curious

[fangkelei]

In your opinion, you probably sincerely believe your wife speaks perfect English. But didn't you post in another thread that Chun recently got fired (laid off) because her higher ups didn't think she spoke English well enough or had too strong an accent? Doesn't that mean in someone else's eyes, that Chun isn't so fluent in English, whereas you think her English is great?

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SmilingAsia,

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For the rest of the laowais.

I can speak chinese but without a dictionary I can't read it. Could you please translate this for us laowais. Thanks£¡

 

Really, my wife is my teacher. When I lived in China she taught me Mandarin. When we first started dating we only spoke Chinese. Recently we've started speaking English. This is just to let her practice. I really feel that not having the same language helps our relationship and communication. This is because we have to work hard at our communication.

 

Best regards,

Claude

[PhoenixRising]

My SO can speak fair English. Many times she gets frustrated and goes into Mandarin to help her get back on track. She also can speak Cantonese. She goes to English classes 4 days per week for 2 hours each session. Her Daughter and a Neighbor help her with "study halls" during the week with English. She also practices with her class mates. She is very dedicated on learning English by the time her interview comes up. Now only if I would get to learn more Chinese that may help.

[Dennis143]

Finally, she said that we should treasure our children, but the most important love in the world is the love that we have for each other.

 

Now for any of you have read any of my posts on this forum, you know that Ping's point of view on this issue is music to my ears. Go ahead Ping, melt my heart.

Do I dare put a small little pin-prick in your bubble? I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. Yes, her words are a refreshing change. Enjoy them. Hold them and wallow in them, as they are mere words and (as David would say) not acts. The newlymet stage of a relationship is always wonderful. The fantasy from afar shines brighter and stronger than anything you've yet to encounter in your lifetime...

 

Let's hope the adjustment stages goes equally smooth. For a Chinese woman (dare I say ANY woman) will never and let me say again NEVER love you more than her children. Just take some words with a bit of a grain of salt. Try not to take EVERYTHING completely literal, as you may undoubtably learn differently somewhere down the road.

[tywy_99]

Different culture makes people think and behave different. This difference is one reason that the lovers are attracted to each other. Different appearance is one attractive factor to a multicultural couple in love too. But the quality life includes good communicating and understanding. If you have much knowledge that you want to impart to your partner, if you have many thoughts and blueprints that you want to share with your partner, language is a must between your relationship, at least your partner has potential to master the language fast---otherwise when the beginning love fever cools down, you will find you are often like talking to a wall when you want to share your mind with your partner.

 

Some people are not very knowledgeable and they are good to have a partner that doent know his language or culture much because he himself doesnt have much ideological to share; Some people are very knowledgeable and they have much to share but they are contented with a partner who just nods her head without her own opinion to tell because her language and knowledge is far from enough to offer some constructive ideas or suggestions---these kind of men are not very many and once they find someone out of marriage can understand them and can offer inspiritional ideas they may want to release from their mentally-interactiveless marriage.

 

my wife and i have been wondering how you people have long distant relationships and dont speak the same language and then get married.

 

how can you find out if you have anything in common?

what can you expect from them when you finally do meet face to face? if you have not even spoken to them.

we are both very confused and curious on how this happens.

 

then afterwards when you finally do get together...

what do you do together?

and dont say sex..

how do you share time together?

 

ive seen how DavidZ and his wife work but she speaks english fairly well. i think even that requires alot of patience.

Very well said, happy2005. You have a very good insight to the struggles involved as if you know from experience. I can relate to alot of what you have said here and it's all true. Like toplaw said, you've nailed it!

Thanks for sharing!

[chilton747]

Different culture makes people think and behave different. This difference is one reason that the lovers are attracted to each other. Different appearance is one attractive factor to a multicultural couple in love too. But the quality life includes good communicating and understanding. If you have much knowledge that you want to impart to your partner, if you have many thoughts and blueprints that you want to share with your partner, language is a must between your relationship, at least your partner has potential to master the language fast---otherwise when the beginning love fever cools down, you will find you are often like talking to a wall when you want to share your mind with your partner.

 

Some people are not very knowledgeable and they are good to have a partner that doent know his language or culture much because he himself doesnt have much ideological to share; Some people are very knowledgeable and they have much to share but they are contented with a partner who just nods her head without her own opinion to tell because her language and knowledge is far from enough to offer some constructive ideas or suggestions---these kind of men are not very many and once they find someone out of marriage can understand them and can offer inspiritional ideas they may want to release from their mentally-interactiveless marriage.

 

my wife and i have been wondering how you people have long distant relationships and dont speak the same language and then get married.

 

how can you find out if you have anything in common?

what can you expect from them when you finally do meet face to face? if you have not even spoken to them.

we are both very confused and curious on how this happens.

 

then afterwards when you finally do get together...

what do you do together?

and dont say sex..

how do you share time together?

 

ive seen how DavidZ and his wife work but she speaks english fairly well. i think even that requires alot of patience.

Very well said, happy2005. You have a very good insight to the struggles involved as if you know from experience. I can relate to alot of what you have said here and it's all true. Like toplaw said, you've nailed it!

Thanks for sharing!

Yes Happy, thanks for sharing. You bring to the table a lot of understanding.

[Dennis143]

Dennis, I agree with everything you said, and I think it is important that you said it. That may sound contradictory to what I said about Ping, but the truth is that although I am a romantic when it comes to love, I am a hard-hearted realist when it comes to life.

