Is it okay to buy a hug?

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Listen to this discussion by Harvard University Professor in China. It provides a good picture of of how Chinese people think when provided the opportunity to discuss in an open forum.

 

http://video.sina.com.cn/v/b/93681671-2036021381.html

[Randy W]

Just hold your arms up in the air and say, "bao bao". It works every time (at least for the baby).

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Just hold your arms up in the air and say, "bao bao". It works every time (at least for the baby).

Watch the video. It's over one hour long, but includes several exchanges between students, the professor, and each other. It's about how Chinese people think about whether or not buying and selling a hug is okay or not.

Edited January 10, 2013 by JiangsuExpat (see edit history)

[chilton747]

 

Just hold your arms up in the air and say, "bao bao". It works every time (at least for the baby).

Watch the video. It's over one hour long, but includes several exchanges between students, the professor, and each other. It's about how Chinese people think about whether or not buying and selling a hug is okay or not.

I'll check it out in the morning and get back. I think this might be ineresting.

[Randy W]

 

Just hold your arms up in the air and say, "bao bao". It works every time (at least for the baby).

Watch the video. It's over one hour long, but includes several exchanges between students, the professor, and each other. It's about how Chinese people think about whether or not buying and selling a hug is okay or not.

 

Yes - I will. I expect it will be of interest.

[Doug]

Pretty good exchange. Didn't get past 35 min though.

[Randy W]

Yeah, that seemed a little too tedious. Hopefully, there was a zinger at the end.

 

The premise was wrong. The girl is NOT selling loving, affectionate hugs - she's soliciting donations, with a cute gimmick. As long as people like the idea, or are interested in the cute gimmick, she gets the money. She could sell the gimmick in itself, but disclosing why she wants the money helps to preserve the 'cute' factor and avoid letting it seem creepy.

 

So the only thing cultural in there might be in their interpretation of the question - as if she were actually selling momentary love and affection for money.

[Urkidding]

Just don't give em' away free!

 

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/JQ7_HPP9J2Y

 

This guy gets arrested for giving hugs away free in the end!

Edited January 10, 2013 by Urkidding (see edit history)

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Yeah, that seemed a little too tedious. Hopefully, there was a zinger at the end.

 

The premise was wrong. The girl is NOT selling loving, affectionate hugs - she's soliciting donations, with a cute gimmick. As long as people like the idea, or are interested in the cute gimmick, she gets the money. She could sell the gimmick in itself, but disclosing why she wants the money helps to preserve the 'cute' factor and avoid letting it seem creepy.

 

So the only thing cultural in there might be in their interpretation of the question - as if she were actually selling momentary love and affection for money.

When you write "she", to whom are you referring? The first part of the discussion included Jing, Orange, and Mike. But, the discussion went way beyond selling hugs. This discussion was conducted at Xiamen University last month in December, with a close friend in attendance.

 

The cultural aspects of whether or not selling a hug should be okay or not are far reaching and illuminating. For example, the discussion between Jing, Orange, Mike, and another male student. It was Mike's position that the sales market should be totally open and free. The other male student thought that crossing moral lines by selling hugs would destroy the foundation of family, love, and society.

 

Orange thought because the hugs were not hurting anyone, that it should not be illegal. She did comment that the hug would be empty and without meaning, but that the person buying it may need it just the same.

 

The discussion continued on into the buying and selling of body parts like kidneys and hearts. The scenario of a poor peasant man who sold one kidney to help his family survive. Later, it was time for his son to go to the university. Would it be okay to sell his second kidney, despite the fact in so doing he would die? He had carefully considered his life and felt it best to give his life to get his son out of the village and get a good education.

 

Observing these kind of exchanges can be very helpful in better understanding the differences between Eastern and Western culture. I am impressed that in many ways our societies are similar, but then am also reminded that they probably could not be more different.

Edited January 10, 2013 by JiangsuExpat (see edit history)

[Randy W]

 

Yeah, that seemed a little too tedious. Hopefully, there was a zinger at the end.

 

The premise was wrong. The girl is NOT selling loving, affectionate hugs - she's soliciting donations, with a cute gimmick. As long as people like the idea, or are interested in the cute gimmick, she gets the money. She could sell the gimmick in itself, but disclosing why she wants the money helps to preserve the 'cute' factor and avoid letting it seem creepy.

 

So the only thing cultural in there might be in their interpretation of the question - as if she were actually selling momentary love and affection for money.

