I got caught up with my emotions...

[david_dawei]

I wish that the varied responses to the OP had not been what they were since the situation was not uncommon and very cross-culturally educational to say the least... but we tend to see this: Too many are not willing to get beyond a western perspective on these issues.

 

of course, when I picked on dennis in PM since I felt we are closer to agreement on most of these issues and he would understand my point... and he retorted that he took a page out of my CFL playbook... oh well.. he had a point in the end no matter who he responds to... and CFL goes on...

[LeeFisher3]

By the way, the thread was deleted due to OP's request.

I believe the OP was expecting a much different response than he received. He was a member from a different time and attitude on CFL.

 

CFL has evolved, whether it has evolved into a nicer place or not is up to debate. Apparently the OP decided he didn't know anyone around here or want to know anyone around here anymore.

 

At one time he was considered a brother in the fight to have his loved one join him in the US, he paid his dues by surviving GZ with the desire to build a good life with his spouse.

 

I find that many times we are becoming a coarser society here at CFL, I see us as a whole demanding things such as having a RIGHT to know another persons personal business, just like the news media, who by the way doesn't have the right to know everything either. They just want to make money by having the best story.

 

Long will not be back, but maybe we can learn something from this and not run others off who come here to vent or gain support.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

I understand you, Dennis. As Jesse said, every story has another side. Unfortunately, CFL has no power to bring both sides together to defend their cases. In most situations, we can only hear what the member is saying and make our own judgement on what the true situation really is. Then some of us will elect to defend the other side, which is OK. But, we do need to listen before making a judgement.

 

I just feel that CFL don't qualify/disqualify members. Since we don't have a way to judge a case, we can at least give a place for the members to vent. We give our understanding (towards member's side of the story), offer advices on how they can best handle the situation and treat their other half and thus, we all learn from their lessons.

 

Yesterday, I picked Dennis's post to reply only because I can use it to bring out my own argument better, not because he is the one making the most nasty comments. In fact the counter comments towards Dennis was worse and hurting as well. (Dennis' post today shows that he forgave me on this. Thanks, Dennis! )

 

let's try our best to avoid personal attacks while showing different opintions.

I think this is a super first post as a mod!

The decision was a good one!!

Great job Joanne!

 

Darn it, missed the whole post sounded interesting. Guess i go to bed too early. The life of a young mushroom hey

[tywy_99]

I understand you, Dennis. As Jesse said, every story has another side. Unfortunately, CFL has no power to bring both sides together to defend their cases. In most situations, we can only hear what the member is saying and make our own judgement on what the true situation really is. Then some of us will elect to defend the other side, which is OK. But, we do need to listen before making a judgement.

 

I just feel that CFL don't qualify/disqualify members. Since we don't have a way to judge a case, we can at least give a place for the members to vent. We give our understanding (towards member's side of the story), offer advices on how they can best handle the situation and treat their other half and thus, we all learn from their lessons.

 

Yesterday, I picked Dennis's post to reply only because I can use it to bring out my own argument better, not because he is the one making the most nasty comments. In fact the counter comments towards Dennis was worse and hurting as well. (Dennis' post today shows that he forgave me on this. Thanks, Dennis! )

 

let's try our best to avoid personal attacks while showing different opintions.

I think this is a super first post as a mod!

The decision was a good one!!

Great job Joanne!

 

Darn it, missed the whole post sounded interesting. Guess i go to bed too early. The life of a young mushroom hey

You didn't miss much. The whole thread got off to bad start and it just escalated from there. I've seen worse.

[SirLancelot]

I understand you, Dennis. As Jesse said, every story has another side. Unfortunately, CFL has no power to bring both sides together to defend their cases. In most situations, we can only hear what the member is saying and make our own judgement on what the true situation really is. Then some of us will elect to defend the other side, which is OK. But, we do need to listen before making a judgement.

 

I just feel that CFL don't qualify/disqualify members. Since we don't have a way to judge a case, we can at least give a place for the members to vent. We give our understanding (towards member's side of the story), offer advices on how they can best handle the situation and treat their other half and thus, we all learn from their lessons.

 

Yesterday, I picked Dennis's post to reply only because I can use it to bring out my own argument better, not because he is the one making the most nasty comments. In fact the counter comments towards Dennis was worse and hurting as well. (Dennis' post today shows that he forgave me on this. Thanks, Dennis! )

 

let's try our best to avoid personal attacks while showing different opintions.

 

Joanne, when did you become a MOD? Congrats!

 

I thought the idea was for you not to become a MOD, lest the responsibilities of an objective MOD restrict you from more freely posting your own opinions. Nevertheless, I'm happy to see you as a MOD. We need more Chinese ladies as MOD!

 

Dennis, sorry for being Mea culpa.

[warpedbored]

 

Joanne, when did you become a MOD? Congrats!

 

I thought the idea was for you not to become a MOD, lest the responsibilities of an objective MOD restrict you from more freely posting your own opinions. Nevertheless, I'm happy to see you as a MOD. We need more Chinese ladies as MOD!

 

Dennis, sorry for being Mea culpa.

I have noticed that some members think mods shouldn't have an oppinion. Being a mod never stopped me. It has restrained me somewhat from shooting back when someone pissed me off but I can't remember Joanne ever doing that anyway. You don't need to change anything Joanne. Just be yourself.

[DMikeS4321]

My compliments Joanne. I continue to be impressed with your ability to express yourself. You are truly mastering communication in English.

 

 

I couldn't agree more. If I could ever become 1/10th as articulate in English myself, I might be onto something.

 

Joanne, it's more than just the mechanics of language, too. Your wisdom is truly profound. I always go out of my way to read your posts.

 

Thank you...