lele

Admit it!!! you tried to do this!!! (I did. ) I just *did* lick my elbow (well I did not actually do but I got my tongue to touch my elbow and that was close enough, thank you!!). However, I am double jointed in my elbows, so I am not sure if it is considered cheating?

I also have recently heard "no problem", even when there is no problem. I think that its cute, but I am not sure if it is just for Chinese, as many thai people and vietnamese people I know tend to say it a lot as well.

There is a policy which would allow me to go for a family emergency. This would be quite fine. The only problem is that I am still a graduate student (doing research which is what pays for my education and life, although to teach some day would be a nice change of pace, desirable to doing full-time research!). However, there is one remaining class (only offered once a year) which is required for me to complete my exams. The only problem is that it is offered in the Spring only. It is a requirement for degree completion. I could get the time off, but then I would have to wait an extra year before I would be able to take the class and hence advance. This is likely worth the pain, if it is what it takes. I just was hoping that this is not what it would take! I really do thank you for your advice with this and all of your thoughtful and deep comments throughout the site.

Your story of courage and perseverance is a wonderful one!!! I think that your love shines through, and I wish the two of you the best. I for one will be in China during my winter break to spend time with my precious. However, money aside, if the interview were to be scheduled during the school year, then I would have two options: 1. go to the interview and MISS 1 YEAR OF UNIVERSITY (minimum, maximum, I must leave the university) or 2. Wait until June to attend When the options come down to this, I am aware that I am willing to do either (1) or (2), as my precious will be forever. However, it would seem EXTREMELY unfair and horrible, likely creating a toxic environment that neither she nor I would want to live in, if it had to be done. We would definitely be united in this view. Given the realities of such a situation, although your wisdom seems to prevail, the logistics seem to indicate to me that unless the interview happens to fall during one of my breaks, that it will be impossible to attend. What would the people here, who have gone through the process, both the seemingly easy ones (like Tony) or the more difficult ones, recommend?

Oh! That sounds absolutely terrible. How did your case turn out? I hope that you have been able to finally reunite! (I do not want to push you at all on a topic which may be sensitive for you, so please, feel free not to respond.) Best wishes to you.

Wonderful News Tony! Congrats!! --- Now, if only Boston's luck can continue to carry...

I was scared of this too. However, given that I do not eat any red meat, I decided that the heads were not so much of a problem anymore. This is really an issue when you travel inland and where the fish tend to be contaminated with mercury (and hence are not too edible). Amber, be lucky, at least you live near the sea!!! Can you get good korean/japanese food in Dalian like you can in Qingdao?

The idea of showing up sounds absolutely wonderful. I wish that I could. However, what would people recommend in a situation where the petitioner is a student or in a job from whcih they can NOT take off, except for well defined periods of time which tend to be long, but are nicely spaced every 6 or 9 months apart? I would hope that my case is not unique, but if it is, what is the better thing to do? When the process requires that the person be present, but will not allow flexibility with the scheduling of the date, nor the petitioner to actually enter and join in on the interview (as is allowed in most other nations for a K1/K3 interview) then what is the point of it? It seems quite frustrating! PS. what is a yellow slip?? PPS. a true visa nightmare: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/29/opinion/...d=all&position=

Amber: I first learned of SO as an undergrad. The reason why people used it was to be sensitive to people of different sexual orientations. It means "significant other".

Amber: Interesting question about the bargaining! We each tried to go individually when we bargained. Then we realized that we always get the same price when we work together. We will go in. They will try to get me to buy with a price that is far too high. My darling will then push it down a bit, to see where they stand. If they agree to her offer (which we have discussed is our maximum price that we are willing to pay for the item (we usually aim to allow them a 10-15% profit, but not more)), then that is it. If they try to bargain just one time, I then drop the price more!!! This confuses them. They often loose their train of thought and wind up settling on a price lower than the one that we first offered to them. And for the times that this trick does not work, we try the "currency conversion" trick. We will go in with US$, Euros, etc. and we will trade back and forth with many different goods bundled and unbundled, often offering to pay in different currencies. If they ever can not do the dealing quickly enough or make a mistake, we then purchase, smile, and walk away quickly. However, we only do this when people do not agree to our initial fair price, or make anything other than a reasonable counteroffer. If their counter offer is reasonable, then we stay reasonable too. Does this seem fair or are we being to harsh or too serious with the sellers? Has anyone else tried these tactics before as well?

Wow! Amber, you got to try slikworms too??? I tried with my darling's parents in their home town. It was quite a unique experience for me. I have to say that I would like to try them again actually, since I chickened out so badly the first time (I tried a little, but could barely hold it down). How did you enjoy the delicacy???

2 Days ago in NYC, I just had that!!!! So good. Mmmm. The fact that the chef just came from Chengdu may have helped though... I can not wait to go back for some real Chinese food again!

