lilac6451

Hi Cguo7, I feel sorry for what you have experienced in China. Maybe part of what you feel is called Culture shock. I know how you feel when you are in a place where you are so unfamiliar with. Isnt what we, all Chinese moving to America, feel ? I figure it is not uncommon that while we are working with Americans, one time or another, we feel left behind, because the Americans tend to talk to Americans than to us Chinese. Second, I dont know if you understand why that Chinese woman teacher is yelling at you. It doesnt make sense she just yelled at you out of no where. She must have talked to you, asked you something that she expected an answer, but you cant understand her,so you didnt, which she think you are arrogant, especially when you look so Chinese? Anyway, I feel bad for your experience. But you can always do something to make things easier. For example, trying to begin talking with them, if they laugh at what or how you say Chinese, believe me, they are doing it in a good sense. Because if I tell you that when I am trying to teach my husband Chinese, he always almost choked me to death to listen to the Chinese he speaks, then you might believe me. They might laugh at you once, twice, three times.. but they will get it over sooner or later. Sometimes we should learn to have a thicker skin in order to blend into a different culture, right? Good lucky lilac

sary hrd tu tipe lafing tu hrd Totally agree! Deep down, though, you really should feel sorry for someone who can write that and honestly believe it. Yes, I did, am doing, will always believe in my country, not like your wife, two days after she went to America, she thought she was an American already.

Not so. It is not based on province. What happens is that in some provinces there are certain ethnic groups and any ethnic group that is not Han is legally allowed to reproduce like rabbits. Han Chinese in Yunnan are under the population planning rules. true and not true, china is not as rigid as usa govt control Not a very lucid statement that anybody who has been in China for more than 4 days would find true. When the Chinese government wants to exercise control, they can do it very rigidly and in the most brutal ways imaginable. Oh, really? Show us an example. As far as I know, when the fishing ship went to the coatline of Russia, the Russians fired at them, killing 7 out of 16. Last month, the same thing happened in the Chinese coast line by American so called research ship, did we kill the Americans? Negative. You must be confused. Tiananmen, Tibet ... dozens -- if not hundreds -- of lesser incidents of the government exercising brutal control. For those who are not freethinkers, I did not say that any forms of rigid, brutal control are wrong. I simply say that it exists here and, more often than not, much more than in the USA. Ok, if some of the protesters took a gun, went out of control and began to kill people, what would your government do in that situation? I think the answer is very obvious. Why did you support some of the Dali Tibetan riot? What is your propose? You want China to split into 30 tiny countries as USSR did? Did your government allow any of your state to break away from the union? I think History has told us the answer. And talking about brutal, everybody knows how many Americans got killed during the Civil War? Do you want me to remind you of that? I just want to give you this example to show you that every government could be doing something out of their normal ways, becaus there are always accidents. Dont use that as a weapon to against them. Dont poke your neighbour while you have a fire on the backyard. That is not nice.

Not so. It is not based on province. What happens is that in some provinces there are certain ethnic groups and any ethnic group that is not Han is legally allowed to reproduce like rabbits. Han Chinese in Yunnan are under the population planning rules. true and not true, china is not as rigid as usa govt control Not a very lucid statement that anybody who has been in China for more than 4 days would find true. When the Chinese government wants to exercise control, they can do it very rigidly and in the most brutal ways imaginable. Oh, really? Show us an example. As far as I know, when the fishing ship went to the coatline of Russia, the Russians fired at them, killing 7 out of 16. Last month, the same thing happened in the Chinese coast line by American so called research ship, did we kill the Americans? Negative. Because despite moaning about it, the Chinese government was too smart to fire on a US ship in INTERNATIONAL waters. Firing on the US ship would have been an aggressive and unjustifiable response in both the view of the USA and the UN, and bought heap big plenty trouble for China. They were aware of this. So they just harassed them, and mooned them, and the USA was too smart to be aggressive to the Chinese ships to justify an aggressive response. It's a good thing both of our countries military leadership have the good sence to think such things through. Of course the political spinmeisters and uneducated masses... that's another story. Good thing they're not in charge of the military. Oh, but what does comparing a Russian and a Chinese unrelated naval action have to do with how strict the USA and China are about civil law. Just an excuse to inject a smidgeon of venom? I am perplexed. My example just serves the propose of denying the saying that our government is brutal, by some guys here...actually our government is people friendly. By the way, according to the news here, the USA ship did go inside our waterway... it is lucky for Americans this time. If they went near/inside Russian coastline, they would have lost their lives, at least some of them.

