"Why Foreigners Marry Ugly Chinese Girls"

[Doug]

I didn't marry ugly, noooo sir. Heck she spins fellers around on their heels too, especially when in a dress. YES she actually wears a dress quite often, & modest ones at that, making her more unusual around here. High cut with sleeves. She didn't get those in the USA I tell ya for sure. But then she gets out to play basketball too & work her garden in a silly hat. Yep I've inspected too. nothing ugly except her husband maybe heheee.

 

She is pushing 47, but I feel like I am with a teen at times. Why she marry me??? She be somewhere in between Twiggy & Marilyn, but tall.

 

Some word like "choda" is supposed to mean ugly. We joke about it. Now we have one of her students, which she thinks of as her second daughter, staying with us now who taught me that word. Men chase this little honey like nothing I've ever seen. She is 26, but I don't see what they do. Men in China chase her too. I tried to line up my cousin's son with another tall student but he picks this one out of a picture. The poor girl. Athlete all her life, so no time for anything else. Has no idea what to do about a man. Wife is having to coach this too, a little...

Edited September 30, 2016 by Doug (see edit history)

[Randy W]

I didn't marry ugly, noooo sir. Heck she spins fellers around on their heels too, especially when in a dress. YES she actually wears a dress quite often, & modest ones at that, making her more unusual around here. High cut with sleeves. She didn't get those in the USA I tell ya for sure. But then she gets out to play basketball too & work her garden in a silly hat. Yep I've inspected too. nothing ugly except her husband maybe heheee.

 

She is pushing 47, but I feel like I am with a teen at times. Why she marry me??? She be somewhere in between Twiggy & Marilyn, but tall.

 

Some word like "choda" is supposed to mean ugly. We joke about it. Now we have one of her students, which she thinks of as her second daughter, staying with us now who taught me that word. Men chase this little honey like nothing I've ever seen. She is 26, but I don't see what they do. Men in China chase her too. I tried to line up my cousin's son with another tall student but he picks this one out of a picture. The poor girl. Athlete all her life, so no time for anything else. Has no idea what to do about a man. Wife is having to coach this too, a little...

 

 

chou de - 丑的 - or nankan de - 难看德 - ugly (just FYI)

[Allon]

The shoe is on the other foot at times.

 

The wife went to China for a while and before she left was an exercise fool. I wondered why until she said she was gaining weight. I said the usual stuff, things like, the more there is to love....Affection was even harder to get from her -- you know Chinese women anyway. She was anything but fat, even too skinny.

 

Well, she comes down the airport runway almost hiding and then running to me. Leans up to hug me and whispers, "I fat...ugly."

 

I sad, No you are not. But all the way to baggage claim she is hugging on me and smiling and holding my arm.

 

Hey, gain some more weight. I like it. (But not too much.)

[Randy W]

The topic was NOT about "ugly Chinese women", but about the difference in standards between Western and Chinese cultures - in particular, why a Westerner might find a Chinese woman beautiful when the Chinese do not.

The question was originally posed by a Chinese author:

 

 

 

Chinese people have often wondered: why do foreigners tend to marry Chinese women that are ugly? That’s the question posed by iFeng Beauty writer Xu Xiliang, and her answer is as praiseworthy of Western culture as it is dismissive of it.

. . .

Chinese have a strong belief in fate, and even have a special term to describe love that is fated by destiny (缘分, yuanfen). However, Xu says Chinese are incapable of understanding the “Western” concept of finding your “soulmate”. Instead, Chinese will be ridiculed for wanting a partner they share similar qualities with, and get labelled “immature” and “impractical”. Xu tears into the facade of Chinese culture that is trapped into making false choices:

If a man has a wife that is ugly, it is generally accepted that he is a loser. No matter which perspective you have, this is how common people with a material view of the world will think: a successful man should be accompanied by a beautiful woman. And what of ‘souls’? This is irrelevant. Everybody is putting on a show, and what Chinese are feeling inside is not taken into consideration.

