's idea of the differences being more circumstantial than cultural is more correct than anything I've heard here in awhile.

What he said.

[david_dawei]

Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I'm not saying living in abject poverty or struggling to have money for basic life necessities is good, however with Westernization the most entrepreneurial, connected, lucky, and hard working will almost always rise up, but the poor remain poor. Western ideas are also about everyone for themselves and the poor and destitute can also make it, but they are too lazy.

 

Also, if China's government adapts the idea that they are always right and should police the world and attack at will like we seem to do in the US, then WWIII and the end of life as we know it is just a few years away.

despite the backlash this post produced... I'm going to agree more with him than others will concede...

 

I think the comments on more about historical and cultural ideology and I also hope that china doesn't turn 'western'... In general, I would agree that western ways are materialistic; if you have a house over your head which is comfortable with hot water and a soft bed and a frig with food...

 

you just may be materialistic compared to most of the world; accept it, don't try and redefine it to satisify your idea of 'western values'.... you have more than most in the entire world will ever see. Give it all up and go to another eastern country if you think you western values will follow you through all of life. You'll be ready to redefine life in different terms is my guess.

 

I love to hear of the mighty western idealist speak of how altruistic and better they are, or those who say essentially we are all greedy bastards in the end analysis...

 

Again, I'll say, get out of the comfort of your existence and go live in china.. most who come back say they hate it... Do most who come from china to the US say they hate it? Wonder who is more flexible and adapting in the end analysis... and which government is going to be more adapting toward existence of it's people... A government for the people seems empty words till it's put into action...

[Jeikun]

Give China another 50 to 100 years and I think you will find the people will live and think closer to their western counterparts than you could ever imagine.

 

 

 

This really isn't a good thing. When I think of 'Western,' values I think of a very materialistic lifestyle where people think of instant gratification, the loss of stable family life, loose sexual values, selfish behavior, and willingness to screw over 100+ other people for even a slight gain.

 

I'm not saying living in abject poverty or struggling to have money for basic life necessities is good, however with Westernization the most entrepreneurial, connected, lucky, and hard working will almost always rise up, but the poor remain poor. Western ideas are also about everyone for themselves and the poor and destitute can also make it, but they are too lazy.

 

Also, if China's government adapts the idea that they are always right and should police the world and attack at will like we seem to do in the US, then WWIII and the end of life as we know it is just a few years away.

despite the backlash this post produced... I'm going to agree more with him than others will concede...

 

I think the comments on more about historical and cultural ideology and I also hope that china doesn't turn 'western'... In general, I would agree that western ways are materialistic; if you have a house over your head which is comfortable with hot water and a soft bed and a frig with food...

 

you just may be materialistic compared to most of the world; accept it, don't try and redefine it to satisify your idea of 'western values'.... you have more than most in the entire world will ever see. Give it all up and go to another eastern country if you think you western values will follow you through all of life. You'll be ready to redefine life in different terms is my guess.

 

I love to hear of the mighty western idealist speak of how altruistic and better they are, or those who say essentially we are all greedy bastards in the end analysis...

 

Again, I'll say, get out of the comfort of your existence and go live in china.. most who come back say they hate it... Do most who come from china to the US say they hate it? Wonder who is more flexible and adapting in the end analysis... and which government is going to be more adapting toward existence of it's people... A government for the people seems empty words till it's put into action...

 

 

In my opinion having things of comfort doesn't necessarily equate to materialistic. Willingness to subvert your own so-called values and harm others to achieve those things does. Of course I refer to it in the negative connotation in which it is being used here... not the strict textbook definition.

 

I just think the "willingness to screw over 100+ people for even a slight gain" fits more with a relativistic/situational ethics mindset than with a moral one, don't you think?

 

Does it violate an "Eastern" mindset to have a house over your head that's comfortable, hot water, bed, fridge with food? Does their culture shun these things, or is it just a matter of they haven't been available to most yet?

 

One might look to Japan or South Korea as examples of eastern culture amid full western wealth/convenience/"freedoms". I don't think they lost their cultural identities.

 

I don't necessarily disagree with what I think your core point is... but I am guessing at it because I don't think you expressed it very well in this post (which I only mention because it's unusual for you).

Edited March 5, 2008 by Jeikun (see edit history)

[Finer in China]

Chinese women are shorter than American men.

 

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2006-03/16/xin_19030316072626658382.jpg

[newman]

When making a decision, Chinese women can ‘throw a mental switch’ to block emotions. Seldom are their decisions emotionally based, but are simply based on practicality. Stoic comes to mind: free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submission without complaint to unavoidable necessity.