Jin, in a lot of ways, we think the same. Last year, I posted my ten likes and ten dislikes about America, and that started a furious " War"... one American woman called my names, which made me feel so bad and that was when I quit posting for a while. Jin, I understand exactly how you feel. I have a decent job back in China, good salary.... Nothing can never match that in America, I know it, which makes me feel disappointed... I am trying to think more good things about America, like this recession, we can take it both as a chanllenge and a chance, right?

Fact: there is a govt policy of 1 child Fact: the enforcement is different depending on location or who the person is Fact: the gender balance is not what would be normal without the policy in place Concern/Topic: this will cause some problems in future (as discussed in Chinese and global media) Debateable: usa gov't is more rigid than chinese gov't What you said was fine and true but does not change the fact that the current policy has caused a gender imbalance. in some areas and for some people the policy is not an issue or enforced but overall it is. what was the point of your post .. that the issue does not exist? And you did not need to include the last part... both gov't have policies and laws and both gov't allow exceptions based on who you are, connections, and money. \ I think you made a mistake of generalization of the problems back in China. Yes, we have the birth control policy, one family one child. Do you have problems with that and want to see by next century there are no other races than Chinese/ Yes, the minorities have their special policies, but to say they reproduct as rabbits are rude and out of touch with reality. I think there are limit to two or three. Yes, there are some people back in China trying to kiss the people in charge's face just to have more kids.... but isnt that corruption happening everywhere in the world, including in USA? And there are a few who care boys more than girls, but then again, you cant generalize it, in which Jin is right: not all Chinese care about the gender of the kids. You cant say the birth control policy causes a gender inbalance, there is always a gender inbalance. If memory serves me right, the number in America is 1:1.o4 and china is 1:1.06? What a big deal?

Not so. It is not based on province. What happens is that in some provinces there are certain ethnic groups and any ethnic group that is not Han is legally allowed to reproduce like rabbits. Han Chinese in Yunnan are under the population planning rules. true and not true, china is not as rigid as usa govt control Not a very lucid statement that anybody who has been in China for more than 4 days would find true. When the Chinese government wants to exercise control, they can do it very rigidly and in the most brutal ways imaginable. Oh, really? Show us an example. As far as I know, when the fishing ship went to the coatline of Russia, the Russians fired at them, killing 7 out of 16. Last month, the same thing happened in the Chinese coast line by American so called research ship, did we kill the Americans? Negative.

Thanks, Amando, they are nice pictures. Your son is handsome. I miss China so much, good news is I will visit China this summer...

I know what kind of treatment your wife is getting, no matter if it works or not, it makes her feel better...hope you can get her into America as soon as possible so that you can take care of each other, or maybe you can move to China.

From what you post, I figure you live close to New York. If that is the case, you can use some of the Chinese Travel Agencies. Never try booking tickets online, because they are very expensive, unless you try priceline.com. But even that, it cant guarantee your the best price. This is the agency's phone number: 212_240_0401. I bought the airline tickets from them last year about the price of $ 860 round trip. They speak English, Chinese and Cantonese. If you communicate with them in Chinese, you have a better chance of getting a better price.

Today, I got from the news that American government wants Chinese government to buy more of their debt just for the bailout.

Unemployment benefit is unemployment compensation

I have the strange feeling, the more I look at the Chinese girl, the prettier I find them...quite theopposite considering American girls...

Not bad at all. I bet that you apply those lesson to your life today too, Lilac. Never have that kind of experience, but I will if I have to...

My aunt, born in 1958 in the northeast part of China, got married to her husband, a freelance. A worker in one of the brick factory in her city, she used to make 47 yuan a month, gradually risen to 150. Two years after their daughter was born, they bought their first house at the price of 7800 yuan in 1989, in the same year when my aunt was laid off claiming umemployment of 265 a month. Now, their daughter is in her last year of college,and the couple has a personal saving of 35000 in the bank. Are they poor? I dont know. I will show you the statistic of necessities in her city. ( 1n the 1980s) A Chinese bagel cost 25 fen, various vegetables at 10 fen a jin, rice 50 fen a jin, pork 1.85 a jin... while the most expensive stuff should be the cooking oil, which was 2.50 a liter. Let's calculate: three people with one jin of rice a day, that is 31 jin a month, which totaled at 15 yuan. On the whole, she managed her housewhole within 30 yuan. That is how she ended up with a saving of 35000. Not bad right?

