Seeking advice on Spousal Visa

[AT Thru]

Hello everyone, First time posting .. read lots of entries , Great info. I have a few questions . I'm 59 years old and met a woman who is 51 on line, She is from China..We were both married before and divorced about 10 years ago. I have received my 10 year visa and going to visit her. When I go it will be a little over 5 months since we have meet online, We Skype a few times each day for hours and send endless emails to each other. We have met each others parents, children,and friends on Skype. We have fallen in love. She has a good job of 31 years and can retire now and is willing to relocate here. She also owns her own home in China . My question is we want to get married on my first trip there. I know most recommend not doing that. She is not going to quit her job for K1 visa which I understand. She would rather get married and apply for spousal visa and then quit her job when approved. I agree and understand she is giving up a good life to marry me and move here, so she wants to be assured she can get the spousal visa before closing her door to long time job. I also have a good job of 33 years here so moving there now is out because retirement for me is a few years off. But may in the future chose to go back and forth if we keep her home there. my question is will marring in China on first trip after 5 months of long distance relationship have a negative effect on the application process? We know that the wait could be 1 year for spousal visa. We are both aware of our ages and time does play into this as far as wanting to start our life together,knowing that it could take a year after marriage. I plan on visiting every few months during the waiting period. I really like to hear from anybody who had a similar story or general advise. Maybe feed back on what to do know to prepare for successful CR1 approval...Thanks

Edited December 4, 2015 by AT Thru (see edit history)

[warpedbored]

I think getting married on your first trip is unwise. It's the fantasy trip where you'll both be like starry eyed teenagers. That however is your choice. It will look bad to the interviewing officer so as many trips, as frequently as you can between meeting and her visa interview will somewhat mitigate that.

[Doug]

Well AT, Congratulations. If I had it to do all over again, I would have overcome my now wife's disbelief that she could get a visitor visa. I'm saying I would have had her visit the USA first. It has been a drastic adjustment, and she needs to experience the English, and the kind of lonely life we live in the USA, unless you have lots of friends and family you see a lot of here, that will keep up with the socializing they do in China. Also, see your home and how you live. All this will be her life here. ..............We have no regrets now, but just my .02 to anyone. Every person and situation is unique. Follow your instincts. It just seems like their coming here has a huge impact. Everyone in our Chinese group at church says they went through 2 years of second guessing themselves. Their image of the USA is quite different than reality. They live in a happy world of 1950-60s USA in a way over there. At least my wife had that.

[HotBaozi]

Keep good records of all communications, restaurant visits with photos and receipts, travel together, boarding passes and so on. Save them and scan them to a location you can easily find again. Avoid fiance visa, just say no. Keeping good records of your relationship will ensure I-130 marriage visa success. If you want to marry your first visit then do so. I disagree with those who suggest not doing so. You're an adult and can marry whomever you want whenever you want; just keep good and comprehensive records. Good luck

 

Regarding whether to marry now or later should not be your concern. What's most important is to be aware that the majority of marriage based visa relationships end in divorce.

Edited December 4, 2015 by HotBaozi (see edit history)

[AT Thru]

Yes I read about keeping good records and have a file for them on my computer. Is there a way to print out all your skype logs ? Both calling times and the texting through skype? I have looked and did not see how to do that... Also do most people fill out the applications themselves or use a visa service? I have see them for as little as $450 to up to 3,000. The one I spoke to was called rapid visa ( good name right, haha) they said they do all the forms ect. I think I read on here about nobody cares like the person filling them out, meaning best to do yourself. Has anybody here used Rapid visa or any other agency to help with the forms?

[dnoblett]

With help from this site you can DIY the paperwork, you will find that is the case with most on this site, typically all a lawyer does is ask all the same questions that the forms ask you. And any diligent person would take the forms after the lawyer filled them out and triple check the the answers, so may as well DIY...

I did this for my wife from K-1 all the way through her citizenship.

As for skype logs...

https://support.skype.com/en/faq/FA12321/how-do-i-create-log-files

[newguy47]

I would like to second Doug's perspective. You should get married when you and your lady choose to. However, the adjustment for the Chinese lady is very major. I am happy my girlfriend has a tourist visa. She came over in October and there were some things she didn't like such as my house in the country and the food here,etc. The happy 1950s to 1960s life thing speaks to me. I think it was a good thing that my girlfriend is able to think about what she wants in a way that incorporates an understanding of what life is like here in the states. There is much of value that a person gives up when transitioning from China to the states that goes beyond transitioning from the familiar to the new. That being said, you may have described things to her in such a way that it is similar to actually being here to some extent. I just remember how shocked my girlfriend was that cities like San Antonio and Corpus Christi are "boring." To her, a city of a million people initially isn't a city until she sees superhighways similar to what she saw in Beijing.

