[Never marry a Chinese woman]

I thought this article was funny:

 

"Never marry a Chinese woman. They're steel rods swathed in flowers," said well known Australian born Hong Kong Journalist Richard Hughes, who was happily married for many years, til death did them part, to a Chinese wife.

Perhaps no truer words were ever spoken, at least about some Chinese women. In fact, to my mind, Chinese ladies seem to come in two basic varieties. Either they are very strong willed or extremely docile. Since I've never had any desire for a docile woman, I am discussing here that other type - "the steel rod swathed in flowers". This woman will care for you, cook for you, keep a great home for you and shower you with love and affection, and she will smote your enemies with the strength of God - so long as you don't cross her. But when you cross her, you immediately become your own worst enemy, and brother, then she will smote you.

The big problem is that you don't necessarily know what will be seen as having crossed her. In your innocent Western thinking you naively believe that so long as you are faithful and true, so long as you bring home the bacon, so long as you are polite and courteous and so long as you refrain from anything drastic like not coming home for two nights, or physically striking her, you should be pretty safe. Well surprise!!!

You cross your Chinese Lady when you cause her to lose face, and there are roughly a million ways to cause her to lose face, each one of which you must learn by trial and error. I have learned a few, but it does little good for me to list them for you, because "a little knowledge is a bad thing". It will just make you comfortable when you should least be comfortable. But I will give you an example of how I caused my Chinese wife (as she then was) to lose face.

We owned a small bar in China at the time which we took turns managing, and which we kept open as long as there was a paying customer to serve. One night she went home at 1 AM but I hung in there with some friends of mine (because they were spending a great deal of money) until about 4 AM, then headed home when they did. We had both done this many times in the past, and she knew exactly where I was and who I was with, so I felt quite secure as I quietly unlocked the door to our home and tiptoed in to avoid waking her.

Well, it turned out that, unbeknownst to me, she and a friend had been talking earlier in the evening, and the friend had indicated that her husband never stayed out past 1 AM, and the friend was very proud of that. So on that particular evening I caused my wife to lose face by not coming home with her at 1 AM. I had caused her great shame in the eyes of her friend (how the friend knew I had stayed out late was never explained) and this was no small loss of face, if you can judge by the near bloodletting I suffered for my crime. And yet, the next time I stayed out late, in the same circumstances except for the intervening friend, all was well. Go figure!

The good news is that unlike Western Women, who will make you pay for days (or years) for your crimes, Chinese women tend to let you off as soon as you've appropriately groveled (this must take place in your home, which is actually her domain, not yours) for an hour or two, and you've told her your sorry, and lastly, you've bought her a gift (do not forget about the ever important relationship saving gift). But if you want to get off without dismemberment, do not act as if you don't understand what you did wrong (even though you inevitably do not understand). Suck it up, admit your guilt, and promise never to do it again, even if you have no idea of what exactly it is that you will not do again, and life will be back to normal in short order.

And the really good news is that this "steel rod swathed in flowers", when you haven't just caused her to lose face, is like your own private bodyguard. Your little Chinese woman will be the greatest ally you could ever hope for. She will kill for you at the slightest provocation to your face - unless her Mother is the source of the threat to your dignity, in which case you probably just committed unfathomable another "face" crime yourself.

There, have you got it all figured out? No? Don't worry, Chinese women can be as frustrating as trying to figure the stock market, but it's their very unpredictability that is one of their greatest charms. I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with anybody else.

By Harry Monk (nom de plume), much experienced with life in China, has had several long term relationships with both Western and Chinese women. He currently lives in China and is happily committed to a three year relationship with a beautiful Chinese lady.

 

http://www.chinalovematch.net/magazineArticle.aspx?id=6

 

RW - added link

[Snow in Wuhan, V2]

... I'm guessing you also missed the big International News Bulletin about Train Stoppages, Airline Reschedules, and Riots in Central China due to the Snow (but hey, I could be wrong). ...

Yep, wrong. I posted here about it as did others. When the sun shines you wear sunglasses and sunscreen, when it rains you use umbrellas and splash the puddles, when it snows you go sliding and have snowball fights... all of that happens in Chicagoland. Gawd bless four distinct seasons!

 

Sorry it dampened your trip.

