chinchillax

I am getting married to a Taiwanese woman in 3 months, and we will apply for marriage license in Taiwan. However, Taiwan registration requires these two certifications (single and in comliance with the laws). Where can I obtain proof that I am single and I have not committed any crimes in the US?

People will still smoke regardless, no one will really stop them when they want to light up. Beijing is just trying to clean up and create a better impression for people coming for the Summer Olympics.

update to this thread.... I recently found out from her aunt and her dad over the weekend, that she quit her job. She didn't like the job (not sure why) and just quit (stopped showing up for work). She now stays at home, chats online, plays computer games online, and plays with her dog. Also, I was told one of her friends wants to introduce her to a guy...I wonder if the guy would like a girl who is like self-centered and lazy....haha! Luckily, I didn't bring her here, otherwise she wouldn't like what I have and she would make me miserable!

I am not surprised it wasn't reported locally. The CCP usually wants to keep these things tight lip since there are many people that have a grudge or hatred toward Mao/the CCP and the gov't want people to believe they live in a utopian society and that this incident was a minor incident but at the same time the gap between the poor and wealth grows ever wider.

I may try to pursue another girl in China. I already have new prospects there, one in Hangzhou and another in Guangxi. However, I may just look locally and not aboard anymore, some friends tell me just look for one at my church. I am still heartbroken and don't feel the need to waste time and money again to fly to China only to have a girl get cold feet on me again. Maybe that one just wasn't meant to be. God must have given this one to me as a test, though I've been tested many times before in several relationships, but this was the first one that involved someone being 7,000 miles away. I need pray to God to guide my path to the right one. I want to thank everyone again for the advice and encouragements! Be positive!!!

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company. Thanks for everyone's help on here.

I mention to her before I am willing to go there to be with her and lose/sacrifice my over $85k a year job here in the US, just to be with her. If I were to be english teacher there I'd prolly only make about 20,000 yuan a year. My chinese is okay enough to get by, but its not enough for me to find decent work there, unless it was through a US company. She knows I this, would be a huge sacrifice for me. I remember at one point she told me don't do that for her, she'll just come to the US instead. **sigh** As for her dad, he cared about me a lot and treated me as a son. I listened to him. I am sure he'd like to hear from me again. He told me my wrongs and rights...and helped me try to understand her world better.

I just think you underestimating the importance of being together.. she is waiting alone.. without you by her side. IMO, there are some who cannot take this very well and it distances their resolve and commitment and belief in the other person's commitment. Clearly she has insecurity about the future unknown and leaving what is known... that's not going to go away easily, and particularly while apart. If she is immature at heart, or whatever... her security is in china; that's what she knows, sees, and feels every day. That's why I recommend you go visit her and stay if possible till it's over... or part ways if she doesn't want to continue. I can tell you this: If my wife were reading this, she would say, "why does he only talk and not go to china"... I did already go there back in January. I don't have the time to go again right now since I have work. Though I wish I could go see her soon and console.

She knows I am serious about it, but is she serious about it...that I don't know. I think she just worries too much about many things such as adapting, whether i would love her or only care about making money, her future here in the US. She knows I am a Christian, and she told me before she is also a Christian, but her faith wasn't as strong as mines and had a few doubts. She supposely understood things such as unconditional love and loyalty... But then again like I said, recently a lot of pressure from parents, friends, and family may have made her think more that she doesn't wanna come. Before she really wanted to come to be with me, but it was just this past month that she gave this a lot of thought. Marriage is a risk, same goes with stocks, health, and opening small business. Take things slowly and learn more about each other is the best way to go. I don't have a problem speaking chinese since I am one, but sometimes I wonder whether or not she listens to what I say, since she is shy and to herself a lot.

I feel like calling her dad, tell him about what I've been thinking these past few days. However, I think he is still upset and frustrated over what happened. I just hope he doesn't give her too much pressure again. I still have emotions for her. How long should I wait to call again? I was thinking calling this weekend or should I give more time for her to think more over. After all we've gone through, why give up so easily like this? She even thought we had some chemistry together, although some lack of understanding and pressure I think made her think about this a lot and give up. After all her dad did tell me she wait for me to take her (marry and bring to the US) for over a year and a half. There still has to be at least some emotional feeling within her about me.

I sent her in the mail a sealed tin filled with Marshall Field's Frangos! She loves chocolates and perfumes, but I just sent the frangos for now and I also sent her a letter in there I am thinking about her. Is that okay to win her back?

It was pretty obvious she wasn't ready for marriage. Plus, pressure from me, her parents, and relatives all made it worse. I am not sure what to say or anymore. I pretty much just given up hope on this girl. I put so much time, money, and energy with her for this to become the way it did. It would be a miracle to see her come back to me and give it another chance, but I don't see that happening as she said she isn't interested anymore in coming to the US or leaving her family. I haven't seen her online these past 3 days either.

I used MDBG.net It translates both traditonal and simplified chinese to english or vice versa. oh and this site you can practice and learn chinese by taking a quiz.

The right attitude........you didnt lose her.....she lost you! I am not sure what you mean by this? and I still not sure on what she thought, was she really that scared, thought I didn't love her, or so much pressure from parents, family, and friends. I don't know since she never says anything....*sigh* You have a great attitude about yourself and you mentioned many of your attributes. Keep this attitude...you deserve a woman who will really love you......one who will speak up, one who will be with you despite what family says or does, one who wont let all the worries bother her, because being with you is more important than anything else..... .....she seems very unsure, worried, wont talk, etc, and this will present even bigger problems later on. When a woman is head over heels for you, she wont be giving you excuses why she cant go to American to be with you........rather she will be giving reasons to her family why she should go! So......in light of what I said.......she lost a very good man. Keep the attitude that you are the best and deserve the best. You didnt lose. When you meet the right woman who loves you more than anything else, then you will really understand what I mean. There are two books mentioned in this thread. Read at least one of them, and it will help you move forward. thanks so much for the encouragement ameriken and everyone on CFL! I like your the part in your sig, be positive. Yes, right now I am heartbroken and sometimes its hard to stay positive after spending so much time, money, and effort to be with her only to have her turn cold. I don't wanna sound like I am repeating myself, but yes she has a lot of insecurity and I wonder if that will help with her finding another man, her parents told me they can always introduce her to another guy if we don't work out, but they really loved me because I was caring and loving to her and them and my family is very well to be in the US. They knew I can support her and she would have a better life in the US. I wonder how will the her next relationship turn out. If she is self-centered and insecure then it may just turn out to be the same that happened to me. ^ Is this the bigger problems you mention could be this? Nonetheless, stay positive! move on!

The right attitude........you didnt lose her.....she lost you! I am not sure what you mean by this? and I still not sure on what she thought, was she really that scared, thought I didn't love her, or so much pressure from parents, family, and friends. I don't know since she never says anything....*sigh*