Christopher

This sounds like a decent way to approach the situation, with one caveat: the decision shouldn't be completely up to her, as the seriousness of your own feelings toward her and your intentions for the future should also determine what you're willing to do (and, depending on the situation you may be walking into with a young lovestruck chinese woman, what you're willing to let her do with you). many of the chinese women i know are VERY willing to express their love for their man even before marriage. unfortunately, though, i've heard of a few cases where the american guy thought he would be in it for the long run, but then his plans changed. your intentions seem to be in the right place. but to play off of your metaphor: don't think like a boyscout (i.e., "i'll do it as long as she wants to"). be a gentleman, err on the side of caution and romance. if you do, she'll want you even more. Well, that's precisely what I meant by Be Prepared. Nothing would spoil a nice mood, and provide an opportunity for second thoughts like having to run out for a 3 pack before going further.

Sprint. I have a special deal though my employer. $17.60 a month gets me 450 regular minutes, unlimited nights and weekend minutes and unlimited messaging. No SIM card on this thing, but it's the only company with a decent signal where I live. OTOH, the young lady I am going to meet is going to loan me her old phone. I do have an old AT&T phone I could bring along, but it had crap reception. Christopher

OK, having taken all of y'alls input and digested it, here's what I've come up with for my travel. neck pouch: -- passport w/ Chinese tourist visa -- boarding passes/reservations -- money/credit cards/ID 22" carryon: -- 1 pair canvas pants -- 1 pair chinos -- 2 long sleeved shirts -- 2 short sleeved shirts -- belt -- tie -- 4 pair undershorts -- 4 pair Coolmax/X-static socks -- trail runner shoes -- dance shoes -- bathroom kit messenger bag: -- ziplock baggie -- sleeping kit -- modest gift for the young lady -- computer gear -- photo gear -- iPod -- electrical adapter -- 2 ink pens -- a few dozen paper napkins -- baby wipes -- 2 or 3 new books -- extra change of underwear & socks -- extra toothbrush bathroom kit: -- american style TP -- antidiarrheal -- laxative -- ibuprofen -- ranitidine -- ambien -- razor -- comb -- antiperspirant -- dental floss -- toothbrush ziplock baggie: -- hand sanitizer -- toothpaste -- shampoo -- hair gel -- deodorant body wash -- facial wash -- shave gel -- antifungal cream -- hydrocortisone -- antibiotic cream -- sunblock sleeping kit: -- neck pillow -- eyemask -- ambien -- 3 oz Bacardi 150 proof rum computer gear: -- laptop -- headset -- mouse -- power brick -- Ethernet cable -- sound cables photo gear: -- digicam -- UV, CPL and IR filters -- extra SD cards -- charger & spare battery clothes to wear on the flight: -- hoodie -- short sleeved shirt -- cargo pants with drawstring -- slip on shoes Before I go: -- get vaccinated for HEP A I have a nice deal in that I can park at my office and take a bus to the airport, so I will leave my cell phone and car keys in my desk.

I dissagree Matt. It depends a lot on how long you have known each other and other things. I would hazzard a guess that the vast majority of us tasted the forbiden fruit on our first visit to meet our sweeties. A lot of it may have to do with her age group and whether or not she's been married before. It's the old, "If she'll have sex with you, she'll have sex with anyone" trip That mindset is common all across Latin America. Probably all over the world except for most of Europe. In my experience, it's a mindf--k that men lay on women to control and commodify them. As far as I am concerned, the young lady is in charge of deciding what she is up for. She's not a little girl anymore, and her family is hundreds of kilometers away. I'm just going to be a Boy Scout about it, and Be Prepared, because she ought to have a good time whatever she wants to do.

Actually, American ginseng is an interesting idea to bring in summer time since it is 'yin' (cooling) , compared to chinese ginseng 'yang' (heating). Hopefully, they'll not interpret it as they need to 'cool down' in any other way The heating kind of ginseng is not for female use, and men aren't supposed to use red ginseng for extended periods either.

Tums usually leaves me worse of than when I started. Ranitidine acid reducer, on the other hand, is excellent stuff. Also, the hotel I am staying at, the Jin Jiang Inn at #62 Wenwu Street, IIRC, supposedly takes foreign credit cards according to ctrip.com, but I've noticed that Jin Jiang Inn is a hotel chain and the other one in Chengdu does not take foreign credit cards. So given previous experiences with Chinese businesses, I am looking at that as a red flag. Hmm, I should figure out if my debit card will work in Chengdu to get cash from an ATM. So maybe I take $700 in hundreds with me, change it all when I get there and use my debit card for emergencies. I will definitely check out Computer City. Christopher