 

I take anything that anyone says at face value, and then their actions must prove to me what they really mean. Your point is well taken. I just enjoy the relationship much more if I indulge myself in the belief that for everyone there is one true love that is unlike any other love we have ever experienced.

 

I am not trying to convince anyone else to use my approach, or to share my beliefs. I am just expressing my point of view. I like believing that Ping and I have found that one true love, and that it is everything that Ping and I believe it to be. If we don't believe it to be that way, then I don't believe it will ever be that way.

 

I believe that small steps in life are important. I believe that if we feel this way about each other today and tomorrow, then we can always feel this way. No relationship that I know of is without bumps in the road. I don't expect our relationship to be without bumps in the road.

But if I didn't feel this way about Ping, then I wouldn't be going down this long road with her. The risks are far too great.

 

I do appreciate and enjoy reading your excellent posts.

Well, truth be known - I am a romantic too. In many ways I am a bit envious of you guys who are in those early romantic stages. Now, of course I love Leiqin. But, we've reach our comfort level. Even the adjustment stage is gone. But, oh I can feel for you brother. Goo goo gaa gaa is goooood!!

[Dennis143]

Thanks guys for your comment. Here it is a forum that we share our mind. Some CFL members suggest me to put my avatar here. THank you for your warm invitation. I am now going to put my picture in daily life here so that friends can see who I am and I will delete it soon. Best wishes to you all.

 

Dang, beauty and brains. Very powerful combination.

 

---

 

picture removed by request.

Edited July 22, 2007 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[Joanne]

Thanks guys for your comment. Here it is a forum that we share our mind. Some CFL members suggest me to put my avatar here. THank you for your warm invitation. I am now going to put my picture in daily life here so that friends can see who I am and I will delete it soon. Best wishes to you all.

 

Dang, beauty and brains. Very powerful combination.

 

And unpretentious.

 

---

 

picture removed by request.

Edited July 22, 2007 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[izus]

Having said that, don't you agree it's a matter of degree? Even in your own case, you have stated many times that your wife, Chun, speaks great English. In your opinion, you probably sincerely believe your wife speaks perfect English. But didn't you post in another thread that Chun recently got fired (laid off) because her higher ups didn't think she spoke English well enough or had too strong an accent? Doesn't that mean in someone else's eyes, that Chun isn't so fluent in English, whereas you think her English is great?

 

I think it's a matter of degree.

 

 

first off Lance anyone that has actually spoken with my wife realizes this firing was a sham....

to make my point.....

she was transfered to a new position and a new supervisor (a middle aged american woman who immeadiatly did not like her) she worked for 6 months in this company and 1 week under this new supervisor.

i can promise you it had nothing to do with her little accent that she has.....

[egolessvegan]

Having said that, don't you agree it's a matter of degree? Even in your own case, you have stated many times that your wife, Chun, speaks great English. In your opinion, you probably sincerely believe your wife speaks perfect English. But didn't you post in another thread that Chun recently got fired (laid off) because her higher ups didn't think she spoke English well enough or had too strong an accent? Doesn't that mean in someone else's eyes, that Chun isn't so fluent in English, whereas you think her English is great?

 

I think it's a matter of degree.

 

 

first off Lance anyone that has actually spoken with my wife realizes this firing was a sham....

to make my point.....

she was transfered to a new position and a new supervisor (a middle aged american woman who immeadiatly did not like her) she worked for 6 months in this company and 1 week under this new supervisor.

i can promise you it had nothing to do with her little accent that she has.....

 

Bill:

 

It is all right if your wife is not perfect. No need to defend it!

 

Ken

[jim_julian]

anyone that has actually spoken with my wife realizes this firing was a sham....

to make my point.....

she was transfered to a new position and a new supervisor (a middle aged american woman who immeadiatly did not like her) she worked for 6 months in this company and 1 week under this new supervisor.

i can promise you it had nothing to do with her little accent that she has.....

 

 

Sounds like you might have a discrimination law suit there Bill. Sometimes it's amazing what even the threat of one can do.

 

Maybe that was all rehashed before as I don't recall reading the original thread where you spoke about this.

[david_dawei]

Thanks guys for your comment. Here it is a forum that we share our mind. Some CFL members suggest me to put my avatar here. THank you for your warm invitation. I am now going to put my picture in daily life here so that friends can see who I am and I will delete it soon. Best wishes to you all.

 

Dang, beauty and brains. Very powerful combination.

 

And unpretentious.

takes one to know one

 

---

 

picture removed by request.

Edited July 22, 2007 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[IllinoisDave]

Thanks guys for your comment. Here it is a forum that we share our mind. Some CFL members suggest me to put my avatar here. THank you for your warm invitation. I am now going to put my picture in daily life here so that friends can see who I am and I will delete it soon. Best wishes to you all.

 

Dang, beauty and brains. Very powerful combination.

 

And unpretentious.

takes one to know one

 

---

 

picture removed by request.

These comments got me to thinking...

Has anyone ever met a pretentious Chinese woman?

I haven't. Met plenty of American ones though.

Edited July 22, 2007 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[jim_julian]

Yes, I have met many pretentious Chinese ... male and female.

[SinoTexas]

Yes, I have met many pretentious Chinese ... male and female.

Ditto to what Jim said.

 

As aye,

 

Jim