FUNERALS IN CHINA

[dcwfn]

On the same day that my wife found out that she was going to be coming home, her mother passed away. Having her back at home is such a relief! Once or twice she has started to shed tears because she misses her mom. I do in fact know how she feels since my mom died while my wife was in GZ. It was a very hard time for both of us then just as it is now. There are still a few family members who don't live close by that want to see Mei. But when I mention taking a 1 or 2 hour trip ti visit them at their home she says , no. Why? She tells me that there is a custom in China that dictates that when a very dear family member dies, the immediate family isn't supposed to visit in the home of anyone outside that immediate family. What I have tried to make her understand is 2 things

1. That I do in fact understand her grief since my own mom is gone and that I know she wanted to be with me during that time too.

2. Most importantly I try to convince her that her family here in Virginia loves her just as much as the family tree in China. My point with that is, family is family. It makes no difference whether they be in Guangzhou or in Richmond, VA. We all understand and share her grief. Can any of you enlighten me on how funerals are performed in Guangzhou and if there are any other customs that I ought to be mindful of?

[sweattrl1]

On the same day that my wife found out that she was going to be coming home, her mother passed away. Having her back at home is such a relief! Once or twice she has started to shed tears because she misses her mom. I do in fact know how she feels since my mom died while my wife was in GZ. It was a very hard time for both of us then just as it is now. There are still a few family members who don't live close by that want to see Mei. But when I mention taking a 1 or 2 hour trip ti visit them at their home she says , no. Why? She tells me that there is a custom in China that dictates that when a very dear family member dies, the immediate family isn't supposed to visit in the home of anyone outside that immediate family. What I have tried to make her understand is 2 things

1. That I do in fact understand her grief since my own mom is gone and that I know she wanted to be with me during that time too.

2. Most importantly I try to convince her that her family here in Virginia loves her just as much as the family tree in China. My point with that is, family is family. It makes no difference whether they be in Guangzhou or in Richmond, VA. We all understand and share her grief. Can any of you enlighten me on how funerals are performed in Guangzhou and if there are any other customs that I ought to be mindful of?

sure many chinese do it diffrent way,s. some sit with the body just a few days , and the old triditional way is to sit with the body 7 days , before the member is cremated, none is buried , that is forbided, in china, so all are cremated, i think chinese understand and accept , dealth better than we do, just my opion,

[sweattrl1]

On the same day that my wife found out that she was going to be coming home, her mother passed away. Having her back at home is such a relief! Once or twice she has started to shed tears because she misses her mom. I do in fact know how she feels since my mom died while my wife was in GZ. It was a very hard time for both of us then just as it is now. There are still a few family members who don't live close by that want to see Mei. But when I mention taking a 1 or 2 hour trip ti visit them at their home she says , no. Why? She tells me that there is a custom in China that dictates that when a very dear family member dies, the immediate family isn't supposed to visit in the home of anyone outside that immediate family. What I have tried to make her understand is 2 things

1. That I do in fact understand her grief since my own mom is gone and that I know she wanted to be with me during that time too.

2. Most importantly I try to convince her that her family here in Virginia loves her just as much as the family tree in China. My point with that is, family is family. It makes no difference whether they be in Guangzhou or in Richmond, VA. We all understand and share her grief. Can any of you enlighten me on how funerals are performed in Guangzhou and if there are any other customs that I ought to be mindful of?

sure many chinese do it diffrent way,s. some sit with the body just a few days , and the old triditional way is to sit with the body 7 days , before the member is cremated, none is buried , that is forbided, in china, so all are cremated, i think chinese understand and accept , dealth better than we do, just my opion,

i forgite to mention, that in remote country side , they can pretty well do as they please, so i can only tell you about most big cities

[lostinblue]

A friend of mine attended a funeral while in china . As I recall the family walked backwards during the funeral procession.

[lostinblue]

Just allow her to guide you in this matter. When it is the proper time she will tell you. There are times when eastern and western culture will not blend. This is one of them. Just ask how you can help her in her time of need. Yan is not Buddhist but the family went and lit candles when niece had a big exam.

[Kaige]

I am asking if you die in china you have to be cremated.? I have been to the tempels and have seen the little boxes there, is this were you go to.? Can you be put in the ground or is this reserved for the big wig people, or if you have enough money can you have an american style funeral, and can we be inturned there as we are not a chinese citizen, just married to one? Where do we go after cremation? home on the mantel, Omi mountain,