Aside from what I wear on the plane, I will probably take 2 pairs of pants and a few long sleeve shirts, some good socks and underwear and a pair of nice shoes, no more. I'm not going to rely on buying clothes there, since I will probably have an even harder time buying clothes in China than I do in South America, where I am lucky if the largest size in the store fits. However, I will have my girlfriend find me a tailor and see if they can put together a nice sports jacket for me. Tell me more about small gifts, though (see caveat below). Of course. But a gentleman is prepared for anything, and I'd rather have something that won't break right there, than have to run out and get something. I had to twist the young lady's arm pretty hard to get her to agree to let me pay for everything while I am visiting her, because she doesn't want to be seen as a gold-digger. On the other hand, I feel awkward coming in and looking like a big shot distributing largesse left and right. Not that I'm poor, but I'm afraid it would set expectations for later that I couldn't meet, because I certainly can't keep up that performance in the USA. I was thinking a 1/2 kilo of American white ginseng for her parents. I found a nice Swiss Gear bag with a padded strap for her, with places for an ipod, cell phone, and so on. I might tuck something inside that as a gift inside the gift, possibly a DVD or something like that.

Check, anti-diarrheal, laxative, ibuprofen and acid reducer. Not a big drinker, so a glass of wine at night will do. Gotta figure out what to do about nitrates though. Electrical adapter and extension cord, great idea. Digicam is in the kit already. I'm thinking K-3, and I will be taking several trips over the next year if this thing works out. Any other immunizations? My little brother had Hep-C, and that was no picnic. He spent a year taking something that knocked him flat on his back every time he took it.

I'm leaving for Chengdu on the 14th of May, returning on the 25th. OK, so far my list of must-haves gleaned from reading the archives includes: -- modest gift for the young lady -- American style TP -- baby wipes (cleanliness is next to godliness) -- raincoats for Mr. Happy -- my travel laptop (with skype and headset) -- iPod -- digicam -- eyemask, neck cushion, Ambien & alky for sleeping on the plane -- passport w/ Chinese tourist visa I'm hoping to get away with a 22" carryon to unpack at the hotel and a messenger bag for gear I will use on the plane. Also,what is the deal with hotel laundries in China ... do they understand the difference between normal wash and gentle wash, etc?

There's nothing inherently wrong with chaos. I'd say there are some net positive benefits to chaos. If things are too tightly controlled, we run the risk of stagnation, or worse. The problem is, law enforcement (or any other type of security apparatus for that matter) requires that its agents operate with privileges that ordinary citizens do not have. Police powers, as the Libertarians correctly point out, are called theft, kidnapping and murder when ordinary citizens do them. That is why the people who enforce the law need to be at an arms distance (at least) from the people who decide the laws. More likely, a scenario where law deciders also do law enforcement, would devolve into an extreme dictatorship along the lines of Eritrea, where most of the population are now enslaved by their government. To take things to an extreme, I suppose that with the aid of ubiquitous law enforcement backed up by artificial intelligence (so as not to occupy 1/2 of the human race in surveilling the other 1/2) somebody could achieve a semblance of total control. That somebody would also destroy the species as we know it. The elimination of risk taking behavior in young men alone would suffice, IMO. The point is, things will not stay the same no matter how hard we try. The best we can do is identify the behaviors that we really can't put up with and firewall them off. There will always be arguments about the size and composition of that list. Some people will include lipping off to their elders/superiors/social betters on that list, as the biblical Israelites did. Others will not. But that list should never be maintained solely by any one segment of civil society, because they *will* use that power to their advantage.

I had a stout the other day, that went down really well with dark chocolate. The foam was dark brown. 16% alcohol content. An amazing beer.

Read all about it!

I see 5 possible outcomes, which are not mutually exclusive (1) Many Chinese males will leave China to find wives in other countries (2) Many unmarried women in other countries will go to China to find Chinese husbands (3) The current reluctance for Chinese men to marry divorcees and widows will disappear. A new reluctance for Chinese women to marry divorced men and widowers will appear. (4) Homosexuality will become more prominent and may even flourish in China (5) Women will marry at a younger age and will marry more often as they will be in demand and have no need to put up with a less desirable husband. Men will marry at a later age (since older more financially able suitors will vie for the hands of young brides) and will spend more time unmarried between marriages. According to my sources, the real shortage in women is in the rural areas, since they need a man to run the farm, and a lot of the girls leave the farm to work in the factories. The classic consequence of having a shortage of females is increased violence, this is the usual outcome in polygamous societies, such as the Middle East, the Zulus and the Yanomamo Indians of the Amazon. I see no reason why it won't play out the same way in China. I can think of 2 other possibilities: conquest of southeast Asian countries to provide wives for unmarried Chinese men and the use of prostitutes. Increase in homosexuality is a pretty unlikely outcome. In Mediterranean and prison cultures, homosexuality by otherwise heterosexual men has more to do with establishing dominance than actually getting off. In the meantime, I guarantee that the Chinese government thinks the shortage of females is just fine and dandy, since that guarantees the next cohort will be even smaller, reducing their population even more.