[Snow in Wuhan, V2]

After 3 weeks of being sick with the flu, I've finally retrieved the photos. Here's the link - please only view if you like SNOW...

I do love snow but your pics look like they were taken through a window. No skiing? No sledding? No snowball fights? It's great to have four seasons!!!!

[GC on the way]

http://www.virginmedia.com/microsites/movies/slideshow/the-simpsons-movie/img_3.jpg

 

TIME TO SING, DANCE AND HAVE A PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Inflation hitting China big time]

Oscar you are behind the times..........

the caboose is past, no more and all of that replace by the End of Train Device.

Same thing, end of the line. On the canvas but not counted out yet. As a Texan once said, "bring it on" and one day we can all say again, "mission accomplished." Of course he dad said "no new taxes."

[Inflation hitting China big time]

I hear that train a'comin... it's not Thomas the Train or the Peace Train either... more like the Boxcar and Caboose for the good old USA but we won't go down without a fight. Neither will China but their fight won't be with us.

[Ant Scam in China]

I really feel for those people who fell victim to this scam. Some lost everything, including their lives.

 

Ant Scam

http://www.solarnavigator.net/animal_kingdom/animal_images/insect_praying_chinese_zorak_mantis.jpg

"Never trust ants or the people who sell them"

 

You can blame the guy who spearheaded it or maybe even the people gullible enough to risk buying into it but what really stinks is the government involvement in this scam.

[Property in China]

... Did any one look at the RMB exchange rate today?

http://www.collegesportingnews.com/stats/2008/writer/exchangerate.jpg

 

That's the USD falling against the YUAN

[Wedding prices soaring: to be or not to be married?]

Just wait till I find the love of my life. They will make the changes effective the next day.

Exactly my thought Smitty, exactly my thought.

[Any one know of a good Western restaraunt]

Yeah, but he asked for a GOOD western restaurant...

TACO BELL!

[switching to english]

I just Googled the topics at www.google.com and eventually got the instructions. For Windows the settings are somewhere in Control Panel and for Internet Explorer the settings are in Options/Languages. You have to find the Chinese fonts you need (again Google) and install them for both. Hope that helps a little.

[Marriage Brokers]

Thanks, the warm welcome is a relief but was not unexpected considering the esteemed members here!

 

Two questions about the chnlove IMB.

 

I wondered if we will be met with an agency fee if we were to one day get married.

 

How do women generally view meeting and corresponding to men through a "marraige service."

 

Thanks in advance for the answers and now I will take this to a more appropriate thread.

[Marriage Brokers]

BTW, I ask this stuff here because I found this site very helpful and the members very knowledgable. The chnlove forum software really stinks and I would like a place to talk about this stuff that isn't so heavily moderated.

[Marriage Brokers]

Thanks to both of you. I do want to let you know that I am new here but I am a responsible forum member. I searched "chnlove" and read all the threads first. So I saw that many used it for introduction to possible life partners. That's what I did too.

 

The reason I asked is because I am spending a lot (to me) of $$$ (to me) using their email service. I narrowed it down to one woman who wrote me first. I paid to get her address/phone/email info and stepped off the "pay to play" train. We have exchanged many regular emails and pictures. I called her and we have talked many times (wow, her profile said learning English but she spoke it very well, made me ashamed because beyond the basic pinyin and Mandarin I am lost...but learning too). So I wondered if she may be hindered (or me) by a large agency fee if we were to one day get married.

 

I have taken to recording mp3's of me reading poetry to her. I am interested in her and would like to know how she may generally view meeting and corresponding to men (I hope I am her only one now) through a "marraige service."

 

Thanks again!

[Marriage Brokers]

It's important to clarify the differences between a "Marriage Broker" and a third party match-making website.

 

The bill passed earlier this year deals only with Marriage Brokers. A Marriage Broker is a third party business that charges a fee for match-making. There are hundreds of these companies in China. All charge extremely large fees to set up profiles, take photos, and troll for unsuspecting men in the world....

 

Many liken these brokering agencies to human trafficking agencies. Meat markets of human flesh...

 

Is chnlove this "Marraige Broker"?

 

I signed up to meet a woman from China, not a meat market. Let me know. Thanks.