I partially agree with you that "displays of affection between parents and children are very uncommon" . We hug our children when they're very little. By the time they're in their early teenage years, we gradually stop doing all those hugging and kissing. If a teenager still hugs and kisses his or her parents, most of the time, most likely he or she would be told something like " look at you, you're a big boy/girl, still act like a baby." These words don't mean to reject a kid's hugging or kissing, but he certainly starts to feel that adults are expecting him/her to act "more mature". But without hugging or kissing each other don't necessarily mean we love our kids less than people of any other culture. B) Applause, you are right on the money. All mothers are the same no matter where they are from.

According to my understanding, Jin, just wants to recommand us that woman writer, her story of how to deal with ups and downs in life ( that writer figured her way out through Buddism/meditation). Jin didnt try to promote any religion. I have no religion. When bad things happened to me, I learned to be tough and self-dependent...and I know time will cure everything. That works for me. Everyone has their own way of handling life. The way the writer is taking is not bad either.

My experience is similar to yours. After you get married,you'r wife will do what she wants about her son. If she wants,SHE WILL DECIDE to bring her kid here or not. My wife has taken up with a lesbian who adopts Chinese babies,and my wife thinks that lesbian friend is going to get her son here faster. My wife needs to convince her ex-husband in China to give permission to let the boy go. I dont concern how honest or nice this lady is. No matter what she is telling you,once she gets to America ITS UP TO HER what to do about her Chinese child. Also,IT DOES NOT MATTER that you like this child. If she finds another way to get her kid over here YOUR FEELINGS are in the toilet. Toot, try not to be so negative to chinese women or man, you had your experience, others are different. to chinese (as i'm sure to many western here wife is #1) you must commit totally, if you are "cheapskate" then you start badly. all of us no matter from where are judged by our actions. this is a mixing of 2 cultures and families we all have much too learn. please dont generlise about others from your experiences, you shaped where you are now as much as she did/does. remember life is like a movie, you are your character but the story is not yet told, you need to except and live though your negative, its your place now, but better not progect that others, it does you no good. toot face your pain walk into it, except it and you come through it, self presevation is self denial which leads to much disharmony. Breath, meditate, accept. sorry very off topic on topic you are fine, family is family Thanks Again everyone, even the negative..... Her son will have a slim chance of coming here, but that is ok, what ever happens, happens. Her son lives with his father and grandparents, they have much money and the child has everything he could ever ask for. They live in a great house, go on vacations and what I see lives better then many american children. He would of course always be included in our lives and in our home. My only concern was my own feelings on leaving a child behind, yet I see our culture and the way others think it is just what it is. To my fiancee, all she see's is that her son has a great life, and is very well taken care of. Of course we will be back to visit often. Again to all of you thanks for all the input and help John and SiYi Thanks for being nice and considerate, not everyone will worry about the stepson being leftover here, let along take him over to America. No matter what your So did, is doing or will do, one thing you can be sure, she will always love and treasure her son....The only reason she didnt include her son into the trip to USA could be she wants the best for him right now... You know there are a lot of uncertainties here... the job, the environment, educational system, the language... Just be prepared: One day, when she and he are both ready, he might ask you to get him to USA.

I was picked up from my city among 25 other teachers and sent to UK for 6 months for the teachers' training courses. While from there, we went to visit Switzerland, Sweden, France, Germany, Italy, Austria, Hungary,Holand and Luxembury.... On my second trip back to America from China, I had a half day stopover in Seoul... While in USA, the only states I went are New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Newyork, California... Back to China, I have been to almost all provinces, except Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan, Inner Mongolia, And Tibet.

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Americans should learn more eastern ways of doing things, like exhibiting courteous and politeness when handling with people from other countries, insteading of being arrogant, ignorant( I dont mean all, but some people tend to always use very unnice words relating about China, and I mean those people)... China should learn more western ways of doing things, like collecting more income taxes from people to spend on scientific researches like "global warming"

I cant see the pictures.

You only need a degree or certificate if you want to teach at univerisities or colleges. Most high schools pay around 6000 to 8000, with all free accommodations, with average 4 periods a day, five days a week. For a teaching certificate, go to your local educational bureau, they will give you all the brochure you need to apply for the certificate.

Uncle Tom, the funny thing is some of you read a little bit of AMERICAN Chinese history and you think you know everything about China. For all the events mentioned, like Tian An Men Square movement ,the case is like that :for some Chinese who wanted to know details about it, they obtained it already, for the most they didnt even care about it. You can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink.