Are You Hungry?

[Dave G.]

Yesterday, I was out with my wife looking for office furniture and I was starving. I wanted to stop and eat but wanted to consider what she might want. I asked, "Are you hungry?" She exploded.

 

We're still in the throws of the incident. My point is this: How can I ask her what she wants to eat if I don't know if she's hungry? I ask first if she's hungry then follow up with what she'd like to eat.

 

Her point: What a stupid question! If it's lunch time, of course she's hungry. If I ask if she's hungry, then I don't care about her, haven't watched what she's eaten for the day, and am not willing to get her food. WTF?

 

It's actually quite funny now (for me, anyway). When nothing much is going on, I'll ask, "Are you hungry?" Oh...her English is so good now. She respondes with, "F--- you." I really love this gal!

[Robert S.]

They expect us to think in the Chinese way. Also they seem to place a great deal of importance on food schedules. The explosive psychodrama is what I feel resentful about. We need a Chinese wise man for an advisor here on CFL.

 

So much of the way they think is truly opposite to the way we think. When you asked her if she was hungry the opposite of that is "I think you should not eat now." This interpretation of your words leads to her statement that you were not willing to get her food. Because of course you should have known that she must be hungry so obviously you must have been trying to assert the opposite.

 

This is all very amusing to have these cultural exposures. Later you laugh about it but you are not completely unscathed.

[Guest blsqueaky]

I have to admit, Ling has no problem telling me when she is hungry. Today stopped at the store, by the time we got in the car, she already had the chips open.

[se_lang]

Yesterday, I was out with my wife looking for office furniture and I was starving.  I wanted to stop and eat but wanted to consider what she might want.  I asked, "Are you hungry?"  She exploded.

 

We're still in the throws of the incident.  My point is this: How can I ask her what she wants to eat if I don't know if she's hungry?  I ask first if she's hungry then follow up with what she'd like to eat.

 

Her point: What a stupid question!  If it's lunch time, of course she's hungry.  If I ask if she's hungry, then I don't care about her, haven't watched what she's eaten for the day, and am not willing to get her food.  WTF?

 

It's actually quite funny now (for me, anyway).  When nothing much is going on, I'll ask, "Are you hungry?"  Oh...her English is so good now.  She respondes with, "F--- you."  I really love this gal!

Some where I read about this, The logic goes the more you notice about her the more you love her so I think hence the out burst, or she is just on the rag.

[tonado]

Conclusion:

 

The wife believes that the husband can read her mind. And don't ask stupid question.

[oregonknl]

Interesting question..

 

When I was with Fei in Thailand this one day in Feb. we had spent a rather athletic morning, and had spent considerable time on the powder white local beach, and then window shopped in the local town --- covering a lot of ground...

 

About one in the afternoon I asked her if she was hungry, (I really wasn't) and she said: "oh, I don't know..... are you?" Even though she was trying to act casual, I sensed a little desperation in her voice, so I said: "sure!" And I could see the relief on her face...

 

We went to an open air resaurant, (very popular and very cheap --- go to Thailand for the food ~~!) And I asked her to order --- we got four dishes, (I would have ordered two) and she just packed it away! She has always been able to eat more than me ---- and just loves food ---(although her mother, who is a trully GREAT cook --- confessed last week in YueYang that Fei, growing up, was a lazy student in the kitchen...)

 

Who knows were she puts it??? She weighs 112lbs. but is also 5'7" And, how should I put this: is quite slender --- but well proportioned... Anyway, I have tried to be a little more aware of Fei's needs, but yeah, I still forget sometimes.... if you arn't hungry, its hard to remember (or imagine!!!) when someone else is !!!

 

Losely along the same lines of this topic, there are a couple of humorous food stories related to Jet and Eve, maybe I'll post them later...

 

---Kim

[Robert S.]

We need to know what is the cultural background operating in these kind of instances. What are the unwritten rules? It was strange to me when she was first here: I could not even just grab an apple from the fridge without also asking her if she wanted an apple. There is some kind of ceremonial significance to food that is working in the deep cultural imperatives imprinted from earliest childhood. Apparently you must not eat or drink anything without the approval of the other person. I still have not figured out what is the deal with food schedules and the planning of the timing of meals, but I do know the American "let's grab a burger" mentality is out of the question.

[warpedbored]

I dunno about all this. Bing has no problem what so ever telling me she is hungry, The trick is to drop what ever I am doing when she tells me so since she is a like a bear until she gets fed.

[tonado]

My wife is always hungry and thirsty. So I just have plenty of snacks and water in my car. She definitely eat more than me. I don't know how she manages to stay at 105 lbs.

[mari]

You guys made my day!!!!! Yes indeed there's something to food in the chinese culture, mealtimes are sacred... In my case he loves to eat at

the house, but I love cooking. My greatest achievement had been to make him eat pizza, pancakes and cuban food!!!!!!!!!

[Robert S.]

I dunno about all this.  Bing has no problem what so ever telling me she is hungry,  The trick is to drop what ever I am doing when she tells me so since she is a like a bear until she gets fed.

The way Dave could have avoided the trouble was by just blurting out "I am hungry" when he first realized it.

[Guest blsqueaky]

I dunno about all this.  Bing has no problem what so ever telling me she is hungry,  The trick is to drop what ever I am doing when she tells me so since she is a like a bear until she gets fed.

The way Dave could have avoided the trouble was by just blurting out "I am hungry" when he first realized it.

Robert, I am not sure that this always works. I will sit in a place with others and Ling, she see food being served, and I will ask, You Hungry, she will say no, but if she is, then she will say yes, maybe lot, maybe little. Now this is what throws me, little or lot. Now I not know, so I hand menu, you decide, then she says, I not read english, so back to the ????, little or lot. Then have to decide what to order, and pray that I get it right

[MoonCarolCafe]

I have noticed that some women here in the USA will say:

 

"Honey, would you like to have a slice of pizza from that stand?"

"Honey, do you want to buy a hot dog?"

"Honey, are you in the mood for Mexican food?"

 

When what they really mean is:

"Honey, I'm hungry."

[Guest blsqueaky]

I dunno about all this.  Bing has no problem what so ever telling me she is hungry,  The trick is to drop what ever I am doing when she tells me so since she is a like a bear until she gets fed.

The way Dave could have avoided the trouble was by just blurting out "I am hungry" when he first realized it.

Robert, I am not sure that this always works. I will sit in a place with others and Ling, she see food being served, and I will ask, You Hungry, she will say no, but if she is, then she will say yes, maybe lot, maybe little. Now this is what throws me, little or lot. Now I not know, so I hand menu, you decide, then she says, I not read english, so back to the ????, little or lot. Then have to decide what to order, and pray that I get it right

Well it finally happened, she was hungray, asked her, ordered, well found out that she does not like beef barley soup. Only tried one spoonfull, decided,(Ithink maybe she maybe another spoonfull with some beef and vegies on it, maybe different) grill cheese, so-so, last night best pizza in town, ordered BLT pizza, loved it. Go figure.

 

Carl, finally have enough in the house now, if she is, she gets up, finds what she wants, then either nukes, opens bag and starts to munch

[Mick]

I agree with all that has been said about food and Chinese culture. It is deeply ingrained in the cultural mind of the nation. Also, while living there, I discovered that it is also a Chinese custom to refuse an offer several times before accepting it.

 

Also, "Have you eaten?" is a common form of greeting but really has nothing to do with whether or not you have eaten.

 

With Li, we never had a problem around the food issue, except when she was pregnant. Then she was always hungry.