jim_julian

... Jim bites his tongue and cleanses impure thoughts. First be happy with each other ... then attack the bureaucracy

I see no downside to getting vaccines in China. It's one more thing out of the way and the price is right.

I said it before ... but I must say it again ... thank you for all your thoughtful replies. CFL is a tremendous resource.

That's the general rule, however, in California if one party is seeking bifurcation and has an ERISA protected private retirement plan as an asset then the other party may insist on a QDRO for that asset prior to granting a divorce decree ... which would be followed sometime later by the full financial settlement. It's not like she wasn't protected anyway because the plan in question was served notice that a divorce was in process.

It would be great if she (or anyone!) could at least outline the basic rules. Every time I'm watching and I think I have it figured out someone makes a play that just doesn't fit my hypothesis.

You can always hope that the "big one" hits and your ex is on the fault line. Hopefully they could get you the documentation you need sooner. 134779[/snapback] Yikes!! I'm not that angry! We've been married for 36 years. She just stopped listening maybe 15 years ago. Nothing I could do was enough. I hung in there until our youngest was ready for high school. I finally left because I couldn't face spending the rest of my life being unhappy. Two months after I said we were getting divorced I met my Yuqin ... July 9 2004. My life has really changed, suddenly I'm looking forward to the future, my stress is actually down, I feel better, I've lost a little weight, and I'm crazy in love. Yuqin and I watched Bambi a few months ago and now she understands what I mean when I say I'm twitterpated.

Thank you for your thoughtful replies. We will just wait ... sigh ...

Hmmm ... I have the opposite problem ... she keeps referring to "our" apartment in China as her apartment. Whenever I mention this she immediately says "Oh yes, right ... "our"". "We" are in process of "finishing" the apartment. (I never realized you bought an apartment that was just an unfinished cement box!) I consult on this with her everyday. I gave her drawings for installing the ethernet boxes and the TV and phone outlets. We actually will have a western toilet and a bidet in our master bedroom. I talked her out of white interior doors (wood finish ... better). So I am putting my mark on the finishing. I fear it won't be ours until it's done, I'm back in China, and my oversized house shoes are in the shoe cabinet.

I mentioned, in a response to another topic, that on Thursday my soon to be ex-wife tossed a legal bomb into a court hearing I was to have on Friday which would approve bifurcation of our divorce and guarentee me the divorce decree on July 29th, which is the minimum time in California. Despite her verbally agreeing to this weeks ago, her lawyer seized on a provision of law that allows her to force formal agreement (QDRO) on retirement plan division. According to my divorce lawyer this will take 6-8 weeks and therefore push my divorce decree out 4-6 weeks. She smugly observed, "It will take you a year to get a visa anyway ... what's two more months?" In response to this situation a thoughtful CFLer suggested that I file the 129 right away without divorce documentation thus establishing my "place in line" for the eventual K1. I would then expect to get an RFE and by that time could immediately respond with the divorce decree. Does anyone see a downside to this? Do you know of anyone who has used a similar strategy?

Heheheh ... it's also hard to understand when you are watching over the shoulder. I guess I'll just have to insist, on my next trip to China, that people slow down enough to explain it.

It sounds like ... in this thread and others ... that, for K1 couples, the US person is accompanying the Chinese person to Guangzhou during the time of the interview. My understanding is that the Chinese person goes to the interview alone, is this correct? I assume then that the American person is going along for moral support etc. Am I missing something here?

Yeah ... I googled it from every angle I could think of ... My primary source insists the name is "dizhu" and she's quite accurate in pinyin spelling. Perhaps someone has the rules in Chinese and we could run it through the Yahoo! translator, which ought to at least capture the main points.

Does anyone know where I can find the rules, in English, for the three person Chinese card game called dizhu or alternatively dou dizhu? It seems to be a major addiction in the CKG area but I haven't had luck in getting people to slow down enough to really explain the rules ... which are not apparent from just observing.

Hmm ... "intent to marry" ... we have hand written letters to each other that say we intend to marry as soon as lao po gets to the US. One of the posts mentioned "form". Is there some form for this? Does something need to go through the notary process?

My lao po also wants to work ... maybe this is silly ... it's gonna take a year. Does anyone have any direct experience in the conditions working at a Chinese casino? Yuqin certainly loves to play cards and, maybe I'm prejudiced, she is very beautiful. I had a sister-in-law who dealt blackjack at Tahoe and made significant money without too much hassle. However, when it comes to SoCal casinos my antennae are up ... is this safe?