Name Change

[JeffandJade]

Hi All,

I have a question about filling out the forms what name to use. Obviosly after we are married she will take on my family name, but we also want to change the first name from Yu Rong to Jade and use Yu Rong as middle name. Should I fill out the AOS forms like this? Can I change her first name on the marriage certificate? (ex old name Yu Rong - new name Jade with my last name after we are married).

 

Thanks in advance,

Jeff

[Kaige]

I think I would wait till all paperwork is done here so as not to confuse I.N.S. as they are always confused, we have not changed yet, waiting on the green card and then we will change things

[lele]

Hi All,

I have a question about filling out the forms what name to use.  Obviosly after we are married she will take on my family name, but we also want to change the first name from Yu Rong to Jade and use Yu Rong as middle name.  Should I fill out the AOS forms like this?  Can I change her first name on the marriage certificate? (ex old name Yu Rong - new name Jade with my last name after we are married).

 

Thanks in advance,

Jeff

What about the *flower* portion of yu rong! yu rong is a specific reference to a specific type of jade flower. If you have been to chengde, you can find one there, or if you have been to suzhou in jiangsu, you can also find one there. it also means clever and a traveler (at least I have been told). It seems like a whole bunch of names that will need to be changed!

 

Oh, congratulations on being together!!!

[warpedbored]

When Bing and I got married we decided to move her maiden name to her middle name and take my last name. As far as Social Security, the DMV and our bank were concerned no problem. When we filled out her AOS forms we used her new name. When we got to interview the USCIS officer explained to us that we could use either her maiden name, my last name or a hyphenated last name using both but not use her maiden name as a middle name. We opted for my last name but when her green card came it has her former last names first letter as middle initial. I would presume that the same issue would concern her first name. They will probably say no. At some point though you could go to court and change it I suppose.

[jkobman]

Sarah and I were married with her Chinese name - Xiao Wen Xia. We went to Soc Sec and got her a card as WenXia Xiao Kobman, and then on to the Virginia DMV with the same name. After she gets her grren card, we will apply for a legal name change to Sarah Xiao Kobman.

[JeffandJade]

Thanks for the info guys,

So my fiance name is Wang Yu Rong - would it be ok if I fill out the AOS and SOC SEC forms with YuRong Wang Lasher as her name - then change after she gets the greencard to Jade Wang Lasher so she can retain her Chinese family name? Just wondering the most logical and legal way to go about this.

 

Thanks,

Jeff

[LouRose]

Obviosly after we are married she will take on my family name

Hey! Why do you say "obviously"?? I mean, if she wants to change her name thats great, but lots of women don't nowadays and in China they never even did, so I don't think its an obvious thing.

 

No offense, seriously I'm not against it or anything if its what you decide to do, I don't mean to imply any animosity. I just want to point out that there are more choices now, its not so clear cut.

 

In fact I was also wondering about this process, for the far-off day when my husband gets to the states. Can immigrants change their names at any time or does it have to be when they first get there or after a certain point or what? Is the process different than if a citizen changes their name?

[warpedbored]

I guess you could say obviously since the vast majority of women in this country take on thier husbands name when they get married. To each their own but I see no reason to take offense. Many Chinese women do keep thier last names when they marry here but I think the majority do take on the husbands name since it is generally the custom in this country. Call me old fashioned but I prefer my wife to have my last name. If it had been a major issue with her though I wouldn't have called off the wedding.

[Jeikun]

When Jun gets here, she will change her last name to mine, and take her maiden name as her middle name. Since her first name has only one syllable, it will be really easy. We had discussed at length her taking an "Americanized" name, as many of her friends have (even ones still living in China - as nicknames) ranging from a total change, to one with a similar meaning, to simply adding an 'E' (June). We pretty much decided against it.

 

The only difference there is I, and everyone I know, tend to pronounce it as "June" not the more correct "Juan" I'm glad it wasn't romanized that way too... I'd keep thinking of Juan Valdez and his donkey bringing that morning-fresh colombian coffee.