[AT Thru]

I had the same concerns. I live in a rural area 2 hours form New York city and 1 hour from Philadelphia. She is from a city. We have talked in great length about this. 3 weeks ago I met a neighbor who lives 1/4 mile from me who is married to a woman form China, Yes I couldn't believe when he told me. They have been married a few years and he told me his wife had an adjustment time when she moved here, being was home sick. He told me about qq and I asked my girlfriend had qq and yes she has one. I gave them her number and his wife has been talking to her a lot about the area we live. I think I was more relieved because now she knows, from a woman from China, her perceptive. We have spent 100's hours on skype also

many ,emails, text messages to each other. We have asked each other all the hard question. We are in love with each other and are aware that marriage is always to some extent a leap of faith, all the communication is to narrow the playing field for a lack of words for a successful marriage. We want to take that chance but do not want to hurt our chances on a spousal visa for her by marring on first trip. We are both in our 50's and not naïve about life or marriage...I have seen a filled out I-129 on line bot not a I-130.. Does and one know of one I can look at that's been submitted. I want to see how hard it is to fill out ( I seen the blank forms ). Better yet anyone who would be willing to talk with me on phone that would be great !

Edited December 6, 2015 by AT Thru (see edit history)

[HotBaozi]

Suggest not getting hung up on paperwork. Tourist visas are much easier to get today than even a few months ago. You can try getting one for her and bringing for a visit. See how it goes. If you decide to be together then marry and file I-130. Avoid all other paths. Fiance visa is volatile and unwise. Again, you need to learn whether this girl has the metal to make a cultural quantum leap. And you need to learn just how much of her whining you can tolerate. If she truly wants you then she will show obvious signs that she can make the transition without excessive hand holding. Work hard not to force it

[Randy W]

Fiance visas are still available, and, on occasion, actually awarded, but may become even more volatile and unwise in the near future

 

Obama asks for review of K-1 fiance visas after California shooting

[tsap seui]

AT, I have personally filled out both an I-129F and an I-130 application. There isn't much difference in them. You can easily download (from this very website) an I-130 and take a look at it. As well as the G-325A, and any other forms you want to look at. Thanks to Dan and Randy, and the posters on Candle who have or are going thru the process you have found the best website for attempting an immigration for a person living in China.

 

When you make your application, yes you must fill out the I-130 etc., but in my book the more important info to send in is an EOR (evolution of relationship) letter and as much info, like photos of you together with your woman and yourself together with her family members, proof of your visits to see and actually spend time face to face with her, your communications with her when you are in America, and anything else you can think of to send in; things like testimonial letters from her friends and family that verify your relationship...the list goes on and on. The initial application is your ONLY real opportunity to paint a picture of a bona fide relationship for the USCIS and the interviewing officers in Guangzhou. You absolutely MUST hit a home run with that initial application!!!! While the I-130 and G-325A forms are important, they aren't what shows the interviewers the true bona fides of your relationship with this woman.

 

I am very conservative about timelines but very liberal about information of proofs of relationship. I have seen a few people who married on their first trip, and their woman got their visa, but, that is too scary for me to do. I made my girlfriend, then my wife's applications with the thought that no matter what happened at the interview, I wanted to be able to sleep well, knowing that I had thought out each step of the process, that I knew I hadn't left ANYTHING to chance...visa, or no visa at the interview. My middle name may as well be "Lucky" but I tried my best to not make luck be a part of this important time in our relationship.

 

This is only my suggestion here....You've got plenty of online time with your woman at this point, make that first trip to meet her. Go over and see how you two fit together in person for a few weeks (or whatever your job allows you). Then make another trip as soon as you can. If you guys are certain of each other on that first trip, then take over the I-130 forms and marry on the second trip. Go home and immediately send in the initial application package.

 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you make a kick-ass initial application. Lots of folks get easy interviews, but not all are so fortunate. Load the deck in your favor.

[AT Thru]

Thank you for the responses, I know from reading here how important it is to make the first part of the application right. I have been saving all info to date since the first meeting. Skype info a little tricky to get. We talk both on IPhone and home computers. The home computers and iPhone have same info for chats but not for the video calls. I wish there was a better way to share the screens on phone and computer instead of doing screen shots of it all. we have countless pictures of us with family on skype and just in general sharing our lives and pics, also showing each other our co-workers ect. through skype video in live time and our every lives at times probably 1,000s Like some sort of down load to get info off as it looks on screen would be nice.

 

tsap seui I am just like you and don't like to leave things to chance, especially after reading some stories on hear about the complications. I wish I could see what a revolution of relationship should look like in a presentation format...I mean I know what it is for us but articulating it in words might be a challenge, I have an idea but would feel better if I could see an example. Even an introduction letter example would be good to see. Any chance there is one on this sight? We will not be using the fiancé visa . We will get married in China.

[AT Thru]

Wanted to let everyone know that our approval notice came today for the first stage NOA1. I sent the packet on 3/9/2016 .... now on to the NVC stag...Thanks for all who contribute! A big thank you to Warren for all your help !!!

[tsap seui]

Good to hear things are movin' on. Good luck

[dnoblett]

Study the electronic route through NVC, this involves scanning and emailing documents to them, not mailing.