tonado Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 > Do not eat natural foods. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I> learned that most people die of natural causes.> ___________________________________>> Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are > removing a> weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the> ground easily, it is a valuable plant.> ___________________________________>> The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a> replacement.> ___________________________________>> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.> ___________________________________>> There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.> ___________________________________>> Life is sexually transmitted!> ___________________________________>> An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.> ___________________________________>> If quitters never win and winners never quit, then who is the fool who>> said, "Quit while you're ahead?"> ___________________________________>> Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.> ___________________________________>> The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.> ___________________________________>> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person > to use> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.> ___________________________________>> Some people are like Slinkies; not really good for anything, but you > still> can't help but smile when you see one take a tumble down the stairs.> ___________________________________>> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of> nothing.> __________________________________>> Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days , no one talks> about seeing UFO's like they used to?> ___________________________________>> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.> ___________________________________>> All of us could take a lesson from the weather; it pays no attention to> criticism.> ___________________________________>> Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax > cut save> you 30 cents?> ___________________________________>> In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is> weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.> ___________________________________>> Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to> realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.> ___________________________________>> How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a> whole box to start a campfire?> ___________________________________>> AND THE #1 THOUGHT: You've read about all these terrorists. Most of them> came here legally, but hung around on expired visas, some for as long as> 10-15 years. Now, compare this to Blockbuster -- if you are two days > late with a> video, those people are all over you.>> Let's put Blockbuster in charge of Immigration. Link to comment
jkobman Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 hahahahahahahahahahha http://funreports.com/images/newsline/Laughing_Man_23.GIF Link to comment
frank1538 Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.Why is it that when you find something, it's always in the last place you look. Studies have concluded that saliva causes cancer - but only if swallowed in small quantities. And, one of my favorites about a ficticious beer: Studies have shown that Tree Frog beer causes cancer in rats, so we stopped letting them drink it Link to comment
se_lang Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 The CDC has determined and Presidnet Clinton has proven, You can get sex from Aids. Link to comment
keelec Posted June 30, 2004 Report Share Posted June 30, 2004 > AND THE #1 THOUGHT: You've read about all these terrorists. Most of them> came here legally, but hung around on expired visas, some for as long as> 10-15 years. Now, compare this to Blockbuster -- if you are two days > late with a> video, those people are all over you.>> Let's put Blockbuster in charge of Immigration. Heck, And it only takes Blockbuster 6 months to get a new release Link to comment
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