Happy New Years! - 2014

[Urkidding]

Happy New Years!

May all your dreams come true this year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.hdpaperwall.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Happy-New-Year-2014-1024x767.jpg

Edited December 30, 2013 by Urkidding (see edit history)

[Thomas Promise]

Happy New Year to all! The Chinese calendar deem this year of the Horse.

[Mick]

Happy New Year to you as well cuzin' Andrew! May it be a year of great blessing, personal fulfullment, and spiritual uplifting.

[Thomas Promise]

1st New Years Resolution of 2014

 

 

A man asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking." The man says, " I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one." "What's phase one?" "I've quit buying."

[tsap seui]

Yessir, Happy New Year to you too Andrew, and to everyone else, may your dreams and work come true for you.

 

2013 was a very eventful year for usin out cheer in the rural majesty....tons of construction went on for Wenyan's Leona Helmsly rental business (thank God Wenyan doesn't look like that ugly NYC hag...LOL), bubba Jr.'s hard work paid off in his acceptance to Penn State, and I scratched out more words for this therapy treatment turned into a book thing I've been scratching on for so many years. My part of the construction for the rentals is winding down now. Just finishing up the trim out and only need ot lay a new floor in the next few weeks and then the last of the renovations to the existing rentals will end for me. It was nice to let the Mennonites do the work on the new construction of units earlier this year but I kept the renovation of the older houses to myself.....New construction is one thing, working on older houses, dealing with trapezoid angles is quite another challenge when you are renovating....you fight for every small detail. Yesterday I finished preparing the last door frame for it's trimout. The wall the door was set in was as wavy as Marilyn Monroe, it takes lots of fancy ripping of the proper wood stock to make the finished product not show "Marilyn's" curves....optical illusion at it's best.....LOL With my prep work for nailing the trim up, and Wenyan's following me up with expert caulking and painting skills, all the while humming and singing Chinese songs in that high voice I adore (as I grumble and cuss my way through my prep job) we have managed to make trapezoidal angles "look" like rectangles (as a home should look.) Much as I cussed the previous builders, I do get a kick out of the challenge of old work....and it has been a pleasure to work with a sexy little butt Chinartucky girl instead of tobacco chawing men who smell like they missed their Saturday night ritual of bathing. Floor trim is easy, no matter what. We picked out the floor tiles we're gonna use and I'm holding the height up for the 3/16" lil' buggers so Winnie the sexy caulk girl can finish them with a bead of siliconized latex.

 

Yesterday morning we went to Mr. Accountant's office and turned in our tax report. Boy, there is something I've never done before in my entire life....file a business tax report before April 15th????? Another plus from having a Chinese wife. One whom the words, "I'll do it tomorrow" only gets one into the dog house...."no, white boy, you WILL do it YESTERDAY!!!!!" "Yes boss, thank you for going to Beijing to meet me." I love that lil' gal to death.

 

On the way to the tax man Wenyan got the mail and there was Fengqi's certificate of eligibility for his Chapter 35 VA educational benefits....my my, the VA did something in only 3 weeks? I remain surprised, and grateful.

 

Construction and paperwork soon to end, I've told SWMBO I need a couple of months to do some more scriblin' and scratchin' on that Vietnam book.....let's put it to rest once we finish this last apartment's renovation.

 

So, there is the goal for 2014, finish the book....oh yeah.....with Fengqi going ot live in another city, it's looking like we may well be buying a home to renovate for him to live in during his second year of university. With PU wanting $5,000 for a college dorm for 9 months we got to thinking, why not buy a home near the campus, and let young Dr. Fengqi Zhang become a landlord to a couple of qualifying students....a lil' capitalism with his studies. Give him some spending change, and make a car payment for whatever "black" car (he is Chinese ya know) he decides he wants.

 

Like Wenyan has heard me say so many times when I was trying to unscramble trapezoid angles...."It's always, something." And often it's even funny.

 

Happy New Year....don't let yore head write any checks that yore ass can't cash....know wudda mean Vern?

 

tsap seui

[Urkidding]

Happy New Year Mr. Chop Suie... Great story too! I can't wait for the continuing saga of Animal House! I luv that movie.

[Randy W]

Not much fireworks, but a lot of sky lanterns for the new year

 

[tsap seui]

Happy New Year Mr. Chop Suie... Great story too! I can't wait for the continuing saga of Animal House! I luv that movie.

