Name Change Question

[aclassic]

This may sound stupid, but I have been thinking about this for a while. What is the custom regarding SO's name. My SO's name is Yang Bo. Yang being her surname and Bo her given name. My name is Anthony B_________. When we get married would it be a good idea for her to simply keep her name as is? If she takes on my last name, then how do we show it when we file for her SSN? Bo B_______? Or Bo Yang-B___________? We need to get this right the first time.

[ed and ying]

This is really a question of personal choice. no right or wrong answer - except be consistent as how you use family name once you make a choice. A search will reveal many discussions, debates, etc on this issue

Edited January 13, 2007 by ed and ying (see edit history)

[rogerinca]

This may sound stupid, but I have been thinking about this for a while. What is the custom regarding SO's name. My SO's name is Yang Bo. Yang being her surname and Bo her given name. My name is Anthony B_________. When we get married would it be a good idea for her to simply keep her name as is? If she takes on my last name, then how do we show it when we file for her SSN? Bo B_______? Or Bo Yang-B___________? We need to get this right the first time.

 

 

Your question is a good one and it is surely not "stupid" !! When it comes to these matters of such importance, there is no such thing as a stupid question !!

 

I know, I have been thinking about this for some time now.....I too, think that consistency is of great importance, no matter what you do. My wife is keeping her Chinese given name, so I am leaning toward just maintaining the status-quo in this regard.

[david_dawei]

yes, the debates can run deep on this issue... I'll share you any links.

 

I think the the same adaptation of the last names is more deeply root in western than eastern tradition.

 

If you really really really really really really really really want to know what her tradition would do, ask her without sharing any comments.

 

She is more likely to do whatever you want over her traditions.

 

My wife to kept her last name; I felt this was consistent with her personality and upbringing and I wanted her to keep it... if she was more 'western' oriented or directed, we might well of decided differently. As it is, we don't have to change anything on paperwork as well.

[Dennis143]

yes, the debates can run deep on this issue... I'll share you any links.

 

I think the the same adaptation of the last names is more deeply root in western than eastern tradition.

 

If you really really really really really really really really want to know what her tradition would do, ask her without sharing any comments.

 

She is more likely to do whatever you want over her traditions.

 

My wife to kept her last name; I felt this was consistent with her personality and upbringing and I wanted her to keep it... if she was more 'western' oriented or directed, we might well of decided differently. As it is, we don't have to change anything on paperwork as well.

Anyone also notice David's post count: 9999? Are you also anxiously awaiting to read his 10,000th post?

 

 

Yeah, yeah, off topic. But, we're watchin' history here!

[C4Racer]

There is no staus quo.

No customary way of dealing with this issue.

The topic has been discuss before.

 

Everyone has dealt with this differently.

 

Some keep their name in tact.

Others move the family name to the middle name and take on husbands last name.

Others, like my wife, drop their family name to take on their husbands name.

Still others do something totally different and hypenate their family name with their new married name.

 

It all boils down to personal preference.

Out of respect I think the decision should be hers.

[C4Racer]

yes, the debates can run deep on this issue... I'll share you any links.

 

I think the the same adaptation of the last names is more deeply root in western than eastern tradition.

 

If you really really really really really really really really want to know what her tradition would do, ask her without sharing any comments.

 

She is more likely to do whatever you want over her traditions.

 

My wife to kept her last name; I felt this was consistent with her personality and upbringing and I wanted her to keep it... if she was more 'western' oriented or directed, we might well of decided differently. As it is, we don't have to change anything on paperwork as well.

Anyone also notice David's post count: 9999? Are you also anxiously awaiting to read his 10,000th post?

 

 

Yeah, yeah, off topic. But, we're watchin' history here!

 

Way to be observant Dennis.

Feeling the pressure David????

 

You know for your 10,000 post must be absolutely all meaningful and filled with everything you have ever learned about China, Chinese Philosophy and their customs.

 

Now that you brought it up Dennis what it be so all powerful as, "Yeah I did it"

That would be a let down???

[Guest Duke]

yes, the debates can run deep on this issue... I'll share you any links.

 

I think the the same adaptation of the last names is more deeply root in western than eastern tradition.

 

If you really really really really really really really really want to know what her tradition would do, ask her without sharing any comments.

 

She is more likely to do whatever you want over her traditions.

 

My wife to kept her last name; I felt this was consistent with her personality and upbringing and I wanted her to keep it... if she was more 'western' oriented or directed, we might well of decided differently. As it is, we don't have to change anything on paperwork as well.

 

We married in China, so it's somewhat more difficult to do a name change but she has elected to keep her name for various reasons. She realizes some people will refer to her as "Mrs. Duke" and she's fine with that. We toyed with several options and finally realized that she had no attachment to the "English name" she used on the website where we met and I had no vested interest in her taking my last name.

[warpedbored]

In China now the custom is for the woman to keep her maiden name. Any children born of the marriage usually take the fathers name. My wife and I opted for American tradition. She kept her maiden name as a middle name and took my last name. All of her ID in the US matches. Her passport still has her maiden name which we plan to take care of pretty soon. Her last trip to China didn't cause us any problems because of it though.

Edited January 16, 2007 by warpedbored (see edit history)