Friendship between male and female

[Joanne]

I hope the heated discussion would not cause any of our CFL member's feelings hurt. If that happens, I would regret having started all this.

 

My original question was: "Is it possible to make friend with opposite sex, and truely without intention of marriage, if you are single? " This is not a question I could answer, because I have always been in a marriage or in serious relationship ever since I was 20. However, I feel obliged to do my share here.

 

Like I said before, I always believe that men and women can be friends. I have quite a few friends from opposite sex. With only two exceptions, my ex- and my husband, I don't feel any trace of sexual interest from them (not even from my husband when we just started). I always know that I am not sexually attractive (nor ugly), and I don't feel bad about it, and in fact prefer it this way to some extent. This is possibly why my male friends treat me like a friend. They treat me just like they do to their male friends except that they quite telling colored jokes when I come along. I know some of them do tell colored jokes in front of other women or girls. I consider this as their respect toward me. Usually, I interact with my male friends with a group, but I didn't deliberately avoid being with one alone. Occasionally we meet/chat one-to-one, but that does not happen regularly, and it mostly happen due to the circumstances. I was happy to have helped some of them saving their relationship with SOs.

 

A related thought is, I think husband and wife's relationship change over the years, it starts from sexual relationship (but always more than that, otherwise a prostitude would serve the needs) and develops more towards friendship. According to scientific studies, chemicals wore off gradually with time. The marriage can only last if there is more content to it.

[LeeFisher3]

Joanne, as you can see there are extremely different views on the question you ask and while we have these different views I do not seriously believe that anyone has hurt feelings because of this, but each of us knows the other one is right.

 

As young children, boys and girls play together without realizing there are differences in gender and race, you can see this every day in the playgrounds, those things come later in life. Much of this is learned behavior, the majority of what we learn is not taught in school, but through observation. We observe those we love and respect and we learn, we see others behave one way or another and we learn, we are affected by others behavior and we learn. This has a strong influence on how each of us views the world and the relationships we form. As we enter adolescence and hormones strongly enter our lives the influence of others takes on a whole new meaning as each of us tries to deal with the world.

 

Two children can be raised identically from all appearances, by the same parents, but can become extremely different people. One may distrust and hate anyone who is different than what they consider normal and the other could demonstrate a trust and love of all mankind. I don’t believe any of us really understand what causes the vast difference, but we see it every day. We don’t know what causes the world to have both a Hitler and a Gandhi, if we did the world could be a much better or worse place.

 

Is it possible for men and women to become friends without any intention of marriage or sex? It depends on the individuals, but yes it is possible.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

Sigmund Frued intrepreted everything about sex. That's what happens when you talk to sick people all your life.....

[tywy_99]

Remember the movie "The Blue Lagoon"?

 

No one taught those kids anything about sex and sexuality but they discovered it theirselves. Things like that cannot be reasoned; it just is. The nature of the beast, to say the least. (I'm a poet and didn't know it...)

 

I tried Platonism once and like I said earlier, it is good in theory.

 

Maybe sceintist will find a way to bottle it one day!...Damn, I got to quit doing that; rhyming that is, not sex!

Edited November 6, 2005 by tywy_99 (see edit history)

[Trigg]

Sigmund Frued intrepreted everything about sex. That's what happens when you talk to sick people all your life.....

166388[/snapback]

HEY!!! Wait just a minute there!!! Well, maybe you have a point.