Animal House? Lord God, Father Guido they is more than quite a few 2 legged critters around these here parts. It's pretty darn funny......sometimes me n' Slum Landlord, aka, Leona Li will sit eatin' hotdawgs in our rusted out pickemup truck rat thar in front of the Sheetz cornvenience store in downtown Everett (they ain't no uptown) and people critter watch.

 

Imma tellin' ya, the parade of big bellys, long beards, huge butts that look like somebody stuffed 3 loaves of Holsum white bread down into each cheek of their Wrangler pance is nothing short of incredible....AND THAT"S JUST THE WIMMINS, what we sees walkin' in to gits their chawin' bacca, snuff, n' cheep hotdawgs.

 

Now, that ain't to say me n' Leona T. Li ain't a spectacle our owndamnselves....sittin' in the parkin' lot in a rusted out thing that used to be a Cheby pickemup truck, with a pile of rusty metal that fell off our pickemup truck layin' underneath it from when I opened the dern door...yellow mustard smeared on our faces like clown makeup, from slurpin' hotdawgs and insanely laughin' at the critter parade what is goin' by. Yessir, we's a funny site our owndamnselves. It's all hilarious round cheer. Thank God it's beautiful too.

 

OH yeah, at the Sheetz cornvienience store an ol' boy can git hisself 2 hotdawgs and a Pepsi Dope for a dollar fitty cents. And if you use yore Sheetz club card every 10th Pepsi Dope or hotdawg is free. Why, I musta died and gone to heaven Padre, I'm living in paradise.

 

Cheep hotdawgs, all this silliness, and a lil' woman beside me who tips a cattle scale at well south of a small heifer...all in a countryside that is pitcher post card beautiful....I has done found Nirvana. And I ain't even one of them fellers who even knows all that thar mystical stuff. I jes stumbled into it.

 

Yawl come on back now and then and lets play sum, cuzin' preacher man.

 

tsap dat seui

[Mick]

Cizzin' tsapper, awl that thar tawk bout critter watchin' reminds me of uh place jes down the road a peace frum our house. Well, it's a pertty ferr peace I guess, round bout ten miles az uh crow flies or about 15 miles by thuh main roads. I rekkon it's about 12 miles in muh Jeep, if'in you gits muh drift. Anywaze, this here little store is cawlled thuh Black Cat Mawl cause on one side iz uh little beer store and on the uther side iz a two-chair nail saloon, whar thuh wimmin cums tuh have their fainger nails dun up rite nice and have their toe nails clipped. I guess cause thuh little store has these two appendages hangin' off of it, they cawls it a mawl.

 

Anyhows, if'n you want to watch critters, this here is the place to be. It lies halfway between Punkin Center, Alabamer and Mud Hut, Tennersee. I rekkon it is smack dab on the state line cause they got a register at the front and the back and the sales tax is cheaper at one register. Plus, you cain't buy any alkeehawl at the Alabamer register, only at the Tennersee one. Of course, most folks jest wawlk next door tuh git their brewskis. You wawlk in the front door, but you have tuh go out thuh back, cawse thats whar the register iz. Front door is in Alabamer but the back door is in Tennersee. I often set down thar and eat me a Slim Jim or two, whilst I warsh em down with a lukewarm Yoohoo. I watch the local wimmin folk gruntin' and sweatin' trying tuh git their ample tonnage out frum behind the wheel of their compact Ford Focus or climb down outta their tuckered out Chevy Tahoes. Then they make their way into the store with their behinds a shakin' like a dawg passin' uh peach seed. Meanwhile, the men folk mostly just set in the car and either sleep or pick their nose. I can say fer a shore fire fact that more than a few of them Bubbers eat what they mined outta their nostrils. First time I saw one of em do that, I dern near upchucked muh Slim Jim and Yoohoo. I don't know what is worst, watchin' Wanda's jigglin' cellulite or Bubber's nasal-warmed snack.

 

When you make it down cheer fer a visit, I'll be shore to take you over tuh the Black Cat Mawl fer some critter watchin'. I'll imagine you will feel right at home.

[tsap seui]

Really funny stuff going on down yonder Mick. I cain't wait to visit and go bird watch some of those critters. HIlarious writin' there amigo.