 

I have seen them give their child to relatives in China to raise, in the belief that those early years among Chinese are more beneficial for the child. I cannot fathom an American woman consider such a thing. There is no judgment here. I admire and am in awe of women strong enough to do what they believe is best for their child and who will place the child’s best interest over any personal emotional feelings they may have.

 

I have seen again and again Chinese couples living and working apart, in separate cities, to only visit each other every other month or so. Again, I have seldom seen this is western culture. If it is more practical to work in another city for the long-term benefit of the family, then there is no emotional equation to it. It is simply what is best and the way it shall be. Life goes on without complaint.

 

I have often seen Chinese women simply turn and walk away from a cushy home with just a suitcase in hand, because they will not tolerate living with an angry man. Try to control a Chinese woman through anger, shouts and pouts and she will drop you like a bad transmission. Once they’ve thrown the switch to leave, there’s little that can be done to draw them back. Stubborn or just strong willed? Maybe both, more likely it is simply a practical decision. The promise was unfulfilled so it is time to move on. They will never sit stagnant, but will constantly seek to move forward in a constant endeavor for a secure life.

 

Give them love and security without condition and Chinese women are the most loyal and devoted women on the face of the earth. There is no grey area with them. Their switch is either on or off. And, we control the switch. The key here is ACTION. By our actions, they will be loyal, loving wives or they can become cold and detached in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

This is quite a post in itself. I haven't read this entire thread but, my comments are about the above post. I find it quite accurate especially since I've recently retired and do not have the income I did when I brought my wife to the US.

 

I brought my wife to the US with the promise I would do the best for her that I could with what I had. I promised no ROSE GARDENS without conditions. I have worked over forty years and believe I deserve to retire without conditions. My wife has also worked hard with her two part -time jobs since she has came to the US five years ago. Thankfully we never had to use her money to live as mine was always sufficient. Now all of sudden her money is her's and my contribution no longer is good enough. I will not continue to work to satisfy her unconditional security. My retirement income is satisfactory, in my mind, to live a good modest life. I'm sorry that I am not going to work two less paying jobs and that I no longer have the means to buy every diamond and fur coat for my wife's security.

 

I love my wife and she knows it so she says but, it seems love is has never in the equation for security. Well tough!! I don't know what's ahead but if my wife feels she has to walk away I guess that will have to addressed later. I don't know about anybody else but, I'm too old to believe that a family is one sided. I'll gladly give my life for my wife but not working myself to death to do it. I'm tired.

[david_dawei]

I don't necessarily disagree with what I think your core point is... but I am guessing at it because I don't think you expressed it very well in this post (which I only mention because it's unusual for you).

let's just say that I'm drunk for the last 2-3 weeks straight to get my mind clearererererer.... so anything I post this last month should really make any sense...

[Jaseball]

My wife has also worked hard with her two part -time jobs since she has came to the US five years ago. Thankfully we never had to use her money to live as mine was always sufficient. Now all of sudden her money is her's and my contribution no longer is good enough. I will not continue to work to satisfy her unconditional security. My retirement income is satisfactory, in my mind, to live a good modest life. I'm sorry that I am not going to work two less paying jobs and that I no longer have the means to buy every diamond and fur coat for my wife's security.

 

 

Man this is scary.

[Corbin]

My wife has also worked hard with her two part -time jobs since she has came to the US five years ago. Thankfully we never had to use her money to live as mine was always sufficient. Now all of sudden her money is her's and my contribution no longer is good enough. I will not continue to work to satisfy her unconditional security. My retirement income is satisfactory, in my mind, to live a good modest life. I'm sorry that I am not going to work two less paying jobs and that I no longer have the means to buy every diamond and fur coat for my wife's security.

 

 

Man this is scary.

Remember this is only one person in the sea of women from China. She may or may not come to see what her retired husband says. This could also be any woman of any national background.

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

My wife has also worked hard with her two part -time jobs since she has came to the US five years ago. Thankfully we never had to use her money to live as mine was always sufficient. Now all of sudden her money is her's and my contribution no longer is good enough. I will not continue to work to satisfy her unconditional security. My retirement income is satisfactory, in my mind, to live a good modest life. I'm sorry that I am not going to work two less paying jobs and that I no longer have the means to buy every diamond and fur coat for my wife's security.

 

 

Man this is scary.

Remember this is only one person in the sea of women from China. She may or may not come to see what her retired husband says. This could also be any woman of any national background.

This is every persons fear.

[Guest Mike and Lily]

Those that marry a Chinese woman because he thinks she is quiet, obedient and docile is in for a rude awakening.

[Corbin]

Those that marry a Chinese woman because he thinks she is quiet, obedient and docile is in for a rude awakening.

so true from what I have seen and heard so far.............

 

though I'm not yet married to her, she can be a real tiger if she wants to................

Edited March 7, 2008 by Corbin (see edit history)