English Is A Crazy Lanuage

[Thomas Promise]

Think about.

 

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

[ameriken]

Lol, so very true. I always wondered why the plural of moose is moose, goose is geese, and noose is nooses. Or if louses are lice, mouses are mice, why aren't houses hice?

 

And I'm sure we've all had fun with trying to explain this language to our Chinese speaking partners.

[Mick]

We drive on parkways and park on driveways....

[Randy W]

Lol, so very true. I always wondered why the plural of moose is moose, goose is geese, and noose is nooses. Or if louses are lice, mouses are mice, why aren't houses hice?

 

And I'm sure we've all had fun with trying to explain this language to our Chinese speaking partners.

 

It's especially fun when I get asked to "open" a light, or to "make some tall" (turn the A/C temp up). The Chinese seem to have a word for it, and it seems to mean the same thing no matter what the context is.

[Argyle]

Well, consider the prefix "dis" which can be added to a word to create its opposite.

 

For example, respect -- disrespect; continue -- discontinue; but what about disgruntled?

[Mick]

Well, consider the prefix "dis" which can be added to a word to create its opposite.

 

For example, respect -- disrespect; continue -- discontinue; but what about disgruntled?

 

Or disturbed....personally I spend most of my time gruntled, which must mean content or happy. And I guess I am also turbed just as often...

Edited November 21, 2013 by Mick (see edit history)