Fun Thread! I just heard this one today: "wo yao shopping"

An interesting thread. For me, I have always been able to be friends much better with Women than with other men! The same is true for my darling (for a Chinese Woman, she has many male friends, although she also has a few close female friends). For me it has always been somewhat obvious though, my personality is very emotional (I am an ENFP for example), and I hence seem to connect better with women. I also have been much more serious in my social topics, and I guess that women responded better to that. However, I also have been very good at communicating where my boundaries were with all of my friends. So, I am not sure if my case can really extend to another person. I just wanted to throw in a different perspective to the mix, and to see what other people thought!

I thought this was an issue at first too, but it can not be the sole answer: There are more mexican illegal people in the US than Chinese and more from many of the SE asian nations too (like Thailand/Phillipeans/etc.) but, then I heard a story that really made me flip: A friend of mine, on a J1 visa, was able to get a J2 for his wife (both are multiple entry visas, good for 5 years) into the US with only a 5 week wait. And, they are from INDIA (another poor country that a K1 takes forever from). Why is it that if we were a non-citizen, that the process would be so fast???

Good Point! So, I guess i should just smile that I will soon go and visit my dearest in China and hopefully, we can go together to Thailand!

A candle to help bring more happiness, light, and warmth to the world. A beautiful image! Thank you.

A good question Tony. I would propose by helping to reduce the poverty and environmental damage around the world. I would suggest by helping to raise the standard of living and by providing education and health coverage to people who are less fortunate. I know that this runs counter to the mainstream thought, and certainly to the dominant expences in us foreign policy since the end of WWII, but I think that it is the best way to go, in the long run. If we did want to stop everyone, how many people would it take? Say 40 for every mile of boarder (20 for the day shift and 20 for the night shift)? But the boarder is HUGE!!! More than 10,000 miles if we include all of our boarders (including sea boarders). This also does nothing for airports, or for outlying possessions like hawaii, puerto rico, and alaska. The numbers are staggering...and seem beyond being reasonable unless we turn into some type of police state (ie: nazi germany). Can anyone think of an alternative if we are to go the route of actually policing EVERY inch of our boarders??

Rick, I am really sorry to hear about your personal pain of being shot. I can not understand that feeling, as I have never been shot before. However, from what I could begin to imagine, it must be beyond comprehension (in a negative way). Hence, I hope that you feel better and wish you a full recovery, both physically and emotionally.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3962969.stm http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?...p?id=ns99996596 http://www.iht.com/articles/2004/10/29/news/toll.html http://quote.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=1...yceuDI&refer=us All of the above links point to the 100,000 people argument.

Well, for those of us looking at the bright side, next month is only 1 week away!!!

I know that the 85 is from 2001. However, this is now 2004 (and sadly almost 2005...yikes!). And over the past 18 months, there have been more than 100,000 civilians in Iraq who have been executed/killed by American military and paramilitary forces. This is state sanctioned killing, the same as any court or other suspect judicial action / police action. What about the police officers who shoot and kill suspects, both innocent and guilty ones? Amnesty International went on to mention that this number was in the order of thousands. I am sorry if I was unclear, but I was talking about state-assisted / state-sanctioned executions (or the killing of civilians by the state). In the quote of a few thousand for the US, I was ignoring the civilians in Iraq. However, I guess that they should be lumped into the figure, since we are responsible for that too (Geneva Convention says that any occupying power is legally responsible for the safety and welfare of all civilians in the territory that they are occupying...where civilian is defined as anyone who is NOT a member of a state sponsored military). I will concede the point that judicially decided executions in china is higher. OK...enough for me on this thread! I do not want to get into politice too much here...pm me if you want to talk more, or if you have information for me that I have missed!

I have read stories in the chinese press about the fact that there is a 114:100 ratio of boys to girls. And I know enough from science to know that it should be within 100:102 - 102:100, so I have a heads up that there is a selection bias. I do wish that they were more forward about it however! However, did you read in the news that Air Pollution in both China and in the US cause more fatailities each year than do all murders and car accidents combined (the two typically reported preventable forms of death)??? That was in the lancelet, the world's premire medical journal. It was all over the news in England. It even made it into the chinese news (minded though on the english language version sites). However, it was never mentioned in the US. Odd, huh? I personally think that the news is biased in both nations...so we should not use the US as a comparison. In china, the state has some sway over it, and in the US some companies have some sway over it. Just like with the execution rate. In the US, murder by the state is execution. Hence, if a cop shoots someone, that is an execution. When a military person kills a civilian, that is an execution. It was these rates summed together that I was quoting. Sorry for any confusion! Also, I mean no offence to anyone, I am just trying to define the terms clearly that I am using!!! LeLe

Most nations have multiple consulates to do this type of thing. Spreading it out saves money for the people using the service too. Could this be a reason not to: to try to dissuade people? I would actually bet they could SAVE money doing something a bit similar to this. Just tell all of the non IV users of GZ to go to another consulate. If the consulate works on fewer visa types, it will be MUCH more efficient. Good idea!!!

The total homicide rate is lower in China than it is in the US. I just had a link to the site. However, when I claim homicide, I am not looking at work-place related deaths. Nor am I considering deaths of civilians associated with military action. The work-place related deaths would cause china to rise, but the other would place america way ahead of china. Hence, if the absolute number is greater, the per capita rate must be greater. I think that using European Nation states is a much better example...