When you write "she", to whom are you referring? The first part of the discussion included Jing, Orange, and Mike. But, the discussion went way beyond selling hugs. This discussion was conducted at Xiamen University last month in December, with a close friend in attendance.

 

The cultural aspects of whether or not selling a hug should be okay or not are far reaching and illuminating. For example, the discussion between Jing, Orange, Mike, and another male student. It was Mike's position that the sales market should be totally open and free. The other male student thought that crossing moral lines by selling hugs would destroy the foundation of family, love, and society.

 

Orange thought because the hugs were not hurting anyone, that it should not be illegal. She did comment that the hug would be empty and without meaning, but that the person buying it may need it just the same.

 

The discussion continued on into the buying and selling of body parts like kidneys and hearts. The scenario of a poor peasant man who sold one kidney to help his family survive. Later, it was time for his son to go to the university. Would it be okay to sell his second kidney, despite the fact in so doing he would die? He had carefully considered his life and felt it best to give his life to get his son out of the village and get a good education.

 

Observing these kind of exchanges can be very helpful in better understanding the differences between Eastern and Western culture. I am impressed that in many ways our societies are similar, but then am also reminded that they probably could not be more different.

 

The one selling the hugs. There's obviously nothing actually WRONG with hugging another person, even if that person is a complete stranger. But I've noticed that Chinese women will often have a line they don't want you to cross as far as touching. If you do, they will pull back. That line can be anywhere from just a slightly affectionate touch to arm(s) around the body, to a hug

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

 

The one selling the hugs. There's obviously nothing actually WRONG with hugging another person, even if that person is a complete stranger. But I've noticed that Chinese women will often have a line they don't want you to cross as far as touching. If you do, they will pull back. That line can be anywhere from just a slightly affectionate touch to arm(s) around the body, to a hug

No one in the group was selling or buying hugs. It was simply a discussion started by the Harvard professor for the purpose of engaging a discussion. I have seen a few Chinese people who are reluctant to hug, but most understand it to be a Western custom and enjoy it. I am seeing more and more Chinese young people hug to say hello and goodbye to their Chinese friends. I probably won't be very successful in selling a hug when I go out tonight, but maybe I can buy one or two from the hot barmaid.

 

[Randy W]

 

 

The one selling the hugs. There's obviously nothing actually WRONG with hugging another person, even if that person is a complete stranger. But I've noticed that Chinese women will often have a line they don't want you to cross as far as touching. If you do, they will pull back. That line can be anywhere from just a slightly affectionate touch to arm(s) around the body, to a hug

No one in the group was selling or buying hugs. It was simply a discussion started by the Harvard professor for the purpose of engaging a discussion. I have seen a few Chinese people who are reluctant to hug, but most understand it to be a Western custom and enjoy it. I am seeing more and more Chinese young people hug to say hello and goodbye to their Chinese friends. I probably won't be very successful in selling a hug when I go out tonight, but maybe I can buy one or two from the hot barmaid.

 

 

 

The whole first part of the discussion was about a girl in Xiamen who sold hugs.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

The whole first part of the discussion was about a girl in Xiamen who sold hugs.

 

 

Actually, the discussion started by the professor was about whether there should be limits in a free market. He asked the audience the question about whether or not it was okay to buy or sell hugs. Then, asked for feedback from the audience. A microphone was passed around to those in attendance, from those who either supported or saw nothing wrong with it, to those who felt it went too far and crossed moral lines. Most stopped short of saying there should be a law to prevent it.

 

 

rw: fixed quote block

Edited January 11, 2013 by Randy W (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

I find that age and where one was raised has a lot to do whether a Chinese woman will accept a hug or not.

 

Hugs are such a common sign of western affection that I find it rather confusing whether or not to give a woman from China a hug. Some readily accept and expect hugs. When others will simply stand stiff with hands at their sides, as if I am trying to grope them. I think I have learned enough signals to know when or not to initiate a hugs. But, then again, I just hug 'em and tell them that's just the American way and get used to it.

 

I would suppose that expats simply don't go there at all.

[Randy W]

I find that age and where one was raised has a lot to do whether a Chinese woman will accept a hug or not.

 

Hugs are such a common sign of western affection that I find it rather confusing whether or not to give a woman from China a hug. Some readily accept and expect hugs. When others will simply stand stiff with hands at their sides, as if I am trying to grope them. I think I have learned enough signals to know when or not to initiate a hugs. But, then again, I just hug 'em and tell them that's just the American way and get used to it.

 

I would suppose that expats simply don't go there at all.

 

. . . and you would be wrong.