How difficult would it be to get a 1 year, 2 entry visa for my first tourist visa? Christopher

The young lady I am courting in Chengdu works for a Buick dealership (the Buick Lucerne is the best selling car in China) and she says business is crazy in the last 3 months. As a result, closing the books every month takes a week (6X14 hour days) longer than it did last year. Given the current economic outlook, management doesn't dare hire more help, and she doesn't dare look for another job.

Yes, I've been using a proxy server for quite a while now. Somehow, the Great Wall is blocking YouTube there also. For now, I'm not using a private proxy though, and may need to find a company and pay the fee. I'm not sure however if China has developed a technology to begin blocking that. does greenrabbit.org work over there? No. It also seems to be blocked. What is it? Free proxy server. I use it to circumvent the filtering at work when needed.

Yes, I've been using a proxy server for quite a while now. Somehow, the Great Wall is blocking YouTube there also. For now, I'm not using a private proxy though, and may need to find a company and pay the fee. I'm not sure however if China has developed a technology to begin blocking that. does greenrabbit.org work over there?

I was using Ctrip from the US, maybe that was the problem. Or maybe my issuer was the problem. I didn't see a way to use Paypal or I would have done it that way.

The problem with Chinese sites is that you have hassles paying with non-Chinese credit cards, you have to fax them copies of the CC card and your passport. At least that's what I had to do with Ctrip. I ended up ordering my round trip ticket from Shanghai to Chengdu via CheapoAir.com, which cost about the same as Ctrip.com ... Of course, the week after that, I found a roundtrip fare to Chengdu using Cathay Pacific for the cross-Pacific leg $100 cheaper than the total fare I paid.

There was another guy whose mother died in the car of respiratory disease sitting in the back seat behind him, because some deputy couldn't wait to write the ticket until the guy had delivered her to the emergency room. All for an expired plate. Hell of a way to go, sitting in the back seat of your sons car choking your life out, while he gets a ticket written. No excuses, medical emergencies trump expired plates every time.

Many Political Science Majors believe the next real war the US will have will be against China. I hope not. China has increased its military spending over the years and the US has been putting a stronger Naval presence in and and around Chinese shipping routes. Right now a Naval confrontation with the US Navy China would be mauled very badly but in the next 10 years who knows. Also the US Navy could cut off the oil supply to China very easily today. China could seek an ally in Japan or India to help counter the US. US military spending is 10 times that of China, and will remain so for a long time to come. The US Navy is already changing to meet new challenges like fighting in shallow seas, dealing with superquiet diesel/electric subs, supersonic cruise missiles, and so on. China is much more focused internally than externally, and that will not change for a long time. Much of the US Naval presence in the Southern Pacific is for dealing with piracy. Considering what would happen to world shipping if we stopped the Navy from patrolling those areas, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen soon. Confrontations between Chinese and US military forces are deliberate, but not intended to actually lead to a full scale confrontation, unless we have a bunch of young hotheads running things in the Chinese military doing stuff not sanctioned by Party. More like imposing a little loss of face on the US, in tit-for-tat terms.

I have to loose my remembered UN's and PW's ...damn it better be worth it. You should not need to delete your cookies. For Internet Exploder: click "Tools" in the men bar, then click "Options". On the "General" tab, click the button labeled "Delete Files". For Firefox: click "Tools" in the men bar, then click "Options". Select the "Privacy" tab, and click the button labeled "Clear Now ...". Make sure only the checkboxes for "Cache" and "Offline Website Data" are checked, then click on "Clear Private Data Now".

Where did this possible gold nugget of esoteric wisdom come from? You are saying to delete your cookies before you search for ticket prices? When you ask for a page from a web server when you have a copy of it in your browser cache, server either tells the browser to use it's local copy or sends a new copy of the page. Most often, its how old your browsers copy is, that determines whether the server sends a new page. It's too complicated to program the server to send a new page based on whether price happened since your cached copy was downloaded. In that case, what happens when an airline decides to sell a small block of tickets at a discount? If your old copy in the browser cache is not old enough, you will not see the discounted price. By the time your copy ages out, if the block of tickets might be sold, the price will be back where it was or even higher. Airlines don't care, they sell the discounted tickets either way. Anyway, don't just delete your cookies, delete the browser cache too.

One thing is to clear out the cache on your browser when searching for airfares. That will help you get the cheapest fares.

Its's been my observation that in many developing countries, taking care of the handicapped is not at all a priority. Even in a well developed country like Argentina, it's impossible to get around in a wheelchair: elevators are usually too small to get in and out of, and sidewalks too broken up. People who can't walk are confined to their living quarters. You see some of the most heartbreaking stuff. One day riding in the subway of Buenos Aires, a woman who had had most of her face and scalp burned off came through the car raising funds for some nonprofit or other dealing with abused women in Pakistan. Just to make things even a bit more gut wrenching, she'd put some lipstick on. It was really hard to look at, the girl sitting across from me was in tears just from seeing it. Personally, I couldn't eat the rest of the day.