How to resolve disagreement with your SO?

[SheLikesME?]

We talk things out.

Even at midnight, with kids to take to daycare/school before 6:30am the next day, it's more than worth the extra hour to keep talking with her until we work it out.

The times I've let us say "see you tomorrow" without working it out have been the worst days of my life.

 

Listen, and talk.  Give.  Put her first.  Be calm, stable, forgiving, and patient.  Always have the courage to tell the truth, unshaded.

 

That's how we've worked, and we are getting closer all the time.  I love her more each day, and I understand more every time we talk.

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UNderstand? Your lucky!

[A Mafan]

It was a natural understanding that brought us together in the first place.

From there, we've worked hard at it.

 

2-3 hours of conversation every night for more than a year helps.

[SheLikesME?]

Iiieeeeee, constant courtship! (courtship is sorta like a lie, but it is not a lie) I understand that I don't understand.

 

But I know her, but when I get into my job and other necesities I get out of touch very quickly. That being out of touch upsets all women. The nice thing about the very disciplined Chinese is that they understand work distraction and cut you the slack. They remain loyal. And if tired and can't pay attention to the conversation very well then at least I am advised to go to sleep, she understands that, and we can talk later.

 

Huh??? do I understand what I just wrote??

[Jonathan]

What's the need of moving it to the Twisted Candle?

 

I would say, don't give in all the time. 

 

My dad always gave in because he doesn't like any kind of conflict.  After many years, the only thing he could do is letting my mom boss him around and she is not happy about that either.  

 

For example, it would be great if you could provide whatever your SO wanted.  However, with limited resources, you couldn't simple say "yes".  If you invite her to work out a plan together, she might set a realistic objective herself.

 

I hope other wives understand that my comment above is not solely for the benefit of their husbands.  My mom is very lonely at home.  My dad, my sister and I tried very hard to make her happy, but we couldn't.  According to her, if we listen to her, she would be happy.  However, we could not satisfy her continuous desires (even though they are mostly good advices to us), so she is utimately unhappy.

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Joanne, has great advice here. I second this.

 

You don't let your wife dictate all the terms, because it will create a situation where you are taken for granted and eventually disrespected.

You have to have your own input and ideas too, and provide some direction and feedback in the decision making process as well. You don't let women have their way all the time just because it is "easier." Women feel good and happy when they are with a man who can take charge of the situation. It gives them a sense of security, and this is what makes them happy.