And Xu isn’t afraid to confront the institution of marriage tradition in China:

How many beautiful women become brides just to improve the reputation of a man?

So it does not matter that these foreign men may actually find their own wives to be physically attractive — it’s what’s inside that counts. As Xu concluded:

Out of the two choices of being either a “flower vase” to some bigwig with money or an ugly woman brimming with inner quality that becomes the soulmate to a laowai, I believe (it’s the latter) which is the right choice.

It’s simply a shame we apparently can’t have two things at once.

 

 

 

see:

 

Answering the Age Old Question: Why Do Foreigners Marry Ugly Chinese Girls?

 

Before mainland China debuted celebrities of its own like Zhang Ziyi and Fan Bingbing, Chinese women were represented in Western movies by actresses like Lucy Liu, Bai Ling, and Ming-Na Wen. While all of them are Chinese and successful, mainland Chinese pop culture would make one differentiation: the latter are not beautiful at all.

 

[Allon]

The semantics of "ugly" becomes the question in any discussion of cultures. What is "ugly" in Chinese culture? A fat woman? One with freckles like Lucy Liu? And what is "popular Chinese culture?" Can one's own (i.e. a Chinese woman married to a western man) view of their self or view of other Chinese women in China, be a defining characteristic? Or are we limited to what "popular culture" dictates? If so, who the hell is that? The People's Daily? This one author who seems to want to generate a cultural difference that, like many so-called differences, end up up not being a difference at all?

 

I understand Ziyi Zhang is no longer "beautiful." So what is "beautiful" in any culture?

 

My wife finally agrees with me that many differences she has tried to point out between what SHE perceives as being traits of Chinese women, are really traits of women in general, like make up, some cosmetics, and handbags especially, never mind jewelry.

 

Someone who would ask why Western men marry ugly Chinese women needs to examine himself first.

[jonathantwu]

The semantics of "ugly" becomes the question in any discussion of cultures. What is "ugly" in Chinese culture? A fat woman? One with freckles like Lucy Liu? And what is "popular Chinese culture?" Can one's own (i.e. a Chinese woman married to a western man) view of their self or view of other Chinese women in China, be a defining characteristic? Or are we limited to what "popular culture" dictates? If so, who the hell is that? The People's Daily? This one author who seems to want to generate a cultural difference that, like many so-called differences, end up up not being a difference at all?

 

I understand Ziyi Zhang is no longer "beautiful." So what is "beautiful" in any culture?

 

My wife finally agrees with me that many differences she has tried to point out between what SHE perceives as being traits of Chinese women, are really traits of women in general, like make up, some cosmetics, and handbags especially, never mind jewelry.

 

Someone who would ask why Western men marry ugly Chinese women needs to examine himself first.

 

My qualifications are I am a Chinese American growing up in Taiwan and moved to the States (West Coast) at my teen so I am kinda of a mixed bag on this east vs. west beauty thing. With that, Zhang Ziyi was ok looking in China. She was more of girl-next-door type and her roles in action movies does not help her to achieve the Bai Fu Mei ideal of beauty in china. I saw mainly western blokes think she is really pretty; most Chinese won't think she is "beautiful" when she was at her prime.

 

The current beauty standard in China is Fang Bingbing and probably hundreds of stars look like her. Who is not bad looking but you see that dime a dozen walking on BJ streets and definitely not going to get you an extra look in US except certain parts of So. Cal. I was a fan on some Youtube China bloggers put up by most westerners and their choice of companionship puzzles me sometimes. Like I said earlier Mark Zuckerberg's wife is an intellectual giant but you can find much better looking Chinese American females with bigger brain in Palo Alto (just being objective).

Edited October 1, 2016 by jonathantwu (see edit history)

[Allon]

I suppose the answer would be to survey some American and Chinese men on what "beauty" is and show examples.

 

Sounds too much like work to me. Besides, what is In, is In; what is Out, is Out. Tomorrow is another day.

[jonathantwu]

There is no true standard for beauty with beer goggles on not to mention on liberty from the base.....

[DocMartin817]

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