 

As for how to do it, since I'm from Virginia, I think I'll go the same route as jkobman.

[Stats]

Obviosly after we are married she will take on my family name,

Just out of curiosity, why is this "obvious"? Many choose to respect her culture and she keeps her father's last name.

[JeffandJade]

Changing her last name to mine does not mean she does not respect her culture. It just means that she respects US culture - the place she happens to be living in now, in addition to her Chinese culture...

 

In fact Jade is the one who told me when we discussed this "Obviosly I will use your last name after we marry because that is the culture in the US and we are marrying and living in the US right?".

 

I think it is very very common in the US after a couple marries they take on the husbands last name. In fact I would venture to guess maybe about 99% of the people marrying use their husbands last name after marriage. I would even go as far as to say that - given that we are living in the US - and such a huge percentage of people here use the grooms last name after marriage - our decision was "obvious".

 

Jeff

[Stats]

I would even go as far as to say that - given that we are living in the US - and such a huge percentage of people here use the grooms last name after marriage - our decision was "obvious".

 

Jeff

That is where you and I greatly dis-agree. You might be correct for all marriages in the US. However, that is a pretty off-base sweeping generalization for marrying a Chinese woman.

 

I'm not sure how much you really understand her culture. It is pretty disprectful to her father to assume your name.

 

If it works for you, fine. Just don't generalize. For me it was a given to honor her father.

[johnxiaoying]

My wife wishes to take my last name. That is how she refers to herself. She will have her family name, given name, and soon a new last name.

 

Everyone will be honored and we are a blending of two cultures.

[Jeikun]

Ok... here's my take. YES China has a culture. YES it should be respected... but SO DO WE. America isn't all cheeseburgers and disneyland. I don't understand this mentality that whenever US culture differs from another, it's only right that the US culture be overwritten, replaced and/or ignored. My fiancee CHOSE to marry an American, she CHOSE to live in America, she CHOSE to largely adopt our culture as her own. If I were moving to China I would do the same.

 

I can understand if it were personally undesirable to one of our fiancees, why we wouldn't ask them to change their name against their wishes. But from what I have seen, MOST of the fiancees and wives of members of this board have been more than happy to do just that - because they respect their NEW culture.

 

I think questioning whether or not Jeff understands Jade's culture is a bit of a low blow. It's not just about that. Understanding Chinese culture doesn't make American culture evaporate like an illusion or mist. Relationships are about COMPROMISE.

 

In the US a name change would be assumed. Jeff is an American. Where is the question? If she had said "I don't know how I feel about that", then there would be a reason to discuss it. Otherwise, what's the big deal? No need to jump down his throat for using a word. No reason to be offended either. Your harsh reaction is a little extreme I think. Jeff's posts have shown him to be nothing but concerned for his fiancee and her happiness. I think that is undeserved.

 

I often read these posts and wonder why is it when we as Americans are in another country, we are supposed to adhere to, accept, and try to adopt their culture... but when we are speaking of a foreigner coming to America we are supposed to adhere to, accept, accomodate, and try to adopt their culture? Has our culture no value? Shouldn't visitors and immigrants to our country attempt to do what we would do in theirs? Compromise, work together, value BOTH cultures.

 

Just my opinion. Maybe you think I'm just some "American Pig"? I assure you that's not the case. I just have as much love for my own traditions and values as I have for those of others.

[Carl]

This is a subject I also discussed with my Ying. As is, she does not have a middle name, only her given name and her family name. I told her that if she wanted to keep her name I would not have a problem with that. However she has insisted in taking my name, so I told her I that I wanted her to keep her family name as her middle name.

 

What I think will happen is when we are in China, and as far as her family and freinds are concerned her name will always be Jiang Ying, but in the US her name will be Ying Jiang Sharp. That is something I can live with.

 

There are some here who will agree with that decision and others who will not, but such a decision is ours, and ours alone to make. So if we are not concerned about it, nobody else should be either.

 

Just my thoughts and 2 cents worth.

 

Carl